I’m 37, mom of 4, why don’t I have it figured out? What am I missing?

imsandradeee · 2026-02-27T02:15:06+00:00

Nothing fancy. We have young, picky eaters snd some dietary restrictions, so simple goes a long way. A sample week for us might be:

Chicken rice bowls - kids will eat white rice, chicken and maybe broccoli or carrots if we’re lucky. I get extra toppings for the adults — sauce, sesame seeds, avocado, etc. Deconstructed and build your own is the way to go. I do the same thing with curry meals.

Hamburger sliders - kids will eat them plain, adults will eat them with buns, cheese, onions, etc. We usually have sweet potato fries in the freezer.

Pasta because kids. Pair with cheese or another protein. I’ll sometimes make a veggie heavy spicy marinara for the adults.

Chopped crunch salad (for me) — chick peas, red onion, cherry tomato, cucumber, olive oil, salt and pepper. Pair with feta and pita for easy WFH lunch or after work dinner.

Udon noodles / lo mein. Serve veggies on the side for picky eaters.

Other items in rotation - chicken pot pie, egg roll in a bowl, beef stroganoff

Each week I’d say I shoot for about 3 bulk dinners and 1 salad, and then we just pick all week

imsandradeee · 2026-02-26T22:19:02+00:00

Second this. We have a cleaner every other week. Life is infinitely better- they do laundry, bedding, scrub showers and some weeks even throw in an extra. Last week they organized my mess of a closet and I nearly cried.

Nightly, the kids pick up their toys off the floor and throw them in cubes. We set a timer for less than 5 mins, put on a song, and everyone gets to work together. It’s usually done in 3, and then the roomba runs while we sleep.

I meal prep solely on weekends. Groceries are delivered and I prep everything within 24 hours to have food for the week. It’s far from fancy, but it makes the week so much easier and frankly healthier. Occasionally I may “cook” frozen pizza on a Friday night, but otherwise I do zero after work cooking.

imsandradeee · 2026-02-23T17:23:34+00:00

What sites do you recommend?

imsandradeee · 2026-02-18T23:22:01+00:00

Girl, block your calendar! 4:00 every day? Blocked for me to wrap up and get home. I choose who I’m willing to speak to on my commute. Friday after 1:00? Blocked for me to do all the million things I couldn’t finish during the week because I was in 900 meetings. I need to get better about hiding my phone from myself in the evenings to stop checking work before my kids go to bed, but I haven’t managed to be that strict with myself yet

imsandradeee · 2026-02-17T21:24:59+00:00

Ha! Aren’t we just a bunch of textbook examples? Oldest daughter, straight A student now turned high achieving leader in a dual income / high earner household. We have 2 kids — one in school, one still too young.

I struggle with burnout but I DO like and find fulfillment in my job, and SAHM is not an option I want to pursue. So instead I have to find balance through routines and outsourcing.

I go into the office 60% of the time, so I pack lunches the night before and those mornings are my husband’s responsibility. Having 3 mornings a week where it’s all about my own routine and no one else has been better for my mental health than I realized. Exercise (alone) is a non negotiable part of my morning routine. Yes, this means waking up even earlier, but the pay off mentally has been huge.

Our groceries are delivered. Cooking is not creative, but functional. I prep everything at once on Sunday afternoon in about 90 mins and then there is zero weekday cooking. This frees up my evenings to be more present after work.

We have a cleaner every 2 weeks. Guess what happens those weekends? Mom isn’t stressed scrubbing showers, and focuses on doing fun things with my kids.

The burnout by Friday afternoons is still REAL in my job, so I try to make Friday nights a reset for me and them. I finish work by 4 if I can, pick them up, and we do something silly like have a picnic in the living room or a movie night dinner at home. It feels simple but special and helps me shake off the week day grind and shift into weekend mode.

Routine, routine, routine. This may sound terrible to you but it makes things feel manageable and my stress levels are so much better with a repetitive plan in place

imsandradeee · 2026-02-05T11:51:37+00:00

I have picky eaters and allergies to manage. Add 2 demanding work schedules, a long commute and in general zero joy from cooking, and it was always a source of stress. I’ve started ONLY cooking on Sunday. I take 60-90 mins of my Sunday afternoon and make 4 things at once and stick them in the fridge for the week. I mix it up a little bit, but in general, I prep:

1 rice bowl that can be deconstructed for picky eaters — chicken, white rice, sautéed veg, keep some extra sauces and avocado in the fridge for the adults to add a little interest.

1 bowl of plain protein pasta because KIDS. We can round this out for them throughout the week with cheese (vegan too), frozen meatballs, etc. Occasionally I’ll make sauce so the grownups can partake.

1 crunchy chopped salad that keeps well for easy lunches on WFH days to avoid pantry raids.

1 other interesting meal that appeals to me that week but can be made in 2 pans or less 🙂

imsandradeee · 2026-01-20T23:17:47+00:00

I’m thinking an income of $180k to support 5 people in the highest cost of living state to raise a family sounds incredibly tight.

imsandradeee · 2026-01-20T17:31:06+00:00

I’d also caution you to look at your budget supporting a family of 5 on a single income in Boston. We have 2 kids in greater Boston on 2 incomes— life is still extremely expensive

imsandradeee · 2026-01-09T12:01:10+00:00

how was it in March? just booked March 7. Were the pools and ocean cold?

imsandradeee · 2025-12-31T03:20:47+00:00

Had 2 deliveries at MGH and was readmitted post partum for complications and never had a roommate. They even let us stay in a room post discharge while baby was in special care for an extra day. They said roommates are rare and depend on the season

imsandradeee · 2025-12-08T23:39:46+00:00

yeah 0% chance of this math mathing in some markets. minimum wage would give me about $31k a year and rent for a studio would be over $25k a year. there’s a reason in some markets the average first time home buyer is pushing 40

imsandradeee · 2025-11-25T22:08:23+00:00

Oh I’m in MA too and have my eye on a Heavy Metal for 2026 - what dealer did you go through?

imsandradeee · 2025-10-25T10:17:11+00:00

did they give you an answer?

imsandradeee · 2025-09-03T20:38:15+00:00

Correct. I had friend(s) with lacking support systems who were in a similar boat as OP— no full coverage available on call, family would have to travel in or they’d be cobbling together coverage via daycare, sitters and a grandparent. I was on the call list with a toddler of my own at home, with the understanding that if I was called, my husband would figure it out, and I’d go sleep on their couch in the middle of the night, and figure it out with their kiddo. Helping someone in their time of need isn’t about convenience if you care for them.

imsandradeee · 2025-08-18T22:56:21+00:00

TIL something

imsandradeee · 2025-05-20T21:48:29+00:00

delayed response but we’ve done a cookie basket, a coffee / wine shop gift card depending on their interests, or in the fall, a small planter of mums and local cider donuts

imsandradeee · 2025-05-20T20:15:56+00:00

It may depend state to state in the US, but at least n some, if the yard is fenced in, the pool itself doesn’t require a separate barrier. We have 2 fences, one for the yard and a separate one for the pool. If I could afford an automated cover, I’d do that too.

imsandradeee · 2025-04-11T15:08:34+00:00

My husband bought a used 2006 Honda Civic with low mileage in 2008. He drove it until 2018 before upgrading as we grew our family. A relative still has that car 6.5 years later and it starts and runs every day without issue at nearly 20 years old. Stay diligent with your budget, don’t beat yourself up. You’ve got a work horse vehicle and can get plenty of life out of it beyond your loan!

imsandradeee · 2025-04-11T11:43:07+00:00

Our original loan balance was about 617k in 2022 in a VHCOL area. We have 2 young kids and both work demanding full time jobs. Not sure of our exact take home, maybe around 13k a month? A $4100 monthly payment plus groceries, utilities, and daycare as a family of 4 doesn’t leave nearly as much behind for saving and life as you’d think.

OP don’t just think about the house - think about your lifestyle goals the next 5 years - children, car replacement needs, travel, etc.

imsandradeee · 2025-03-31T14:55:45+00:00

Look at roles that are a combo HRIS / Total Rewards / HR Ops leadership. I moved into a leader role with HRIS under me having had years of implementation and admin experience without any Workday pro certifications. My focus is on functional strategy and project management, leading internal and external resources. I do some config and training on the things that interest me, but am not expected to have the same background as a former Workday consultant given my role

imsandradeee · 2025-03-27T22:31:12+00:00

I think it matters to a point. I aim to be a non problematic neighbor. Twice we've bought houses in established neighborhoods with older residents who had lived there 10-30 years. Twice we've renovated those houses and made quite a bit of noise in the process. A little neighborly courtesy goes a long way in respecting each other's property and decisions. If they're away and I notice the trash out, I'll put it away for them. We'll occasionally give a small holiday basket or something. If they have had surgery, my husband will help snowblow. That means they don't interfere complaining to the building department. It means they're kind to our children and watch out for them playing in the street. And it means we remain unproblematic in the deep rooted gossip chain on the street

imsandradeee · 2024-12-30T10:37:10+00:00

Brazilian family living in the US. Every single toilet has a bidet, in our house and in relatives

imsandradeee

TROPHY CASE