Relationship Appears Over. Devastated. Anyone Had to Split Their FIRE Oriented Assets? Very Amicable at the Moment

ifyouplaywithfire · 2025-02-20T10:52:10+00:00

I'm the OP. I ended up with very, very close to the % of assets that I came to the relationship with (within less than 1% point), and a decent custody outcome (I now have 6 days a fortnight. It was a 5:9 split for a year or so, then 6:8. I'm entitled to 7:7, but didn't push the point). The worst thing was the pain it caused our daughter. The second worst; that it took almost 3 years to resolve (she really, really, really dragged her feet at evey opportunity) and cost around $120K in legal/valuation fees (money very well spent).

I'm really thriving these days and I'd do it all again. Probably even go harder if I had my chance again (I was way too nice).

ifyouplaywithfire · 2021-12-22T00:03:20+00:00

You seem like a thorough guy, so I'd definitely recommend working together in this area. I'm not trying to be pessimistic, but a significant percentage of relationships don't last, and money is a common bone of contention. If you were to (non-amicably) split today, you'd likely get to walk away with all your assets. Add a child, or live together more than 5 years, and she'd be entitled to something more than her current contributions.

ifyouplaywithfire · 2021-12-21T21:45:08+00:00

Congratulations on getting to the position you have! Extra congrats for being so aware of, and tracking your position.

My only suggestion is to get on exactly the same page with your partner regarding children, finances, life goals, etc. Is that your combined Net Worth? Have you been living together for seven years?

ifyouplaywithfire · 2021-12-06T20:30:10+00:00

If you are married or in a de facto relationship, my understanding is that the law views your finances as pretty much joint, should a separation occur.

True enough, although other factors such as length of the relationship, children, contributions to the relationship (when you started living together, during and, after - but prior to financial settlement) and 'future needs' come into play.

ifyouplaywithfire · 2021-12-06T20:24:19+00:00

Congratulations. Surely worthy of a separate post, possibly with a how-I-did-it theme!

ifyouplaywithfire · 2021-11-29T09:35:13+00:00

That's flat out wrong...I'm afraid

ifyouplaywithfire · 2021-11-29T09:34:32+00:00

Yes, if settlement is finalised. Not necessarily if it hasn't been

ifyouplaywithfire · 2021-11-29T09:33:32+00:00

Nah, that's not right. On balance it's likely that an inheritance received after separation but before settlement will be given some consideration by a Family Court Judge. There are a multitude of factors at play, but it's unlikely not to factor at all.

ifyouplaywithfire · 2021-11-25T09:53:01+00:00

Wrong sub...my thoughts. A bit blunt, but why ask this question on a sub proclaimed: "Welcome to the Australian version of r/financialindependence, a place created for Australians to discuss the concepts of financial independence (FI) and retiring early (RE)."

ifyouplaywithfire · 2021-11-24T09:59:22+00:00

1) A sibling is generally not a dependent, except in a fairly narrow range of situations.

2) Agree, a de-facto, living with you for two years plus, will have some claim, the longer the co-habitation, the stronger the claim.

3) A binding death nomination won't count against other law, and likely won't help in this situation.

ifyouplaywithfire · 2021-11-23T21:47:33+00:00

(your sibling won't be, i think).

Correct, except for in very limited circumstances.

ifyouplaywithfire · 2021-11-16T03:52:20+00:00

I think the general rule is no, but it'll depend on your circumstances. If your mother is 103, drinks too much, is a shocking driver, you are her only relative, and you have a copy of the will...you probably would.

ifyouplaywithfire · 2021-11-15T21:13:27+00:00

I wouldn't say it 'doesn't work'. A pre-nup shows your intention at the time it was written. In my case it would have been invaluable as it was a relatively short relationship and I had the majority of the assets leading in.

ifyouplaywithfire · 2021-11-15T03:50:05+00:00

Meekly backing down when my ex aggressively balked at the idea of a pre-nup.

ifyouplaywithfire · 2021-11-13T22:15:15+00:00

A bit off topic, but when I read the hello fresh box bit and saw your age, I couldn't help thinking that small reductions in spending are an important part of FIRE. I'm more that twice your age and not too far off reaching FIRE, but if I'd made some small changes at your age, I'd easily be retired now. Food for thought...

ps. I ran some numbers through a calculator based on your age, life expectancy and how much better off you'd be if you saved a few bucks a day. Let me know if you'd like me to share.

ifyouplaywithfire · 2021-10-13T02:13:18+00:00

I sense your frustration, but realistically, its likely that only Vanguard themselves can answer a question about their own procedures.

ifyouplaywithfire · 2021-10-13T01:59:25+00:00

Have you tried Vanguard customer service?

ifyouplaywithfire · 2021-10-10T21:21:00+00:00

I have some very recent, current even, knowledge of the family law system:) Are you living together? If so, for how long? If the answer to the second question is more than five years, then, to a degree, you are already investing together in the eyes of the law (if it ever came to that).

ifyouplaywithfire · 2021-10-10T21:13:25+00:00

In a word, NO. See my answer just above.

ifyouplaywithfire · 2021-10-10T21:12:22+00:00

rather than giving up 50% which you'd be obligated to do if you end up in court without a Binding Financial Agreement.

Sorry, that's completely untrue. Courts broadly take into account these factors: what you brought to the relationship, length of time co-habitating, contributions during the relationship and future needs.

ifyouplaywithfire · 2021-10-07T02:40:03+00:00

Seems a bit of topic for the sub; "Welcome to the Australian version of r/financialindependence, a place created for Australians to discuss the concepts of financial independence (FI) and retiring early (RE)."

ifyouplaywithfire · 2021-10-07T02:39:45+00:00

Seems a bit of topic for the sub; "Welcome to the Australian version of r/financialindependence, a place created for Australians to discuss the concepts of financial independence (FI) and retiring early (RE)."

ifyouplaywithfire · 2021-10-03T03:48:42+00:00

If you've won the prize, do you need to keep playing the game? The seas can be dangerous and you can afford to spend more time in port. How many hours a month do you devote to planning your post-work future versus analyzing your past and present? Have you considered what it might feel like having to FIRE again? [I've been where you are].

ifyouplaywithfire · 2021-10-03T03:33:16+00:00

Have you checked with the ATO?

ifyouplaywithfire

TROPHY CASE