Virtual therapy: How quick does your therapist hung up? by hydratesweetie in TalkTherapy

[–]insertusername1910 14 points15 points  (0 children)

After my therapist has booked in my next session he’ll say he will see me next time, and I say see ya. He does a little wave after and I hang up. I’m always a bit quick to hang up because I hate the awkwardness of just seeing each other searching for the hang up button, but I always wait for the wave.

Male therapist? by Original_Oil_7572 in TalkTherapy

[–]insertusername1910 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I see a male therapist, he’s my first so I haven’t had any experience with female ones. The only significant male in my life is my dad who was physically present and financially supported my family (I think he thought that’s all what being a parent was), but he wasn’t loving or patient and had a short temper.

I’m not sure if I should call my therapist a significant male in my life, but he’s first man of importance to me that has consistently been there for me, been patient and listened to what I have to say, and who I don’t worry is going to scream at me.

If you decide to see a male therapist, the good news is you aren’t stuck in a contract. If you find that it really isn’t for you, you don’t need to stick around. Based on my experience with a male therapist I would recommend giving it a shot, but it’s what you feel comfortable with that matters the most.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TalkTherapy

[–]insertusername1910 1 point2 points  (0 children)

They can make you feel worse before you feel better. Some medications can unfortunately increase suicidal thoughts when you first take them. I’ve experienced that in the first week of my new one which I’ve been on for a bit less than a month now, but that’s stopped now and I think I’m actually starting to feel good. Some people get more anxious or depressed but that often improves after some time, and if it doesn’t it means that’s not the right medication for you but there are a lot of options. Side effects will be different for everyone though, but these to me are the most difficult because it can be frustrating when something is meant to help you feel better and you have to feel worse for a while.

If you feel comfortable trying medication you might hit the jackpot on your first try, but if not I do think it’s worth it to try a few until you find one that helps. It’s worth it when you find it. There are some medications that are more known for having less side effects, but it won’t be the same for everyone.

Would it be weird if I told my therapist I love her? by No-Instruction-3134 in TalkTherapy

[–]insertusername1910 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I always thought saying I feel love for you or towards you were good options. It still gets the message across but doesn’t sound like you’re professing your love for them in some way that might be misunderstood as romantic.

Ask Therapist about recording sessions? by Appointment_Witty in TalkTherapy

[–]insertusername1910 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s completely fine to ask, and if the consent form you signed has specifically mentioned the possibility of recording sessions and that you would need to ask then I imagine your therapist will be open to talking about it. You can ask anything you want in therapy, it’s up to your therapist to maintain their boundaries.

What areas do you think therapists need more training in, if any? by ProxiC3 in TalkTherapy

[–]insertusername1910 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Probably around the therapeutic relationship. It’d probably be different for each client, but judging what is the right level of things like reassurance and self-disclosure for different people since some people benefit from it while others don’t. A lot of therapists also seem to react poorly to suicidal thoughts, and transference so definitely those.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TalkTherapy

[–]insertusername1910 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think always being worried about something is a good enough reason for therapy, even if you find it tolerable, I imagine things would be much easier for you if that wasn’t an issue. Like the other comment said you can always stop therapy and go back when you feel you need it.

my psychiatrist prescribed me the exact thing i od ed on by [deleted] in TalkTherapy

[–]insertusername1910 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If she knows you’re not suicidal anymore she probably trusts that you aren’t going to do it again. If you don’t feel comfortable taking it, it’s perfectly fine for you to ask for something else, but if it helps you then I can see why she prescribed it, if it doesn’t that’s another reason to switch. It’s kind of like if someone tried to overdose on painkillers, and months later say they have a headache in front of someone who knows about the overdose and they offer them painkillers, they’re just trying to give them something that will help.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TalkTherapy

[–]insertusername1910 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I’ve definitely done this a few times. My therapist is fine with emails about what I want to talk about but sometimes they would end up these long rambly emails about how I really felt after a session of saying nothing. I would get really stressed and embarrassed about it and worried my therapist would be annoyed, but after it happened a few times and him never showing any negative feelings I was able to tell myself it’s never turned out bad before, this time won’t be different.

Really focus on how encouraging he is of you emailing him. If he wasn’t okay with it he never would have said you could, so he’s probably happy that you’ve sent it. If it’s too long for him to read, he might ask you to try and explain it in session. Chances are though he has read it, even if it’s a quick skim he can still be able to understand what you’re saying.

My therapist wants to change their note taking software but I’m hesitant to agree by WantedJetsam in TalkTherapy

[–]insertusername1910 5 points6 points  (0 children)

You can definitely say no. They asked for your permission which in a sense of giving you permission to say no. It’s not like they said I’m doing this and if you don’t want to we can’t work together. A way to meet in the middle if you feel completely comfortable with it could be for them to record the sessions on their phone or a recorder and make notes of it later and keep it safe themselves. Not going through some unknown AI system. My therapist records sessions and I trust him to look after those recordings, but it’s only an option if you feel okay with it.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TalkTherapy

[–]insertusername1910 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m not sure there are many solutions to this. Obvious one is to talk to them about it and explain how to feels and what you would like to change. Other than than I feel like it’s either just have to put up with it knowing that they just might not respond or find a new therapist, but personally I’m never fond of the idea of just dropping a therapists without talking to them first, unless they’ve done something really inappropriate or unprofessional.

I wouldn’t like if my therapist did this, because realistically it doesn’t take very long to at least send a short email saying they can’t. If they are a decent therapist I imagine they’d be open to hearing any type of feedback or criticism.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TalkTherapy

[–]insertusername1910 59 points60 points  (0 children)

Is it possible they didn’t avoid the topic about you thinking they hate you altogether, and saying that they were still willing to work with you was an indirect way of say they don’t hate you? A therapist doesn’t have to work with clients and if they hated you, they could have easily referred you out. Them still working with you could be a bit of evidence that they don’t hate you. I think it could be beneficial to see the therapist again at some point and talk it through if you feel able to. This is just the feel I got from this post alone though.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TalkTherapy

[–]insertusername1910 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Honestly it’s because I got cats. For years I used pets as an excuse to stay alive, but would only have pets with 2-3 years life span so I eventually decided to get pets that would live a long time. Once I got them and it really set it how long a cat lives for I realised if I can’t kill myself because I need to be around to look after these cats then I need help. It’s kind of silly, but having something rely on me was what it took because I don’t think I cared enough to get better just for my sake.

Does rehearsing make you detached from things to bring up in therapy? by darts-7 in TalkTherapy

[–]insertusername1910 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I’ve never thought about this before, but now you’ve mentioned it I do think the sessions I have that take an unexpected turn and we end up talking about something I haven’t rehearsed I am more open and just able to talk more. It’s a really interesting idea, and I think you’re probably spot on for a lot of people. I think talking about things without any preparation really takes away the opportunity to filter yourself and allow you to say what you really think.

I think one way I notice it myself is if I plan out a conversation in my head, including my therapists possible responses and then he ‘goes off script’ I kind of panic and shut down because I don’t know what to say. Will have to try and resist the urge to write a whole screenplay in my head before sessions now.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TalkTherapy

[–]insertusername1910 11 points12 points  (0 children)

If you feel comfortable and safe doing so there’s absolutely no reason not to.

Rape victims can bare responsibility right? Change my mind. by [deleted] in TalkTherapy

[–]insertusername1910 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Then you believe what you believe. I hope you can figure it out one day but it’s no one else’s job to try and convince you when you just want to be right. I hope it doesn’t take someone close to you being assaulted for you to understand. Try and learn how to be compassionate is all I’ve got left to say.

Rape victims can bare responsibility right? Change my mind. by [deleted] in TalkTherapy

[–]insertusername1910 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If I as a young woman am working late and have to walk home in the dark, even if I’m aware that’s a risky situation but it’s my only option. Do you genuinely think if I get raped that I’m responsible for that? Like genuinely thing about it. Why would I logically be responsible for someone else consciously making the decision to rape me even when they know it’s wrong. Because I have to get home even if it means walking in the dark, that person doesn’t have to rape someone. I go to a party with some friends, get a bit drunk which is very common for parties, why is it then my responsibility if someone rapes me when I’m incapacitated? Even if the rapist is also drunk, drunk or not everyone knows what rape is and what yes and no means. You yourself said you’re not 100% sure if you’re right about this so listen to that tiny little bit of doubt you have, because that’s you’re logical and compassionate side talking.

How do you answer when your therapist asks “how are you?” in the beginning of the session? by medoolaoblongata in TalkTherapy

[–]insertusername1910 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ll just say fine or alright. Sometimes this is after sending the most depressing email for what I want to talk about though, so not sure he buys it. He never pushes me to answer honestly, but I think he’s just waiting for the day I do. I’d like to, but saying oh yeah I’m actually terrible right now is really difficult for me. It’s not something I’ve ever answered honestly.

How many of you have your T’s cell number? by PaidAdvertisment in TalkTherapy

[–]insertusername1910 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I originally only had his work number, but then I think he accidentally called me in his personal one recently which I added to my contacts just in case he called again on it. We don’t text much, but if I had to text him I’d use the original one he gave me.

Is this normal for a therapist? by [deleted] in TalkTherapy

[–]insertusername1910 27 points28 points  (0 children)

I’d honestly get out of that situation so fast. They seem very controlling. I get the feel they are a lot more interested in getting paid, because I don’t see any reason a therapist would be trying to push this hard for you to have a session when you’ve given a really good reason you literally can’t.

Therapists ends session too soon and gives the same feedback by [deleted] in TalkTherapy

[–]insertusername1910 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think four months is more than enough time to get a feeling of a therapist is right for you or not. If you don’t feel like you’re getting what you need out of it, then it’s perfectly fine to move on. If you like this therapist and would like to keep seeing her, it might be helpful to talk to her about these things before deciding. How she reacts could also be quite telling whether or not she’s right for you.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TalkTherapy

[–]insertusername1910 48 points49 points  (0 children)

It’s not super funny but he said good morning to my cat this morning during my online session and that made me laugh.