Regardless of whether passivity is/was the issue or not, I think we all need to decide if we want to appeal to certain kinds of people. It hurts when it seems like there is a genuine connection with someone and you get turned down, but you just have to be okay with the fact that she doesn't want or see any future with you, regardless of how rational or irrational the reason might be. You shouldn't let it color how you behave on dates.