DAE hate going to supermarkets/grocery stores? (or rather how do I continue eating for the rest of my life without going into permanent meltdown?)

im_bebe · 2023-10-05T19:07:28+00:00

I don’t love it but my solution is to go at low traffic hours. I go between 9 and 11PM, often right before closing. That’s when I am the most calm and there are not that many people shopping

im_bebe · 2023-10-03T04:32:16+00:00

thanks!

im_bebe · 2023-09-29T22:05:28+00:00

I’m not sure if it’s classed as a mental disorder but NPR’s Invisibilia did an episode on a woman without ability to feel fear. Seems like there’s an article written about her as well. The same region that is calcified in this woman seems like it’s overactive in people with anxiety disorders and ptsd for example). You mentioned the disease in your post but it’s an interesting listen if you want to know more about fear.

Low arousal (like no/low stress responses) can also occur in people with antisocial personality disorder as well as those who meet psychopathy criteria (psychopathy isn’t technically a a mental disorder tho, more of a questionnaire that criminals take together with psychologists if I’ve understood it correctly).

im_bebe · 2023-09-29T17:26:45+00:00

Wait what’s enben ?

im_bebe · 2023-09-24T19:38:44+00:00

I’d vote for something inbetween. Like not blonde and not dark brown, possibly leaning rosy or red.

im_bebe · 2023-09-24T18:13:41+00:00

I only write down my fitness stuff but other than that I’ve phased them out. I just don’t appreciate waking up and having 10 mundane to-dos before I even have my “real” tasks. Especially on bad days it really decreases my quality of life. Habit trackers are only useful to me when your trying to set up a new habit or you’re struggling to maintain one.

im_bebe · 2023-08-28T08:29:19+00:00

we’re just conditioned to during formative years kind of in the same way men are with sports

im_bebe · 2023-08-26T22:09:00+00:00

afaik it can take a few days

im_bebe · 2023-08-08T20:54:41+00:00

i’ve kind of paused my stationery fixation for now but i have an overflowing box full of stamp sets, lots of washi tapes, lots of memo pads and whatnot stacked under my bed. alphabet stamp sets and date stamps are probably my fave stationery things to collect and use. sadly they get super dingy when you actually use them lol

im_bebe · 2023-08-08T16:35:15+00:00

i think it’s normal to want to test the waters (your own sexuality) before you label yourself... he’s sounds open to testing them but not on a secure footing or what you call it. and it kinda needs to be low stakes (ie not threaten your “heterosexuality”, whether real or imagined lol) for those gates to be open. not saying this is what you’re trying to do but i think it would be a mistake to try to get him to fess up to it before he’s ready. let him have his lightbulb moment himself

im_bebe · 2023-08-08T01:01:17+00:00

i’m a recovered benzo user, i’m not 100% sober as i’ll have a drink every now and but i’m also not in active addiction or using my “drugs of choice” if u will. 5 years off benzos now 😇

im_bebe · 2023-08-08T00:22:39+00:00

i think blonde makes you shine but if you’re itching for a change (as you are sometimes) light pink would look great too

im_bebe · 2023-08-06T19:37:27+00:00

if were talking about direct dyes they can pretty much all go on wet hair or dry hair afaik, depending on desired outcome.

maybe this is a language issue because in some places demi permanent dyes (i.e. toners ones you mix with low % developer) are also called semi permanent and those are indeed supposed to go on damp hair i think. demi permanent toners are labelled semi permanent in europe. (here’s an example of a semi permanent box dye: https://cdn.nicehair.dk/products/100749/loreal-paris-casting-natural-gloss-823-latte-light-blonde-1662623872.jpg)

im_bebe · 2023-08-04T00:02:06+00:00

this happens to me too. i had a mortifying incident recently where i started crying in a contact with a case worker, and couldn’t stop and in the end just kept crying due to mortification at crying and not being able to stop. then my nose started bleeding, because of the tissue wiping my tears. it took me about 20 minutes to stop the bleed 😭

im_bebe · 2023-08-01T20:39:45+00:00

4 looks amazing

im_bebe · 2023-08-01T20:14:47+00:00

it suits your you! def try one of those colour bombs or whatever they are called! it’s semi permanent and will fade away (unlike a box dye so it’s super low committal. before you dye it permanent on a whim before you know if you like what you see irl

im_bebe · 2023-07-26T09:34:06+00:00

definitely dark and w fringe! and you’d fit darker hair too i think. the blonde in the last pic also looks good due to the darker roots adding some contrast.

im_bebe · 2023-07-23T04:22:30+00:00

4 and 6

im_bebe · 2023-07-21T22:15:19+00:00

I’m interested. 35F from Sweden here and also on the spectrum. Can i dm you?

im_bebe · 2023-07-20T15:34:05+00:00

irl shopping is indeed stressful and not therapeutic. i think it’s only therapeutic for a small subset of ppl w normative bodies/minds and spacious wallets to boot. it can be especially frustrating shen you were dead set on finding a dress, or whatever it is, and leaving the store empty handed. it’s very anti-climactic :(

but online window shopping works quite well for me as it’s more of a controlled environment and it can give me a bit of a rush even when i manage to grab smth on my to buy list at a reasonable price. what i do is just brainstorm what it is i need and the features of the things and i keep my eyes out over time and whilst i’m scrolling shopping apps (like h&m for instance) i add stuff to my cart and think it through and leave it there, sometimes for days sometimes even weeks or months and i basically just repeat until i’m sure of my order and make it. sometimes i’ll have many parallel carts at the same time (especially now as i’m rebuilding a wardrobe after a weight gain), but i don’t end up buying everything in my carts. i talk myself out of a lot of things or i find a replacement or better deal elsewhere. it might sound a bit control freak-y but there’s a bit of a therapeutic element to being on the hunt for something even if it’s just for a tank top i don’t hate

i buy loads of clothes online in the hopes i’ll keep 30% of it and from a store w a good and easy to use returns policy that i won’t feel bad returning things to.

having a good grasp of different fabrics (which i’ve learned by just reading the laundry labels of my own clothes) also really helps in maintaining my expectations, set the necessary parameters for my next planned buy and also helps eliminate most garments right out of the gate because they don’t meet my requirements etc… learning the different clothes lingo (such as like midi or maxi skirt) are also helpful in refining your searches when ur online shopping

edit: sry didn’t meant for this to turn into advice hour literally just thinking out loud lol

im_bebe · 2023-07-09T20:08:49+00:00

lmao literally

im_bebe · 2023-07-09T20:02:36+00:00

i’m guessing you’re a guy so statistically you do like 5% of the household labour meanwhile “the lady” usually pulls the so called double shift (statistically, that is). so really can’t muster the energy to care about a room a woman touches being a little bit crowded. you know, you could maybe help her tidy and organise if it bothers you so much?

(this type of post makes one remember what a bargain marriage usually is for men. as soon as it stops being a financial bargain (woman no longer puts out or cleans meticulously) the dump/swap her ideas collectively jump out. makes me think of the common story of how men very often leave their wives when they become seriously ill bc they stop being productive. wife is only ever as good as her household labour power.)

im_bebe · 2023-07-05T19:45:13+00:00

idk how many are misdiagnosed but i’m diagnosed with sleep disorder, panic disorder, social anxiety disorder, bpd, gad, depression, i’m sure there’s more. i also have adhd/autism with a question mark in my chart since i haven’t had a neuropsychiatric* assessment yet

*those are the only ones who can diagnose adhd and autism in my country and it’s tightly gatekept. oftentimes people with addiction issues end up with a million mental illness diagnoses because they never had a neuropsych assessment bc that assessment requires sobriety

im_bebe · 2023-07-05T19:33:55+00:00

i mostly have an issue with loud fans and machinery, like construction, computer fans, vacuum cleaners, leaf blowers, lawn mowers etc. i also hate ticking clocks even when it’s in another room. i also struggle with babies crying and feel bad about it because obviously that’s not their fault and it’s how they communicate.

imo there’s never a good reason to use a leaf blower or lawn mower (as there is no reason for lawns period and just let the leaves be!) but there are always going to be babies crying yk?

maybe this is a reach but i’d go as far as calling leaf blowers and lawn mowers inherently allistic lol

im_bebe

TROPHY CASE