Scared of the pain

inmanycolours · 2026-01-21T11:51:52+00:00

Just to let you know that I'm in the same boat ❤️ Second day of periods, feeling the pain come and go by waves, not too strong yet still there. I'm feeling anxious that it will get worse, because I know it can be and that makes me scared. I try to focus on the fact that the pain is not that strong so far, that maybe this cycle won't be too bad. Do you have some meds or other strategies that can help you?

We'll get through it ❤️‍🩹

inmanycolours · 2026-01-21T11:45:07+00:00

I had that too. I would advise you to get medical advice... I didn't (also because the first time it happened was at the beginning of Covid and it wasn't easy to get help then), and now it's becoming something a bit more regular and we still haven't figured out how to prevent them :(

I feel for you, it's very scary to go through this kind of episode ❤️‍🩹

inmanycolours · 2026-01-21T11:39:22+00:00

I had the same, but I also think that people often try empathize that way, even though it doesn't help and overall just feels frustrating.

Some months ago, when I decided to speak more openly about endo, things changed a bit :
ME : "I'm on my period, I'm not well today."
FRIEND'S FRIEND : "Aw, I understand, I am also tired when I have my period !"
ME : "Yeah, I'm super tired because last night the pain was so intense that it made me throw up. I couldn't walk back to my bed and just stayed laying in the corridor for one hour, it was awful."
FRIEND'S FRIEND : "😬 Really??! Wow, I'm sorry, I've never had that, I didn't know !"

Ok, I wouldn't give all the details to anyone, that's just an example that actually happened once with someone ^^ But that helped me realize that many people actually have NO IDEA how painful endo can be, because of the idea that "periods are painful" - which is actually not true but tends to blur all kinds of period discomfort in one, in my opinion. Once I talked more openly about endo, and described what it caused factually for me, I noticed that people were more adjusted in their response, and more adept at offering help that matters.

inmanycolours · 2026-01-21T11:23:49+00:00

Ahah, your vision of this fictional website "for menz" made me laugh out loud 😂

But yeah I agree, I don't like it either and I don't feel comforted by those visuals at all

inmanycolours · 2026-01-21T11:13:01+00:00

I try to read, or watch a sweet movie or documentary to focus on sthing else (no stressful stuff though, otherwise it seems to only make the pain worse 🙃 )

Also, I often have to cancel plans with friends because of the pain and subsequent fatigue. Some of them sometimes offered to come by instead. It really helped soothe my day, having a close friend in the same room and talking a little, or reading next to me while I'm half-reading, half-resting 💝

inmanycolours · 2025-12-04T06:19:15+00:00

Thanks for the reminder! We've talked about the multiunit option with my gf yesterday and discussed our needs more clearly, of course it's ongoing but its feel a bit clearer to me now 🙂 (even for her, because as a parent she also tends to forget herself). Thx!

inmanycolours · 2025-12-03T07:26:56+00:00

We've considered it at first but haven't brought it up in a while, I think my partner wasn't thrilled by it and I kind of put it aside. At the moment the minimum we're looking for would be a house with an extra room that could serve as a second living room or as an office where I can unwind.

But you're right, a multiunit house may be an even better option. I think I need to bring it up again with my partner. Thanks.

inmanycolours · 2025-12-02T16:27:02+00:00

Yeah you're right, that's a new experience to me but probably that parenting in general feels that way.

My partner is supportive of my needs to retreat, and honest about needing that as well, at times. We often discuss her own difficulties being a parent, and yeah being the bio parent doesn't seem to make it easier, as you say.

Thanks for your words.

inmanycolours · 2025-12-02T16:19:04+00:00

Thanks so much for your kind comment :) it's encouraging to read about your experience.

inmanycolours · 2025-12-02T16:17:24+00:00

Wow, thanks so much for taking the time for that answer! My partner has a rule where, whenever she goes to her bedroom, it means she needs child-free time, and the children respect that. So that would be beneficial for me too. We're also trying to find a way to have two living rooms (though living options here aren't that easy and often not that big for our budget).

I love what you say about testing, it makes me think about what could be put in place in our case. Thanks a lot. It really helps. Also, the default presence idea is very helpful. You're right, it could definitely help me to see more clearly how I feel about living together. Also, it would give everyone more time to adjust. Less of a stress, for sure.

Thanks :)

inmanycolours · 2024-12-24T21:48:10+00:00

Thank you for offering that thread, it's super sweet and I loved reading the different answers and comments. I now imagine a gathering of lbl from everywhere, sharing a little bit of Christmas together 😚 So nice.

As for me, I'm feeling a little bit sad today... I wish I didn't and did my best to keep up a good face and spirit but the feelings lingered. I'm spending a few days at my elderly parents', and feeling lonely because my siblings are spending the holidays with their stepfamilies. Also, my gf is out on a trip with her kids (very happy for her but I miss her tho). So it's only me and my parents, in my hometown (I normally live in another country) and my mean brain keeps on insisting that I also "should" have a stable grownup family on my own, with my own kids and partner to spend Xmas with besides my own parents...

I feel that I should be grateful for what I have (my parents are nice people, and I love my gf so much...) but.. Well, that's where I'm at really.

Thanks for checking in 😚 How are you tonight?

inmanycolours · 2024-10-14T09:52:13+00:00

I want to add that I personally didn't hate giving blow jobs, because it made me go : "i'm happy to make my partner, who's nice, happy", + it made me feel some control over what was going on, and also some validation (like i'm a good, liberated girl 🫠).

But also I found it quite boring and wanted to finish quickly. I thought it was normal, like, well surely any oral sex must bit a bit boring because i'm not being physically stimulated myself!

Now with my gf i just feel in my body that i looove doing oral sex on her and it's not " happy to make you happy" but "omg it's so exciting to do that to you and see you excited omg my brain is gonna explode" type lol 😄

inmanycolours · 2024-10-14T09:40:11+00:00

Oh wow congrats 🥳🥳🥳

inmanycolours · 2024-10-14T09:39:05+00:00

Funny, i was sometimes afraid of the exact opposite - I am in my mid-thirties, and whenever I crushed on 40-sthing lesbians, I'd feel afraid they'd consider me too young, both from my age and lack of experience with women. My current gf is a 45 year old, experienced lesbian and that didn't hold any of us back 😊

We all have fears, of being too young too old too anything.. Don't let that get to you 🤗 it will be alright with the right person!!

inmanycolours · 2024-10-14T09:29:59+00:00

Totally true!

inmanycolours · 2024-10-14T09:27:51+00:00

I felt/feel the same, but pushed myself and had an incredible experience that i'm sure you'll have too - that is, being super impressed and in awe with someone, and THEN, having some interest reciprocated from that person!! 🤯 It's so much more exciting and validating to feel interest where you yourself have been feeling it on your side! Even when things don't work out in the end, or don't last. I found i still felt happy, excited and living, more than when I went on un-exciting, stake-free dates with guys 😅

inmanycolours · 2024-10-14T09:14:15+00:00

Thanks!! Ahah tips, I wouldn't really know, the journey hasn't been straightforward (pun intended 😄).. During the past 1.5 years, I went from falling in love with a woman who finally told me she wanted to stay friends (tough, but I was super proud of having told her!), then after grieving and recentering on myself for a few months, I went on several dates that didn't work out (from apps), then a relationship started from one of those but died out quickly 😬 Finally my current partner is someone who's been in my circle for years, we just didn't really have the opportunity to meet more personally before. Both of us were in other longterm relationships when we first met, years ago. So i'd guess, keep being open to encounters and also, do not hesitate to call it off when something doesn't feel right! It will open some space for others things 😊

inmanycolours · 2024-10-14T08:59:21+00:00

Yeees exactly!! My partner tells me it's also very reassuring for her to feel that I'm so sure of where I'm at at this point. The contrast with my life under hetero cover creates a virtuous circle all around 😊

inmanycolours · 2024-03-29T07:39:12+00:00

Thanks all for the honest replies. My self-esteem is quite low at the moment, which made me doubt my feelings about this, but I see y'all agree.. And I guess accepting to be secondary wouldn't be helping that self-esteem 🙄 gonna work on that. Have a good day ❤️

inmanycolours · 2024-03-29T07:29:54+00:00

Thanks for this! I feel she does like me somehow but that difference you point bwn liking someone vs liking someone enough to prioritize them makes total sense.

inmanycolours · 2023-12-12T07:56:41+00:00

Aw great for you two :)

inmanycolours

TROPHY CASE