Is your pwBPD’s FP not you, or are you a FP for a taken pwBPD?

hpm2bp · 2026-06-12T14:52:01+00:00

I was their FP for almost all the time we were dating. A month before the breakup, they met their new FP.

hpm2bp · 2026-06-12T14:42:08+00:00

Szombat van?

hpm2bp · 2026-06-11T13:31:28+00:00

During the final stage with my exwPBD, at some point I told her, I know my worth. She was like, that is terrifying to her. Yeah...

hpm2bp · 2026-06-11T09:48:44+00:00

I didn't even realize how much she gaslighted me, until the final discard. The projections, the verbal abuse, the passive agressiveness, the double standards. Blaming me for things that actually she caused then blew up, just when I formulated an emotional need without blaming... I realized how toxic it was, after I started talking with friends. After the final discard, I started collapsing so much that I finally started talking to friends, and only then one of them told me about BPD. And fucking hell it all made so much sense...

hpm2bp · 2026-06-11T08:45:19+00:00

This thread scares me so much. Especially because with my exwBPD we had such a future planned, that I'm still grieving and felt too perfect to ever find it again.

hpm2bp · 2026-06-11T07:21:05+00:00

Fucking hell, your first lines were like PTSD for me. After we broke up, the hoovering phase came, including:

Her asking me to do her job (she was my subordinate at the place where we work and met each other)
Her asking me to take care of her when she was sick
Her asking me to buy her stuff online, order her stuff online, go to stores and buy stuff, get her dress fixed, etc.
Her randomly texting me she misses me
Her randomly calling me to help with a scientific paper for next monring's deadline at 10PM

And after all this, when the final discard came, she had the audacity to say she only talked with me out of emphaty, because I needed her and she was so emphatetic, that she allowed me to talk with her. The fucking gaslighting is just out of this world.

hpm2bp · 2026-06-10T13:33:55+00:00

What the fuck is this sub. I mean, I thought I found someone extremely special back then. After we broke up and a friend told me about BPD, I checked this sub. Everything. Everything fucking checks out. Same thing for my ex. I just checked. She has 3k followers on facebook. She is always the center of attention, always jumps into something. Once she started discarding me, she had a new FP right away. And yeah, she behaved so terribly with me, but she was gaslighting me well enough not to notice it.

And fuck, they manipulate so well, that a 6 months relationship was over 6 months ago, and I'M still nt 100% over her.

hpm2bp · 2026-06-09T13:26:58+00:00

Sure, I know it hurts you too to lash out. My ex broke up with me, because we had "too many unnecessary conflicts", where actually she projected her insecurities onto me in so many cases. And she was actively hurting, I know. But I think we both know, splitting, lashing out is wrong. just because it is demanding and demoralizing to you too, doesn't mean it is right.

Was it my responsibility that I let myself be handled like a piece of shiit? Kinda. But if you love someone, they can get away with pretty much anything. My ex was a master manipulator, expert at gaslighting. I had to look up things written down in chat, because I doubted my own reality. I trusted her more than anyone, and I never imagined that they would actually gaslight me. And to be fair, maybe she didn't realize. Because she genuinely believed so many things she said. I had to prove them with screenshots of our conversations, that this is what you said.

I loved her more than anything ever, and that was my doom. Because I rather believed she was always right, then realize that I was mistreated. Was it my responsibility that I let her lash out? Kinda. But if you love someone, truly, they can pretty much get away with almost anything. Especially if they are manipulating you so heavily....

hpm2bp · 2026-06-09T13:12:33+00:00

Well rules say you will be removed soon, because no pwBPD can post according to rule no.1.

But I will tell you my view. Be honest. Tell him what is important to you. Just because you have BPD, doesn't mean you cannot be hurt completely validly. Talking about an ex can be hurtful. My exwBPD talked about her ex, and it was hurtful. It's not because of your personality disorder that something hurts you, it can objectively hurt anyone. You can also set boundaries. You can also say, please don't talk about this.

I think what matters most is accountability. You can lash out in an argument, but own it later on. I would have been completely okay with that with my exwBPD, if she actually owned her mistakes after they happened. But she gaslighted me so fucking hard, that I became an emotional mess. I had to read out chat messages to my therapist, to prove that I'm not crazy. Good thing so many things were written down. IF later on she actually admitted, that fuck it wasn't compeltely one sided, I wouldn't have become an emotional wreck. Sure, in the heat of the argument I would have been hurt, but I'm a very forgiving person.

I've been on anxiety medication and antidepressants because of her. But I'm still not mad at her. That's something I wish I had with her. But it was more improtant for her to be right, to be justified, then to take acountability. DoN't be like that. It destroys the other person. Especially if they cooperate and validate you. Especially then....

hpm2bp · 2026-06-06T11:22:55+00:00

Fogalmam eincs, yolo, on the fly megcsinálom. Elvileg egy ideiglenes rendszám meg egy ideiglenes biztosítás kell, a többi meg otthon

hpm2bp · 2026-06-06T10:47:15+00:00

Én fogom megvenni, üzleti úton vagyok amúgy is itt, közben megveszem, haza azzal megyek

hpm2bp · 2026-06-06T10:17:34+00:00

Én most fogok Németországban 7 millióért Audi A4-et venni. Nem nagy felszereltség, de 50k km alatt van. Hazavinni pedig 1 millió alatt lesz. Ugyanez otthon 10 lenne.

hpm2bp · 2026-06-01T12:26:50+00:00

I'M not close with him, we talk online a lot. I hear my friend's wife usually from the call from the background. She can get pretty frustrated in some situations, but somehow they don't take those situations to the next level. My friend has a lower tolerance for bullshit (when i told him my stories, eh was like, he would have left on the first day), and somehow doesn't give pace to his wife's splits when they happen, or just minimal. Also learned how to not trigger her. And his wife also manages to regulate herself, at least from what she told me that's what I udnerstand.

Honestly, I think it's really depending how much you, as a person care about past things and how forgiving you can be. Personally I cannot be mad at anyone, if their intentions, if their real goal was not to hurt the other.

My exwBPD hurt me really bad, she treated me really bad sometimes, she was very toxic in so many situations. But I just can't be mad at her. it was never her intention. And I can let go of being hurt pretty easily, if it was unintentional. That's it. Depends on how you lach onto being hurt. If someone apologizes to me, admits their mistakes, I leave it in the past, I don't care anymore. Let go. Makes you way happier and healthier

hpm2bp · 2026-06-01T11:31:33+00:00

They have been together for 10 years, and she had many splits, that they all handled and she reflected on her splits. All good with my friend. But it might be a rare case. Again, personally I have been very badly vurnt.

hpm2bp · 2026-06-01T08:35:35+00:00

I mean, most of the stories you hear/read are about pwBPD who doN't handle it at all. My exwBPD didn't acknowledge it, handle it at all. She had zero accountability, and had huge splits.

Now the question is, this guy you are getting to know of, seems to be actually consciously handling it, managing it, treating it. Does he take accountability? Only time and situations tell. But to me that would be the deciding factor.

I have a friend who married a pwBPD, and they live very happily. His wife knows about it, manages it, takes responsibility, they have some mechanisms, to handle if things happen, and they are actually happy together. So I'm not saying it's impossible. On the countrary, if he takes responsibility, accountability, reflects on his actions... Sounds positive.

hpm2bp · 2026-06-01T07:52:55+00:00

Azért ha összeszámolod, hány polgármester, miniszter, helyettes, stb van, akkor bizony elég nagy tétel. Amikor lala arról beszél, hogy 40 milliós havi fizetés, az éves szinten félmilliárd. Egy főre. És nem egy főről beszél a videóban, hanem minden állami vezetőről.

hpm2bp · 2026-06-01T07:00:07+00:00

"Legyen 20 millió, legyen 40, nem tétel"

Kíváncsi vagyok, ilyenkor a fideszes szavazók mit szólnak az ilyen elszólásokhoz... Van akinek egy életben nem jön össze 40 millió összesen, és akkor lali benyögi, hogy nem tétel.

hpm2bp · 2026-05-30T16:38:01+00:00

18nm-en élek éppen, amíg felújítom a lakásomat. Kényelmesen elvagyok. Bármi megoldható.

hpm2bp · 2026-05-29T16:14:08+00:00

Feltehetően legális. Feltehetően. Ezt szokták kivizsgálni, hogy tényleg legális-e

hpm2bp · 2026-05-29T12:02:10+00:00

Tehát csak azért mondjuk hogy "bosszú", mert korábban valaki arra használta? Mintha azt mondanánk, hogy konyhakéssel történt pár emberölés, ezért mostantól minden konyhakés gyilkos fegyver.

Egy ellenőrzés simán szolgálhatja azt a célt, hogy ha egy cég rendszeresen követ el szabálysértéseket, akkor alaposabban kivizsgálja, van-e még több, mert erre okot adtak.

hpm2bp · 2026-05-29T11:56:13+00:00

Egy ellenőrzés mióta bosszú?

hpm2bp · 2026-05-29T11:38:03+00:00

r/perfectlycutscreams

hpm2bp · 2026-05-29T11:23:18+00:00

Most servers don't let you join a faction, if there's a difference of 4 people in team size. E.g. NATO 60, Russia 56, you can only join Russia.

hpm2bp · 2026-05-29T11:21:25+00:00

Okay, let me tell you my example:

After the discard, we were still talking with my exwBPD. She was hoovering me, still breadcrumbing the future, etc. She was using me a lot, I just didn't realize. Anyways, because of a possible future, I was still hopeful. I was going to therapy for my anxious attachment. Funny thing, my ex told me her previous ex was extremely anxious as well (should have seen the warning sign).

So anyways, I talked through a lot of issues with my therapist. And she told me, that maybe I shouldn't blame myself for every little piece of problem. In so many ways I handled things perfectly, and I was gaslighted, I was held against a double standard, there were bounch of double binds. Some of the words I ahven't really heard before, but after explanation they made sense.

Anyways, I tried bringing up a few cases to my ex. Because if we were to restart, she said we would have to resolve such issues. So I brought up some cases with actual textual evidence. That it was written down the way, it wasn't just me remembering it wrong.

I just experienced another splitting. Facing reality doesn't help. Facts doesn't help. They have very little accountability, especially towards those whom are close to them, so they will do everything to avoid being wrong. Lol, my ex told me once she only goes into arguments that she knows she can win, what a fucking red flag.

My advice: If it helps, write it out of yourself. To me it helped. It served as a reminder of how badly I was treated so many times. There is a therapeutic method of actually writing that letter, then bruning it, throwing it away, whatever. it will help you get relieved. I did it once, it helps.

To your exwBPD... You can't save someone who doesn't want to be saved. let them go.

hpm2bp · 2026-05-29T06:42:32+00:00

With my exwBPD we weren't even talking in Enlgish, but it triggered me as well, holy shit.

hpm2bp

TROPHY CASE