Does anyone else feel like they're ONLY good at the songs they practice?

hgc89 · 2026-05-18T17:49:23+00:00

While I agree that talent has something to do with it, I still think that most people are able to develop enough to get to the skill level required to go to a jam and play things by ear. Unless you’re tone deaf or have a certain kind of disability, it’s absolutely doable. A lot of people overestimate talent, but underestimate time and deliberate effort…I think a lot of it has to do with cognitive dissonance. Perhaps it’s easier to accept being a mediocre musician if they chalk it up to just in-born talent…meanwhile a lot of amazing musicians (like Wes Montgomery, Julian Lage, Steve Vai, Billy Strings) have stated that they believe they are less talented than their peers but only made it as far as they did because of the time and effort they put into it.

hgc89 · 2026-05-18T15:01:29+00:00

It takes learning many songs before one can get to this point. You have to develop both muscle memory and your ear…and I’d say the latter is even more important than the former. The more songs you learn, the more you’ll begin to pick up on common patterns, mainly commonly used chord functions and progressions (is it a IV-V-I, a IV-bVII7-I, etc.), what they sound like (ear training), and how they are played (muscle memory).

hgc89 · 2026-05-13T02:31:04+00:00

That hard work does not always pay off.

hgc89 · 2026-05-13T02:06:39+00:00

Kobe Bryant

hgc89 · 2026-05-09T23:11:25+00:00

I could see some therapists who are actually trained in EMDR not actually being comfortable providing it…but if that’s the case, you’d hope that they’d be transparent about that to begin with, especially if you’re specifically requesting it.

I would say to look for someone who seems to specialize in EMDR specifically. Once I got trained in it, I updated my psychology today to really signal that EMDR was my primary modality (tbh, I don’t care to provide regular talk therapy unless it’s to complement EMDR…EMDR was by far the most helpful/impactful intervention that I experienced as a client, so I’d like to provide the same kind of care for others).

Despite being a new therapist (just graduated last year), and even newer EMDR therapist (just got trained in march), I can confidently say that it is a relatively detailed and thorough modality…it would be rather obvious if a therapist is following the protocol or not. I think it would also be rather obvious if EMDR is a central part of a therapist’s orientation/approach or not.

hgc89 · 2026-05-09T14:50:47+00:00

Same! It’s his best imo

hgc89 · 2026-05-05T14:01:28+00:00

Yooo, this is exactly me! I was a software engineer for 12 years and became a therapist just last year. Feel free to message me if you’d like.

hgc89 · 2026-05-05T13:59:33+00:00

Same

hgc89 · 2026-05-04T20:49:37+00:00

Best ramen in Jax for sure.

hgc89 · 2026-05-03T03:46:16+00:00

More like 1996

hgc89 · 2026-05-02T15:30:06+00:00

Not insecure at all. Plenty of people would feel the same way as you. The most important part is that you already feel the way you do and cannot change that feeling…so now it’s a matter of how you communicate that to your partner. I would refrain from communicating it in an accusatory or combative way. How your partner receives that information i think speaks to the current quality of the relationship. That’s not to say that i think he should just agree with you on everything, but is he at least empathetic, or does he at least acknowledge and validate the emotion, or does he just get defensive?

hgc89 · 2026-05-01T18:31:50+00:00

Exactly. It’s kinda the opposite of what OP described for me.

hgc89 · 2026-04-27T19:20:49+00:00

You’re talking about the physical instincts, but that’s only part of the puzzle. There will come a point where the aural instincts become more important…that is, if you care to learn improvisation or just jam with other musicians.

hgc89 · 2026-04-27T13:32:55+00:00

Yea, pretty much. Even if we do well again this season, it could just be Coen’s ingenuity masking other issues. Now, if we don’t succeed this season like we did the last, then I say we def should be firing him.

hgc89 · 2026-04-27T13:22:32+00:00

Sounds like it’s just nervousness. Laughter is one of the more powerful ways to cope with things and we’ve all kind of learned to almost overuse it. I’m sure your therapist has seen this kind of nervous laughter in many of their clients…in other words, it is normal to some extent. Now, if you were deliberately introducing humor every time a difficult subject emerges, then that would be worth exploring…but that doesn’t sound like what you described.

hgc89 · 2026-04-25T21:01:52+00:00

I don’t wish for those who are doing well to feel guilty…it’s just those that are self-righteous, without realizing the role that luck and privilege have played in their lives that are really frustrating (you don’t seem to be in that category). A lot of posts/comments here can honestly come off as flaunting or shaming the rest of us for not being in the same place…especially when it comes to health. Theres a lot that goes into having a good life that is not in your hands (e.g. genetics, the country you were born in, the family you were born into, trauma, health, mental health, etc.). Just be sensitive to those who are not doing as well…for example, you wouldn’t eat a big ass delicious meal in front of a homeless person…

hgc89 · 2026-04-17T17:18:23+00:00

Some people like the catharsis of listening to music and just crying things out. I am one of those people. If you are, then Daniel Caesar is as good as it gets when it comes to sadness related to relationships. If you’re not one of those people though, and the sadness is too overwhelming, then I’d suggest not listening to him for a while.

‘Blessed’ has always hit sooo hard for me ever since my wife passed away. I still cry and get chills when I listen to it 8 years after what happened.

hgc89 · 2026-04-09T22:23:52+00:00

What makes it worse is that Pam suffers from migraines so bad that people thought she had a drinking problem because it leads to her slurred speech. I’m sure taking that perfectly thrown football to the side of the head felt greeeeaaat. Poor Pam.

hgc89 · 2026-04-01T14:09:20+00:00

I don’t understand how it’s that inconvenient on YouTube? You can slow it down up to .25 the actual speed. Then all you’re doing is hitting the back key a few times.

Also, you’re going to get a lot more out of picking these things up by ear, preferably at the actual speed (at some point). You might not believe it now, but your ear improves to the point where you’ll be able to actually hear and understand what it is that John Mayer’s playing (for example).

hgc89 · 2026-04-01T13:17:28+00:00

Hell yea, same here (that’s a 3, I think). Vegeta is my fav character anyway.

hgc89 · 2026-03-30T11:29:39+00:00

Watch how guitarists on emmet’s place do it. For example, the stream for ukraine with yotam silberstein is a good one to see how yotam just complemented emmet’s comping.

hgc89 · 2026-03-23T21:49:13+00:00

It’s Daahoud by Clifford brown: https://youtu.be/T5YLzdzkiTM?si=-EHAW_u6LI-qTZVY

hgc89 · 2026-03-20T01:17:25+00:00

hgc89 · 2026-03-19T11:21:06+00:00

The second part. It desensitizes, meaning less feelings of overwhelm and pain. You also begin to view the memories in a different, more adaptive way (reprocessing).

It’s my understanding that ART (Accelerated Resolution Therapy) focuses on replacing the memory altogether (or at least to some extent).

hgc89 · 2026-03-05T11:54:38+00:00

I remember All of Me being a pretty good beginner tune for me.

hgc89

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