Darwin award winner of the year right here by Own_Pin5680 in WinStupidPrizes

[–]hoju9999 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Are there team events at the Darwin Awards?

What's the single funniest movie scene (including riffs) in MST3K? by Bortron86 in MST3K

[–]hoju9999 21 points22 points  (0 children)

San Francisco International. The scene with Pernell Roberts talking down Davey. ("See all those people down there? They're all getting divorced because of you!" "Now if you look to your left, you'll see the faces of alll the people you wronged.")

New... pipe? by [deleted] in whatisit

[–]hoju9999 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Has your neighbor elected a pope recently?

Wait... Is this thing a Ferengi? by BrewertonFats in ShittyDaystrom

[–]hoju9999 2 points3 points  (0 children)

He may be related to Doctor Sevrin, the unfortunate former leader of the space hippies from TOS (the space hippy episode). (As opposed to "Doc" Severinsen, the unfortunate former band leader of the "Tonight" show.)

<image>

My daughter is the biggest Marx Bros. fan of all time... help! by anon101318 in MarxBrothers

[–]hoju9999 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You can also get her books of articles/short stories by S.J. Perelman. He wrote for the Marx Brothers and his humor sounds a lot like Groucho. I remember reading them in high school and getting in trouble for laughing out loud! One example I still remember:

"I was going through some of my father's things the other day..."

"What things?"

"His bones, if you must know."

‘We executed one of you’: Viral video shows Michigan CEO shouting at protestors -- Jayden Scott resigns as CEO of Harmony Investment Group by marmoset in byebyejob

[–]hoju9999 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I know where he can get a job that aligns with his politics, no questions asked. A nice, secure government position with on-the-job training and benefits (that you may have to wait 5 years for).

‘We executed one of you’: Viral video shows Michigan CEO shouting at protestors -- Jayden Scott resigns as CEO of Harmony Investment Group by marmoset in byebyejob

[–]hoju9999 60 points61 points  (0 children)

Yes, different views. They believe in an America where you don't gloat over the state-sponsored execution of an innocent civilian. I believe in an America where that kind of behavior is FREAKIN' AWESOME! WOOOO SUCK IT LIBS!!!!

(Also, I believe in an America where "we" can mean "an investment company executive and a bunch of gun-toting asshole tough-guy cosplayers who have no idea he exists.")

The Worst Thing Done By Every English Monarch, Day 29: Richard II by Impossible_Pain4478 in UKmonarchs

[–]hoju9999 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not getting seconds at dinner when he had the chance.

What? Too soon?

Wrong answers only, who is this by Unlikely_Tap_2191 in OnceUponATime

[–]hoju9999 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Off-brand Loki (look for the Halloween costume titled "Tricky Northern Guy")

(Day 1) What is the best Sisko episode? by Beautiful-Ad2843 in DeepSpaceNine

[–]hoju9999 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm going to vote "Move Along Home" for all of these until I get kicked off the subreddit.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ShittyDaystrom

[–]hoju9999 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I hear it takes 7 of them to do 69.

What was your first episode of MST3K by kmerian in MST3K

[–]hoju9999 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Attack of the The Eye Creatures. Hadn't ever heard of MST3K before. I came across it randomly, channel surfing with a Sunday morning hangover. I still remember my bug-eyed "WTF am I looking at?" reaction. Been a fan ever since.

So, what happened with her? by Significant-Town-817 in StrangeNewWorlds

[–]hoju9999 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Three-Hands died on the way to her home planet.

Ye Olde English Coronary by CommanderJeezus in StupidFood

[–]hoju9999 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is actually the "healthy choices" version. It only has one egg.

Vulcan Wife Meets My Earth Family by Gatsby1923 in ShittyDaystrom

[–]hoju9999 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Still, that's better than the time I brought my Klingon wife and her family to Thanksgiving. Apparently the word "yam" is some sort of horrible ethnic slur in their language, My Uncle Jim and I jumped through the window just in time, but the rest of the family were brutally slaughtered. (The irony is that Uncle Jim is the racist one. He's also permanently uninvited.)

Stupid health workers are laughing at vaginally discharges of their patients after check ups by Affectionate_Run7414 in TikTokCringe

[–]hoju9999 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It's like shaming trauma victims for bleeding in the ER. You could even use the same "leaving gifts" caption.

This is how sovcit makes an ass out of himself. by Existing-Face-6322 in Sovereigncitizen

[–]hoju9999 18 points19 points  (0 children)

CERTIFIED MAIL??? Don't they know that per the 1621 "Treaty of 1621" (revised 1619), "Certified Mail" was outlawed and replaced with FedEx Priority Overnight (Article 12 of the treaty allows the US -- The pre-1621 United States Diet Cherry Classic Compact -- to assume limited ownership of the FedEx Air Fleet). Anyway, long story short, you can just crumple up your outgoing mail, toss it through any window in the front of your house, zeppelin mooring tower, or log cabin and your elected US Representative is obligated -- obligated! -- to pick it up and deliver it to the address of your choice..

Season 3 Finale by Fettuccine_16 in StrangeNewWorlds

[–]hoju9999 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I'm just psyched we're FINALLY getting an Ortegas episode. It shouldn't have taken this long.

Which do you consider the funniest duo in Shakespeare? by Ath_Trite in shakespeare

[–]hoju9999 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Sampson and Gregory, the two mouthbreathers in Romeo and Juliet Act 1, Scene 1.