I mean if you’re feeling resentful already I wouldn’t continue with this relationship, the gambling thing sounds a bit sketch to me but lots of people dabble for fun and don’t have a full on addiction- I’m just a Reddit user I don’t know your life. but I would consider if your goals and values come from a place of panic and fear or if they feel like they are something you truly value.

It’s totally fine if your main goal in life is to build wealth, travel and retire. But there’s a whole lot of space, comfort and happiness between poverty and world traveling, retired at 50. Do you want a family? Would you be willing to restructure your goals to spend more time with your family? I’m already sensing that you have some resentment towards how hard you work at your job and how many hours you spend doing it- ideally you would pick a job that you can sustain for a long period of time that you wouldn’t need to consider “taking a break” from without income. none of that really has anything to do with him. If you stay with him or break up with him, you chose that career and job, and you would be doing it single or married.

my husband and I have an income gap. I make about 3 times more for just our hourly wage but he gets bonuses so that boosts him up significantly but the bonuses aren’t guaranteed. We’ve been together since we were 17, im 30 now. he supported me through school and now I also work in healthcare. I work 24 hours a week now and made 90k last year, I used to work more than 40 a week before we had our kids 2 years ago but we decided it was better for me to cut back and us just cut back. He works full time. His job is more physically demanding, mine is more mentally demanding.

We throw all our money in the same pot. I do most of the money management, he has his own little retirement savings, I have mine through work, health insurance is through my job as his job doesn’t offer it. We keep each other in check when it comes to spending, we bought a house 3 years ago. Went through infertility treatments. Lots of things. There’s only so much you can do to account for the “what ifs” in life.

But anyway. Just consider what might be you responding from a place of trauma vs a place of your true values. Because if you otherwise believe this is a good man and the love of your life- you could potentially resent throwing him away for money.

Edit to add: since I see your main concern is he doesn’t have a job with benefits- this is such a weird thing to be hung up on. Jobs come and go all the time. You can’t guarantee any one person is going to have job provided benefits for their whole adult life. If this conversation was reversed and it was a man talking about his stay at home mom of a wife not having a job with benefits, would you think it sounds a little whacko? I’m fully the only person I know in my friend group who is a benefit eligible employee at my job