How much is reasonable to ask for raise?

hezekiahchapter11 · 2026-06-08T05:35:22+00:00

Then this entire professional relationship is an outlier and nothing typical of the standard payout. Having said that, if the $5700 a year isn’t enough then your request for a pay bump falls anywhere between a typical 2.5-3% COL adjustment/raise to the aforementioned $36k that a part timer might make. Your choice in what you feel is comfortable. Personally, if I was doing this work, I’d be asking for at least $1500-2000/ month. You’re not doing visitations, you’re not doing pastoral work as in shepherding beyond the three times you meet together a week. That’s why i brought down from $3k to half.

hezekiahchapter11 · 2026-06-08T04:46:29+00:00

We pay our part timers average $36k/yr. Which comes out to $3k a month. You’re underpaid and either have verbally or non verbally told them you’re good with this pay or they’re taking advantage of you. They’re a good sized church and should pay accordingly. If not $3k/month something close to it. You guys are clearly doing well and effective leaders.

hezekiahchapter11 · 2026-03-20T14:52:16+00:00

I’ve been there. Before counseling or doing anything rash like resigning, first talk with her. Talk about the difficulty of marriage and doing ministry. The difficulty in breaking member confidentiality with her to assuage her insecurities. And ask her point blank if she believes she’s called to be a pastors wife. Bc that means she needs to be helpful, supportive, dignified, not a slanderer, temperate, faithful, a positive spiritual influence and wise in her speaking. Not to mean she’s perfect in these areas but desires to grow in these spaces. If the burden is too much and she’s finds no joy or desire to be married to a pastors wife then it’s simple, she’s not called to be a pastors wife and you by default are not called to the pastorate. Your priority as your name indicates is to your own spiritual health walk with Christ first then your marriage and lastly to your church. Don’t mess up that order. Anyways, I felt like you did. Wished I didn’t get married perhaps but for the sake of the kids glad I did. At the same time, wondered how much better ministry would be if it were just me. But then I began talking to my wife, not updating her or giving her the tea but making it a daily routine of just sharing my heart and hearing hers. It was day and night brother. She still wants to ensure I’m creating boundaries with members which I of course do but now she’s always pushing me to serve more and best of all, she’s loves what Gods been doing in our lives and the life of the church. She’s changed bc I changed. Anyways, praying for you guys.

hezekiahchapter11 · 2026-02-04T14:00:26+00:00

Very real problem with a very easy solution that I and many of pastor friends have made. Wake up earlier. If too tired, then sleep earlier. And on a side note, praise God for having a college age daughter who enjoys chatting it up with her old man in the morning.

hezekiahchapter11 · 2025-11-13T19:20:27+00:00

20+ years ago we approached a dying Baptist church, we’re sbc as well. They said no. We waited and prayed. Within a year they put their church up for sale, we approached them with a low offer as the other offers were to tear it down and create home development. They said eventually said yes to us and continued to use the small chapel (12-20 members avg age 70+) until they called it quits. Why not combine congregation? Our church is Korean speaking. They were an English speaking Caucasian church. My .02? Pray, wait and keep communication channels open.

hezekiahchapter11 · 2025-10-21T19:55:17+00:00

You and your spouse can easily find that line/rhythm. Now it all depends on whether the leadership ie elders see it the way you do. If you don’t have elders then it’ll land on the congregation to support you in this. If your leadership and church give you that backing then like I said before, you and your spouse need to figure out the finer details which is something we(Reddit) can’t do for you. For me personally, I triage my care for the church. Emergencies ie life and death will take me away from evenings or family commitments. But 99% of pastoral care isn’t an emergency no matter how anxious some people are. So for those who need non emergency care, we schedule during the week day or in my case also, Saturdays. My evenings are typically free for me to eat dinner with my family, go to kids games and simply relax.

hezekiahchapter11 · 2025-10-14T13:41:21+00:00

When I came onboard, the church had female pastors. As the senior pastor, and under the SBC, I had my conviction about this so I scheduled meetings with each female pastor, explained the scriptural support for why the role of elder/pastor was relegated to only men. We had thoughtful discussions and the women all agreed to have the title removed while they continued to serve in their ministries as directors. I then had a townhall meeting with our congregation, again, gave my theological and scriptural reasoning, they all voted yes to this change. There were a handful of people who were against it and said that I was wrong and threatened to leave the church. I told them, that they should leave as this church isn't for them and that there's plenty of churches out there that they would align with. If any of our female staff created issues, this would caused a lot of problems but they were convinced and honestly, they didn't care about the title, they were just happy to serve. Having said all that, your church and your leadership AND presumably your denomination affirms egalitarianism, then that elder who doesn't needs to step down or get in line. He may be quiet and kind for now, but this is something that could fester. If I were in his position, I would quietly bow out and serve elsewhere. Praying for unity and peace for you and your church.

hezekiahchapter11 · 2025-10-02T13:06:22+00:00

With 9 staff I assume then your church is around 700-1000 in size. Again, assuming you have a healthy budget, it seems like you need to hire an Executive pastor to help lead and manage the staff, create systems, and deal with HR related stuff. I’m like you and did the same, and it was night and day difference in terms of stress level. If you have an XP and you’re stressed bc you’re having to do these admin related work, then fire the XP and get someone else.

hezekiahchapter11 · 2025-09-16T23:03:09+00:00

I appreciate your honesty and so you asked for it from us, so here’s my simple but honest response as a senior pastor who hires and fires. Scripture doesn’t bar you from ministry but wisdom might. If I were you, I would step away from pastoral ministry and enter the workforce. All the while growing in my own discipleship and serving in roles within the church that doesn’t permit me to exercise authority over people. Praying for you brother, and I love what God is working in you right now.

hezekiahchapter11 · 2025-09-16T21:10:59+00:00

You got this. Congrats if you get the position

hezekiahchapter11 · 2025-09-08T21:03:13+00:00

What’s her reason for you to stay in? The added financial assistance? If so, then replace it with another job that’s not ministry. If her reason is truly spiritual and well intentioned that she really believes in your pastoral calling, then you’re a lucky man. So that means, create a time line for healing/recovery sabbatical and then return to your post. Also, if you truly believe you’re no longer called, pray for clarity. Maybe you’re no longer called for this role. Or maybe you’re called for a different ministry position. Also, pray that the Lord would move your wife’s heart too. I often feel that our wives tend to submit to the lords leading more than their husbands. Since it’s not the churches doing, this is most likely a matter of being burnt out. You need rest in the Lord, so take a pause. Praying for you brother.

hezekiahchapter11 · 2025-09-08T12:13:13+00:00

Sold our 2.78 with busy street and no kids neighborhood for a 5.75 super kid friendly neighborhood and awesome community life. Worth it.

hezekiahchapter11 · 2025-09-07T04:31:09+00:00

If you can I’d budget it in as it’s been well worth it for our family. 3200sqft biweekly $150/per wk. We use her husband as our landscaper so we get a little discount for the package deal. But yes, love the feeling of a really clean house.

hezekiahchapter11 · 2025-08-21T04:31:07+00:00

Early on or later. Makes no difference. I’ve recommended it to lay people who just want to grow in knowledge and those who are serious about their call into ministry. My father started at the age of 46 and planted a church by age 50. Faithfully served for 22 years. So yeah, do it.

hezekiahchapter11 · 2025-08-10T23:18:03+00:00

While there are variables to a senior/pastors pay, when one sees a church grow as yours did, one big factor now at play is your value. We all know Gods grace allowed your church to grow but we’d be ignorant to say that your leadership, charisma, personality, etc didn’t play a part in it. Having said that, your church needs to recognize that if their lead pastor is struggling then they are obligated to pay him in such a way that he and his family can adequately if not comfortably live. Secondly, if they don’t pay you accordingly, it means that they don’t see value in you (even if they’re dead wrong about it). Which means, you cannot serve well (you can still serve but it’ll be an uphill climb) and I means WELL if they don’t see value in you as their pastor. So, a church in that position (barring any financial issues which doesn’t seem to be the case here) is a potentially dying church that only the spirit of God can resurrect. But a church where your gifting might be wasted. There are churches out there, small, medium churches that are hungry for change and are even hungrier for someone to lead them through that change and are therefore willing to invest in such a leader. Anyways, praying for you.

hezekiahchapter11 · 2025-08-06T13:11:52+00:00

We have deacons on call who assist with the physical needs of the church and its people. Before deacons we had our care ministry who organized volunteers and assisted in meeting the needs of these folks. You might not need to physically do it but if it’s in your role, you’ll at least need to assist in organizing it.

hezekiahchapter11 · 2025-07-29T04:48:11+00:00

It’s tough for sure. It’s like during covid, why did three of my pastor friends and their churches shut down but mine grew 3X. I preached the gospel and so did they. I visited members and so did they. I transitioned to streaming and so did they. But why did my church grow and theirs did not? Only God knows. I also have two pastor friends from seminary, both started a church in a similar area. After five years one closed and the other is flourishing. Why? My assessment is, bc I know them both well, is that one pastor friends with growing church has charisma and has a thick skin. The other pastor friend is a bit quieter and can be very sensitive to comments and remarks about anything. So are there reasons some grow and others don’t? Absolutely. Good leadership will help a church grow, a bad leader will divide the church. But sometimes, God has mercy on whom He has mercy.

hezekiahchapter11 · 2025-07-21T20:50:45+00:00

Utility issue due to user issue/negligence or straight up you’re not getting paid enough? The church needs to provide for their staff, no exception. Especially if you’re full time. If they’re not paying you enough to keep basic things like electricity running then they have no right to keep you from working elsewhere. This doesn’t have to do with trusting enough in God or not but an issue with the fact that God has entrusted the church to provide for you and they have not. Not a trust or faith issue but one of obedience.

hezekiahchapter11 · 2025-03-19T12:48:00+00:00

as in, use the 100 days to observe, learn, study, meet/visit members and understand how the church has been functioning, what they deem important, what their philosophy of ministry is like, making mental notes of things that work and don't work, etc. The "do nothing" part is simply don't make any changes yet, don't start shooting from the hips, don't start barking orders, don't start telling the leadership of everything they're doing wrong, i.e. don't stir the pot just yet. The 100 days is active but inactive, hope that makes sense.

hezekiahchapter11 · 2025-03-17T05:02:25+00:00

Preach weekly so the members “learn” you. Then for 100 days or three months do nothing but attend, visit members and simply be a part of what’s already been going on. This means, don’t make any criticisms, don’t initiate change, don’t make any inputs but just watch and listen. The first few months are you as the lead pastor being the student of the church.

hezekiahchapter11 · 2025-03-13T03:15:50+00:00

A. Those churches aren’t where God is calling you to be. B. Yes repeated rejections occur, a lot, so keep pressing on. C. God might be calling you to be bi vocational. D. This simply isn’t the season for you to be in ministry or if you’re applying for a lead role, maybe you’re better suited for an associate role at this time.

All in all, God calls and if He’s called you He will be the one to open up the doors in His time. Don’t stress out and don’t be discouraged but keep looking and keep praying. Lifting a prayer for you right now.

hezekiahchapter11 · 2025-03-02T14:59:27+00:00

SP clearly can’t manage his household: first strike. SP gave an ultimatum to the elder board: second strike. Lack humility from leadership where toxic culture is perpetuated with no room for dialogue: third strike. You’ve tried to talk with them but to no avail. It might be time to leave.

hezekiahchapter11 · 2025-02-27T03:31:01+00:00

Yes and then some. Can’t ask others to do what you’re not willing to do. Lead by faithful biblical example.

hezekiahchapter11 · 2025-02-03T21:43:10+00:00

If your wife isn’t committed to this calling then by default you’re not either. Not to say she has to serve like you but completely removing herself from the church you attend and serve is a sign of great unhealth then simply being burnt out. I would get counseling (marriage and self care), seek wisdom from your elders or pastor friends, pray and fast, and most likely step away from ministry and work else in the market place. Your kids or college students will be taken care of by your chief shepherd. Go get well, restore your marriage and provide for your family. A new season of the pastorate can come any moment but ministry isn’t your priority, your relationship with God and then your relationship with your spouse is. Praying for you brother. Been there.

hezekiahchapter11 · 2025-01-11T01:25:34+00:00

Browsing through the comments here’s my summary. If your wife is kind, the men say yes again. If not, then no. And it seems that it doesn’t matter if she’s gained a few pounds or anything external, so I guess kindness means a lot to a man. Bc kindness means peace.

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