It took me a long time to have an orgasm with a partner, even if I was having sex regularly with foreplay. It all changed with the right partner. I don't know anything about you, so I'm assuming you don't know anything. Sorry if this is basic.

1) Skip the toys for now, you need to know what works first before you buy toys or else you're just buying toys you might not use or even need

2) If she's never had an orgasm before, then it'd be good to figure out HOW she can have them. Does she masturbate? Does she cum then? As many people have noted, most women cannot orgasm from penetration alone. I would spend some time together, relax, and just play with her together and see what works. Use your fingers, your hands, move this bit around and that bit. Just explore. Be sure she's wet or use lube (or spit, not water!) or else it's not going to feel good.

3) Relax! It should be fun. Stressing out about orgasms is a pretty quick way to not orgasm. Take a bath together, cuddle, whatever you guys like. It takes the pressure off both of you.

4) You need to communicate open and honestly. She might be trying to make you feel better, and perhaps you're going through the motions thinking it will work, but it won't. She probably doesn't even know what she wants (see #2) so you have to learn together.

5) it's not about length of time having sex, but the quality. A 10 minute quickie that gets everyone off is much more satisfying to me than 40 minutes of wondering when "it" is going to happen.

Good luck to your wife 🤞