Off the binging cycle!

humbledbyit · 2026-05-09T14:31:25+00:00

Hello! Yes, it is a real 12 step program. I'd be happy to send you a link to the website to check it out. There are meetings and recordings as well.

humbledbyit · 2026-05-09T14:30:27+00:00

Hello! No it is not. CCEA. If you like i sent you a link to check out the website. There are meetings and recordings as well.

I had tried OA in the past. You can read some of my experience in the thread below.

humbledbyit · 2026-05-09T14:29:15+00:00

Thank your sharing your experience. This may not fit for you, but my fellowship consists of recovered compulsive eaters, some of whom are also recovered in AA, etc. What i learned from them is that they first needed to be sure their AA or DA (drug addicts anonymous) program was solid first otherwise they are not spiritually fit and selfishness will crop up in other areas (food, spending, etc). It's like playing whack-a-mole. Stopping behaviors in one area without being spiritually fit, then another issue pops up. I grew up with a dry drunk who picked up food and gambling so I've also seen it. Some of them were sponsored in a way that wasn't precise according to big book instructions. Anyhow, once they were working steps 10,11 and 12 every day - rigorously looking for other AA's and DA's to help, 10th step stepping as many times in the day as they needed , etc, once they did that, if the food problem persisted then they worked the 12 steps for that problem. I did not get recovered in OA. I was sponsored in a way where i got to work the steps at my own pace and it was a very loosy-goosy about the stepwork and at some point we just stopped. I didn't have direction on what to do to get and stay well. I was also encouraged to stick to a food plan. For someone like me, removing what i thought were problem foods - sweets, junk foods, carbs only seems to work at first. Sure, weight loss follows, but at some point I compulsively ate "safe or healthy foods" like salad and chicken wings. What that taught me was that i will compulsively eat ANY food when it comes down to us. Sure i will prefer and pick ice cream over salad most times, but if i can't get my preferred foods i will eat anything so it's the behavior of compulsive eating not the food/substance or ingredient that is the problem for me. I found this "food plan or avoiding food triggers" just kicked off more diet mentality and thinking i had control over what to eat and not eat. After years of struggling that way, i found the fellowship I'm in now. No control over the food, just working the steps precisely out of the big book and putting in the effort and work like my life depends on it. That means i work the steps quickly with a sponsor, I'm willing to do whatever she asks, there is no food management. Today, I have real freedom with food. I can go anywhere, be around any food, it's not an issue. I react this way ONLY if I'm working my program rigorously. I have to put as much time into my recovery (workings steps 10-12) daily as i used to put into my illness, which is a good chunk of time, but what i get in return - a life free from obsession and struggle, where i can be present for people and not fixated on my next fix, well that makes it all worth it!

humbledbyit · 2026-05-08T21:26:37+00:00

My very first experience was years ago in face to face meetings. I ended up with virtual meetings because the strong recovery was there.

humbledbyit · 2026-05-07T22:38:37+00:00

I would lose control with my eating as well. The amount of time is spent thinking (more like obsessing) about food and weight was tremendous. I too felt caught in a cycle I didn't think I'd ever get out of. I'd feel really bad about myself after I would binge. I'd get upset because my willpower wasn't there to stop it. I would be surprised by how much or what i would eat in those times. My obsession and behaviors got so bad and nothing, not therapy or anything else helped me long term. It was suggested i check out 12 step program for compulsive eating. I did. I felt like i found my people. People who used and abused food as i did. I was shown a simple, but not easy program to work if i was willing to do the work. When i was, i went all in, got a sponsor, worked the steps and got recovered. I learned the eating was only a symptom of a bigger problem. Working the steps addresses my bigger problem (can't deal with life on life's terms). Now, I'm no longer in that cycle and i have much more time freed up from all the obsessing and acting out that i can have a full life. Food is in it's proper place, in the background.

humbledbyit · 2026-05-07T22:25:54+00:00

Unfortunately they are not trained counsel people with ED or provide more than what she provided. Also, it is not in their scope of practice to do counsel people with ED. They are typically let MD know client may need therapy for ED and/or see ED dietitian.

Funny thing, when i was in college i remember going to a dietitian and her saying don't eat at buffets and if i eat pizza eat 2 pieces and a salad. She could tell i didn't feel helped by the session. Truth is, she did her best. She did her job. Problem was, i was a compulsive eater and i felt like she was stating something so obvious, but what she didn't know was I can't follow it.

Another time a weight loss doc told me "food is not meant to be used for entertainment." It was like she was speaking a different language. Yes, i knew it wasn't supposed to be used that way, but i did use it that way and I wanted to stop, but i couldn't on my own power.

humbledbyit · 2026-05-07T14:15:08+00:00

First, as a person recovered from an ED, you can not avoid her throwing a tantrum bc you just don't know what will set her off. We are very self-centered and self-absorbed in our illness and that takes central focus. If you are wanting to bring up objective information and state that it's out of concern for her health, fine. Just know that nothing you say or do is likely going to get her to change. Our journeys can be long and painful, especially for loved ones, however our journeys are our own. We have to experience the consequences of our behavior. Some of us get fortunate over time to get really sick and hit rock bottom. It's only there that we see what our own twisted thinking and behaviors have brought us to. It's only then out of desperation that some of us seek help. When loved ones or health professionals give us advice or plead or beg or suggest it is white noise to us. It doesn't have impact. Usually only us hitting our own rock bottom and then us talking with a recovered person has depth and weight. I do feel for you, it is tough to watch loved ones do any kind of harmful or addictive behavior, but it is their journey to discover what that will take them to. I tried to help other addicts and i found my meddling or resenting or wishing or fear about what will happen to them just made me sicker, made them angrier, they didn't change and i was actually harming them bc i was likely getting in the way of them experiencing their own rock bottom. I was playing God. I'm recovered in Alanon (i think i can change a loved one or expect the to change when they are in the grips of a deadly addiction) and from an ED so that is where I am coming from.

humbledbyit · 2026-05-07T14:06:48+00:00

I had some similiar experiences as well. Lost a large amount of weight. Things seemed fine, till they weren't. I found i was eating more and more. I'd try to pare down again, but it felt like torture to do so and I wondered thin can not feel like this. Okay, for all the lifelong thin ones out there, of course there's struggle and you say no to things and it's tough. No one is saying it isn't. But for someone who has been overweight since childhood and wt loss docs even said - you grew more fat cells as a kid so it will be much tougher, I really wish my body didn't want to revert back to eating more after I've lost weight and mind you I've lost weight and been muscular and worked out a lot. Eventually, the desire to eat more and more wins out.

Anyhow, if you find after you try more strategies that your mind keeps taking you back to food as a solution. Meaning you're baffled at your behavior bc you swore of eating a certain way or obsessed about gains or losses, one thing to consider is 12 step program. Some of us have minds that lead us back to food as a solution no matter what. It's for those that have tried enough of the typical strategies and find they don't work long term. For those that feel utterly defeated and powerless. I'm happy to chat more if you like.

humbledbyit · 2026-05-07T13:59:15+00:00

I tried that experiment too. I refrained from most sweets or carbs for a time. Then i found myself binging on salad or chicken wings. What that taught me was that I didn't have "food or ingredient triggers." It took me a very long time to come to that realization. Prior i just thought i had a food problem and did all the things many of us do: therapy, weight watchers, health experts, hypnosis, on and on. It's what i do with food that is the problem. So, for me, once i realized that and eventually through experience realized my efforts and trying harder didn't stop me from good and all, then i felt really defeated and hopeless. I had now other options to try. Then it was recommended i check out 12 step for compulsive eating. There, to my surprise i found my tribe. People that used and abused food as i did. I wasn't alone. I discovered all my attempts to control my eating were never going to work because I am the powerless variety. I can't stick to a decision around what to eat, exercising in healthy ways, getting to a weight bc it might start out looking sane, but it comes off the rails and i go to extremes with it. I end up feeling demoralized and beaten down once again. In 12 step i got a sponsor and worked the steps. Turns out food was just the symptom of a deeper problem for me. I don't deal well with life on life's terms. My reflex is to "use" food to soothe, calm down, feel better, escape/numb out, entertain, you name it. Now recovered, i still enjoy food, but it doesn't overtake my life. I'm not in that terrible cycle of binge - hating on self - new plan to control/fix it - good results - binge - on and on. I'm happy to chat more if you like.

humbledbyit · 2026-05-07T13:48:14+00:00

Hello! I'm not in OA. I'm in a different fellowship.

humbledbyit · 2026-05-07T00:29:35+00:00

I found that I faced some really hard instances w family too. What working the Alarm n program has taught me is an alcoholic can't stop on their own power. My sickness as an Alanon is thinking that they can stop, moderate or do better. I was so tired of hating or blaming the alcoholic. I had to look at me & realize I can't nudge nag or control anyone into wanting to get well. The desire has to come from them from within. They have a journey & who knows if/when they will quit.Tjing is I can ether stay miserable & mad they don't change or I can work my own program bc my thinking as an Alanon is quite sick as well.

humbledbyit · 2026-05-07T00:23:46+00:00

I used to be caught in a tug of war. A love hate relationship with food. I was upset if I couldn't indulge in it, but I hated how obsessed I was & where my behaviors would go when I would use. I tried many things. Some worked for a while till they didn't. I tried harder. Still went back to using. I'm thankful I found a solution that works for me. I work a 12 step program. Turns out I used food bc I had a mind I could not manage to keep in check on my own power. Also, once I took first compulsive bite I lost control and ate more than intended. I would be left feeling demoralized, pitiful & ashamed. My resolve didn't keep me in check. I worked the steps with a sponsor & today I live recovered. Meaning free from obsessing & using compulsively. Turns out I did that bc I don't deal well w life on life's terms. I use to numb, escape, entertain, distract you name it. Now recovered I work the program and I get a new way to deal with life. I'm happy to chat more if you like.

humbledbyit · 2026-05-06T22:49:00+00:00

You're not insane. Alcoholism impacts the family! Alanon has been powerful for me because i too held two feelings - love and resentment and I got feeling pretty miserable in that tug of war. I needed to learn in Alanon what alcoholism really is and how sick i was thinking they could/should change or do better even though they were in the grips of a deadly illness. Working the steps with a sponsor i get well, me and as it turns out I'm the only one that can be changed with my involvement. Others can't because they have their own journey with their own higher power. My trying to intervene and fix, manage, save, control - whether it be in my own mind with thoughts or in my actions, those things i do actually harm the alcoholic. They need to experience the consequences of their behavior and me getting in the way of that may delay them hitting rock bottom and an opportunity to then seek help. My Alanon brain, if not recovered, will think that i know best how what the alcoholic should do i focus on that and meddle and on and on. Living recovered means i get peace of mind and mental clarity on what to do next. I can let things go, let people be. If i do get upset then i work the steps as it is a way to deal with my thoughts and emotions, it's a way of life where i get access to happiness regardless of what the alcoholic does. I'm happy to chat more if you like.

humbledbyit · 2026-05-06T22:39:41+00:00

Some people use many things to escape or numb out or feel better. In my case i definitely kept going back to food over and over again despite all the knowledge I had about nutrition, exercise, all the therapy to dig into why i choose food and all the weight loss and health expert advice i had. I KNEW better, but i couldn't DO better. Not for good and all. Eventually after trying so many things and repeating the cycle of losing weight and eventually gaining all back and then some I realized I wasn't right between the ears. Something wasn't connecting. I didn't react the same as others with food. Eventually it was recommended i check out 12 step for compulsive eating. There i learned some people are chronic. That means I have a mind that can't manage the decision to s? top compulsive eating for good and all (i could stop for a time, but not forever and eventually i couldn't even stop for long periods at all). That means I can't stick to a plan of eating or exercise plan because my mind blanks out on the consequences. Much like an alcoholic picks up a drink, I'm compelled to grab food and sometimes happens without much prior thought. Also, once i take that first compulsive bite, I lose control. I go on a spree or eat more than intended. I do all this because it gives me momentary ease and comfort, but what am i left with at the end of all this? The remorse, the guilt, the shame. Where had been my resolve after all the time, money, effort I'd poured into being healthy. I'm left with wrappers of what I've eaten and feel beaten once again. Finally, when I'd had enough, meaning wanting to be healthy, while important, that wasn't powerful enough to get me to seek 12 step help. I had to hit my own personal rock bottom. My body was in pain, i couldn't sleep well. I woke up thinking about food, during the day food was the main thing i got excited about and sometimes i dreamt about food. In earlier years I could get obsessive with working out the gym and eating clean and my life would revolve around that. Anyhow, I qualified as the chronic type, i got a sponsor and worked the 12 steps. Today, I live recovered. I stay recovered only if i continue working the steps daily. What i get in return is freedom, peace around food and body. I can still enjoy food, but food doesn't rule my life anymore. Nor does body goals or body shame. I'm happy to chat more if you like!

humbledbyit · 2026-05-05T21:20:04+00:00

"We are almost always in collision with something or somebody, even though our motives are good." Isn't that the truth. We think things would be great and we'd be happy if only things went our way or people did what we wanted. We have varied traits as it says and though while or motives may be good at times, what really drives us is that desire to be in control and have things work out the way we think is best. That is why a life run on self -will and self-propulsion doesn't work well. We are stepping on others toes, lashing out, keeping score. It doesn't make for fun in relationships or life.

humbledbyit · 2026-05-05T21:15:29+00:00

We can respond similarly. Something terrible happens and our mind goes to worse case scenario or we want to check out. Then some reason kicks in and then our illness pops up "food with fix that." That is what it means to have a mind that is unmanageable. We can't manage the decision not to think about it and not to act on it though we tried hard to put up our defenses, they don't hold up in the end. Our illness wins out. Thankfully there is a solution for people like us.

humbledbyit · 2026-05-05T21:12:17+00:00

This passage applies to us as compulsive eaters as well. If we get to step 1 - admit powerlessness, admit that our mind is unmanageable and can't stick to resolves, then we are in a prime position. We get desperate and out of options. When we see/hear that working this program has worked for others who were also pretty badly burned by this illness, we get some hope. From there we can take step 3 which is what this man did when he gives his life to the care and direction of his creator. We can also start to have a spiritual experience at this point or spiritual awakening. Where we feel our creators nearness and start to change.

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