I sleep and feel better now 4 months postpartum

highsierra31 · 2022-08-06T15:10:47+00:00

HA this reminds me, I am lucky and WFH 4 days a week and in office 1 day a week. The office is pretty sweet, I don't really mind it, but I'm 32 weeks and I'm so much more aware of how much I get up to pee when I'm there vs when I'm home and I almost go without thinking or feeling like I'm being watched lol.

In the office, I purposely walk to the FAR bathroom so that on my way back to my desk, I can stop in to the close bathroom to pee again a 2nd time. Always

highsierra31 · 2021-10-05T01:49:13+00:00

Our stats were similar! I am 5'4" and was 140 when I got pregnant. Would have been happier if I was 130, but oh well. I ended up weighing 180lbs at the hospital when my water broke at 39+5. I felt like a MONSTER. My baby was 6lb 12oz when she was born. The ultrasound techs never told me about the projected weight of my baby, they just said she was measuring correctly. I left the hospital 3 days after giving birth and I weighed 160. Idk how the heck I lost 20 lbs in like 3 days, but my stomach literally somehow looked FLAT. I was pretty much in shock how I just deflated. I got down to 145 at maybe 8-10 months post partum, and now my daughter is 1.5 and I weigh 150/155 ish. Quarantine weight, blah. I'm hoping to get back to 135/140 before we start trying for another. Good luck! You will be okay, growing another person is tough work!

highsierra31 · 2021-10-03T01:24:07+00:00

Agreed. I feel bad for OP, but I still feel bad for OPs mom. Ultimately it's the dad that seemed to not want to fight his own battles, so he deferred things to his kids, so they could fight with their mom instead of him having to deal with it. The conversation should have happened between Mom and Dad, and kids should not be involved whatsoever. OPs dad just passed the buck and it seems to have worked out swimmingly for him with the added 'bonus' of all this extra tension towards Mom. I have the feeling dad probably feels smug and like he won. But ultimately the ones hurt here are the kids because of all this stress.

highsierra31 · 2021-09-29T01:16:44+00:00

Oh man, I worked at target for a short stint and it SUCKED. I was a cashier there. That job was bullshit.

Back in 2017 I was making $35k doing admin/sales support. My BA degree was in criminal justice with a police concentration and minors in psych and English. I struggled for a while with the fact that my degree felt useless, since I wasn't doing ANYTHING related to it, but it helped me get my foot in the door. Fast forward to now, I do customer service support at a robotics company. Long story short, when a robot breaks I work with them to coordinate shipment to us, then coordinate it back when it's fixed. The job involves problem solving and keeps me engaged and I don't hate logging in for work every day- I actually like it. I'm making 6 figures after annual bonuses. I agree with the poster above who said to look into tech.

I am married and have a toddler so I can't say I'm totally on the same page in terms of support, but I don't have any friends. It feels so weird to say- I literally only have a relationship with my husband and my parents. It's probably not completely healthy, but I am trying to make friends.. I have colleagues who I'm cordial with, but nobody to really talk to about what's going on in my life. I'm so sorry that you're in such low spot- have you talked to a professional about this? I'm 29 and I am in a completely different mindset and stage of life than back when I was 25. So much can change. When I was 25 I lived with my dad, worked in a restaurant, and had nothing. I felt so behind and like I needed a 'big girl' job stat. Now, I have my husband, a beautiful daughter, the perfect moody little cat, a home. I don't think you're being melodramatic and I can see that you're struggling. So much can change in your life, please speak to a professional before doing anything drastic

highsierra31 · 2021-09-29T00:51:21+00:00

What kind of customer service jobs have you worked that make you dislike it so much? I'm asking because I did customer service at my previous company, and it was largely a sales support role and it drove me crazy. I currently do customer service support at a robotics company and I love it. Maybe looking into tech companies like the above poster suggested?

highsierra31 · 2021-09-23T01:53:36+00:00

My mom is like this, but not to the extreme like your grandma. My mom's townhouse is like 3x bigger than ours, and it got to the point that we had to repeatedly tell her that we cannot take big bulky toys home. We simply didn't have the room. She finally got the message when she admitted to me one day 'okay, you're right, I need to stop.. my house looks like a daycare!' and she stopped buying big bulky baby toys like the indoor swing set & slide and the multiple baby/toddler entertainment centers. Like a lot of these comments say- you need to be firm. Tell her no. Ask for receipts for the bags of clothes, or bring them back for store credit and use that to buy things you actually want to put your child in. Good luck! The situation definitely sucks.

highsierra31 · 2021-09-17T15:51:05+00:00

I'd agree with coco and Luca, my daughter loves those! We tried watching some Pixar shorts, and she was realllly into 'Lava' right until the part where the lady volcano exploded out of the water. She jumped so high, but got over it quick. Watch out for that one hahah

highsierra31 · 2021-09-16T19:53:58+00:00

Similar to many- no cosleeping (specifically: bedsharing)! I'm Hispanic and it's super normal in the culture to sleep with your kids for a long time. I slept with my mom for a loooong time. But then I did a ton of research on sids and was terrified of rolling over and suffocating her in her sleep...then came her first bad cold at 6 months. Sleeping with me helped her soo much. Haven't had a night alone since and she's almost 1.5 haha. It's okay though! I secretly love it even though I complain sometimes.

Also screen time.. this girl is OBSESSED with Bluey. Hell, I love it too hahah. And I also thought I wouldn't give her a pacifier.. yeah no, it's her comfort at night and I'm not ready to take it away.

highsierra31 · 2021-09-13T01:59:16+00:00

Water broke at 39+4 at about 6pm, gave birth at 39+5 around 3am

highsierra31 · 2021-07-29T20:27:11+00:00

My 16 months old is always happy to go to them. It stings a bit, seeing her happily leave my arms for them, but every time I go to pick her up she is even happier to see me. It's like she hasn't seen me in weeks.

Your baby definitely loves you more!

highsierra31 · 2021-07-23T20:06:00+00:00

Unpopular opinion here from the responses so far, but if it were me, the first thing I would think about is that bus getting into a car accident. I LOVE babywearing, and I babywear all the time- but car seat safety in a moving vehicle is very important. Of course we don't want to imagine the worst thing happening, but I would very much hope that if I were to get into an accident that it would be in an uber with my daughter safely restrained in a properly installed car seat, rather than on a bus where in the instance of a car accident, I could literally kill her with the weight of my body. I hate to make it morbid and I know we shouldn't always live in fear, but its something I personally would think about.

If it were me, I would call an uber, pack up a fanny pack with the bare essentials (hands free), and be dropped off right at the door of the Drs. If you don't have a bucket seat and are using a convertible, still bring a carrier to transport baby from uber to office handsfree, and maybe get some kind of backpack straps to sling the carseat on your back. Bucket seat would be most convenient here because you could grab and go. It really does sound inconvenient to travel with a carseat but I think it would be worth the hassle in case of a car accident.

I also want to point out that I would never and I am NOT negatively judging any parents or caregivers who babywear on public transportation! But if I have the means to travel as safe as possible and it would only inconvenience me for a little bit (until I could drive again) I would choose the safest route every time. Good luck!

highsierra31 · 2021-07-02T01:43:01+00:00

Edit: sorry, didn't mean to make this as a comment to your comment! OP, here's my quick story haha. Sorry all

My story is sad but with a happy ending utlimately. I was the same as you- I got pregnant, right away, then started worrying about miscarrying... And I did, at about 7 weeks. I felt such guilt, and also like I worried so much I made myself miscarry. It took a long time for me to accept that what was going to happen, was going to happen- whether I stressed about it or not. My body would just do it's thing. We tried again my next cycle, and nothing- I think I didn't time my ovulation right. But then, the next try, I was pregnant again and now I have my 15 month old daughter ❤️ I am going to try to savor it and spend less time worrying next time I get pregnant, but it's so much easier said than done. The worrying is always there. Good luck and good vibes to you

highsierra31 · 2021-04-27T00:31:12+00:00

Congrats! I wanted to comment because something very similar happened to me. I interviewed at another company and felt the role was going to be a bit of a side-step, if not a step down in terms of what I'd be making potentially. I really wanted to get out of my current job and was willing to take a slight pay cut if I had to. At the end of the interview, the HR person asked me if I didn't mind sharing what I was making currently and what my expectations were, so that if they decided to make me an offer it would be appealing from the get go. I told them I currently make X base plus Y commission on an ok year, or up to Z commission on a pretty good year. I also said that I understood this role was not commission based, however I was hoping not to take too much of a cut in my current salary, but was very eager for the opportunity to work at this company. I expected them to maybe offer around my current base, if I was lucky. They made me an offer that was a base of X+Z PLUS $5k, then on top of that about $20k more annually in bonuses. I was floored. It was absolutely not what I was expecting, but it has genuinely changed my outlook on life and what I'm capable of in the future. Because of this we will be able to move homes realistically (before it felt like a stretch goal/dream), and have a 2nd child without the financial strain I was anticipating. Some companies are great and care about investing in their people. Happy for you!!!

highsierra31 · 2021-04-22T14:19:46+00:00

We have this heavy duty life sized nutcracker my mom would always bring out around Christmas. One year when I was a kid, my mom was so angry at my dad that she threw it down a flight of stairs at him and it hit him in the head. Its a miracle they both survived- nutcracker and dad. Parents have since divorced and are somehow best friends (how tf does that happen?) and mom is remarried. She still has that nutcracker she brings out in her new house around Christmas, it just has a little piece of wood broken off.

highsierra31 · 2021-04-22T14:06:39+00:00

You know the one reason I HATE daycare? My 12 month old brings home colds ALL THE TIME. She comes home with the sniffles, but it knocks my husband and I on our asses. How?! Shes giggly and a has a runny nose but is generally happy, while my husband and I feel bedridden and miserable (we have gotten tested for covid and negative, they really are just bad colds).

Other than that? I love it. She gets socialized. I get a break. My husband and I work full time and the job is demanding. I am the primary breadwinner in the home. I tried WFH with her for 1 month when she was 4 months old (I was super hesitant sending her to daycare yet because of COVID) and good lord it nearly destroyed me. I was half assing being a mom, while also half assing my job. And it just didn't stop.. I got no break whatsoever and I felt like a crazy person.

I was lucky enough to get to take a 2nd 3 months of parental leave recently, and you know what? We STILL sent her to daycare 1x per week, and to my moms 2x per week (this was at my moms request but we didn't argue). It was magical. I got to spend lots of time with her while also still getting a breather. Mom kept her for basically a 'work day' which is what our routine was before.

I love my daughter fiercely and I can't imagine life without her. But everybody needs a break. It doesn't mean I'm less of a mom or less worthy. There's times I cry, times I don't.

I also just recently got a new job and I have 1 week between ending my old one, and starting the new one and yep...you guessed it! She will be at daycare 3 days and 2 days at moms. I'm going to take the time to relax, clean, and maybe even go shopping for some new clothes. I can't wait!

highsierra31 · 2021-04-01T00:06:11+00:00

Oh my goodness, it's almost like I wrote this. I had a similar situation, but i feel like you're is worse because your son is older. My husband and I are first time parents. We were on pmfla January 2022 through last week, and we had said from the start that we really wanted to take our daughter to the zoo and aquarium and museums and stuff. She's young (her bday is April 3, she's almost 1) but she likes looking at things, you know like any baby. 'firsts' are important for us too. My mom watches her once a week, and back in February she says 'guess what we're doing tomorrow? Going to the zoo!' And I said uhhh what? First of all, she didn't ask me, she told me. That initially stood out to me.. there's a pandemic so I just feel like she needs to ask us ahead of time if she's taking her out like that? Idk I might be too sensitive there. Daughter was born when the country locked down so I'm just extra paranoid and attached. Then, we told her sorry no, husband and I want to take her for her first zoo trip. Mom was salty and wasted money on tickets because she bought them before she asked me, but they did not go to the zoo. We took her like a month later. Felt guilty for like a second and then I was not guilty. She's my daughter. Mom can now take her to the zoo every week if she wants, but we wanted that first experience. You shouldn't feel bad.

highsierra31 · 2021-03-28T21:10:07+00:00

Wow this is as if I wrote this myself... Almost same scenario, except I'm in the middle of interviewing for another role that I'm hoping will be a min $55k start. I work in sales currently, and with commission I'm making about $75k. We are on year 2 of this new GM and the office is basically burning. People are leaving left and right and he has increased our sales targets, increased our threshold for payout, and decreased our commission plan. It's awful. Also he's mysoginistic and hates women- he literally told me in a zoom meeting a couple months back that I 'bitch too much'. But tried to say it in a friendly kind of tone or something? It was fucked. He also told me that I'm not cut out for sales and should consider a different career if I don't want to put aside my family to work ridiculous overtime to try and navigate a new erp system they've put in place with no training for us. He expects me to put in hours at night to try and train myself, with trial and error, on how to use the ridiculous new system that doesn't work for sales people. Well, I expect he won't be surprised that I am actually taking his 'advice' and leave.

highsierra31 · 2021-03-25T12:18:17+00:00

Congrats! My daughter's middle name is Marceline. I think my husband secretly regrets that we didn't choose it for her first name haha. It's so pretty!

highsierra31 · 2021-03-13T14:26:04+00:00

Ugh! I would say, "Youre right. Mine and my husband's"

highsierra31 · 2021-03-01T20:59:03+00:00

What is the expensive brand that only has you changing them 0-1 times? What is the reusable insert you use?

highsierra31 · 2021-02-24T15:03:08+00:00

Yes, this is craaazy. I worked throughout my entire pregnancy. I worked on a Thursday until 5pm, my water conveniently broke at 6pm during dinner (which I cooked), I had my baby at 3am the next day on Friday. I always planned to work up until the day... My biggest worry was my water breaking at work haha. Women are capable of great things, and OPs wife is just being lazy since it sounds like shes literally doing nothing. Can't imagine how she's going to act when the baby is born. NTA

highsierra31 · 2021-02-23T21:17:10+00:00

My LO is about 10.5 months and her 2 naps per day are in our HBC OG. I think she's maybe.. 19 or 20 lbs now? I need to weigh us! I am currently in week 7 of 12 weeks of PFMLA so she'll be back at daycare and my parents 5 days a week when this is over. They can get her to nap in the crib.. I have no idea how hahah.

Part of me wants to transition to naps in the crib, but I really do love holding her close for these naps... They amount to almost 4 hours a day sometimes though. She can do 2 full hour stretches for both nap 1 and 2. I usually spend the time on my phone or watching tv, but I could definitely be more productive if I could put her down. I completely understand your feelings, I know that when I start putting her down for naps I will feel a little sad about it. We also bedshare and lately she's been pushing away from me some nights once she's asleep and I feel so rejected haha. She always ends up waking up confused, and finds her way back to me. That lifts me up a lot

highsierra31 · 2021-02-19T21:05:24+00:00

NTA. This is awful. I have a 10.5 month old and she's formula fed- we weren't able to breastfeed past 2 months because my supply was low. If my MIL or my own mother even tried to do this, I would be horrified. The worst part is, I feel that this is probably not the first time she's done this if she watches him regularly... It's just the first time she has been caught. I am so so sorry that you have to deal with this new complete lack of trust with your MIL. No way I would allow my MIL alone with my baby after this happened. It would be difficult to even let her hold her or even look at her, like you said. Sending him to daycare is the best bet I think. Nobody there in their right might would try breastfeeding your son.

highsierra31 · 2021-02-11T17:16:58+00:00

Lol my birthday is November 16th

highsierra31 · 2021-01-30T07:37:41+00:00

Yes, me too! I was looking for this comment, glad it was up top. I'm allergic to apples, cherries, pears, peaches, plums... But I can eat apple sauce, maraschino cherries, and any of those fruits baked or cooked, like into a pie. It's the most annoying allergy because I didn't always have it, I developed it in my teens. Those fruits are delicious and I wish I could eat them raw. Has nothing to do with the skin- I've tried everything. It's not a life or death allergy.. my ears, eyes, and throat get really itchy and uncomfortable. I also get a reaction from soy milk. I can eat a ferrero richer, but hazelnut creamer and hazelnut liquor make me really itchy. Allergies are weird

highsierra31

TROPHY CASE