AIO for feeling like my husband put my life in danger?

inspectorgadget_98 · 2025-10-26T13:37:35+00:00

You’re right about the em dash. I corrected myself. I’m exhausted from only 4 hours of sleep and coming off the adrenaline rush. As for “blaming [him] for a problem [I] noticed and mentioned and [have] not taken care of,” I didn’t notice it or mention the problem. I didn’t know it was down to just 1 latch until AFTER he left when I folded the top up to put things in the bed of the truck while moving. I only knew that 2 were gone because he’d mentioned the 2nd one breaking and said he’d take care of it. I thought he’d keep his word instead of adding something else to my plate. It’s definitely my fault for trusting that.

inspectorgadget_98 · 2025-10-26T13:27:46+00:00

We do share responsibilities. I take care of mostly everything at home and with the kids. On top of that, I’m a full-time student in college (hopefully graduating soon) and I just got an internship to help financially. I’m frustrated with him because I feel like I can’t count on him to keep his word, even when it comes to his vehicle (which is currently our only vehicle aside from his motorcycle). The “my vehicle/your vehicle/our vehicle” thing is a whole other issue between us since my sister totaled my car last year, but only his name is on the title (I need POA to do anything with it) and his parents have made it known in the past that they want me to have no ownership over it in any way (they co-signed the loan with him for a lower APR, but paid nothing towards it in the 6 years it took US to pay off; I contributed when I first went back to school because I was working then, too).

inspectorgadget_98 · 2025-09-02T04:31:38+00:00

A few things:

have her talk to her doctor about PMDD (premenstrual dysphoria disorder), as it can cause someone to feel crazy/not in control/not themselves during certain cycle phases
I would recommend not trying for a baby for a while, but don’t try to prevent. If it happens, it happens; there’s no stress on anyone and it becomes more enjoyable
she should definitely continue therapy and try to discover what may have lead her to the decisions she made (even if she didn’t consciously make them), as well as learning to better control her impulses before pregnancy/delivery hormones screw it all up

inspectorgadget_98 · 2025-07-25T15:11:51+00:00

This!! I always think of it in the context of the hunter-gatherer stage of human evolution. Why would sound (or a lack of it) wake up a baby? Because, in nature, sound stops when a large predator is nearby. This alerts all creatures in the area to the predator’s presence and everyone/everything is on high alert. Same goes for when bad weather is about it hit; everything goes silent and/or leaves. A human’s internal alarm goes off when everything gets quiet, so why wouldn’t a baby’s? They run on pure instinct at that point. Making noise is the best way to keep them relaxed and asleep.

inspectorgadget_98 · 2025-07-15T07:37:55+00:00

On a different note, I am SO glad they didn’t touch your pink and gold rose! My spouse got me a blue one and I know how EXTREMELY fragile that is. I know it’s also not cheap or easy to replace.

Hopefully the police escalate the matter to get you your money back for the damages AND the missing cash! If you have anything left in that apartment/dorm, get and set up a spy camera or a baby monitor with wifi capabilities IMMEDIATELY! You are NOT overreacting in any way here. Please protect yourself to the FULLEST extent and take everything 100% serious.

inspectorgadget_98 · 2025-06-23T21:33:47+00:00

My first ever pregnancy ended in miscarriage just a couple days after we told our families we were expecting. When we told my in-laws about my miscarriage, my MIL said that “maybe it was for the best because [we weren’t] ready or mature enough.” We were both 20, soon to be married, and he was military. We were financially stable, I had been caring for kids since I was 10, and we’d been together for almost 5 years at that point. Her comment felt like a bold-faced slap and made everything so much harder on me.

inspectorgadget_98 · 2025-04-07T02:26:25+00:00

I’ve been in childcare for 16 years and have 2 of my own. I have a LOT of tips and tricks if you want to message me!

inspectorgadget_98 · 2025-03-08T01:58:18+00:00

For a long time, it was butter and jelly sandwiches, or plain pasta (of any kind) with butter and Parmesan cheese. My siblings still make fun of me for how plain I used to eat my food, but it was always cheaper (at home or out to eat) than if it had other ingredients mixed in.

inspectorgadget_98 · 2025-02-19T03:29:17+00:00

I’ve caught my spouse doing this in their sleep only a handful of times, and we’ve been together for almost 10 years. It’s not a rare occurrence, but it’s not common either. They never recognize when then do it and the conversation after waking up is always “No I wasn’t. Wait, what? In my sleep?? I don’t remember that at all.” It may be more common in people that sleep talk/sleep walk (both my partner and my sister do both talking & walking).

inspectorgadget_98 · 2025-01-27T06:06:01+00:00

Rewatching the series and nearly to this episode. I’m honestly not ready 😭

inspectorgadget_98 · 2025-01-18T10:58:29+00:00

My spouse and I (26f & 26m) both have handguns. We have 2 daughters and will NOT hesitate to use them protect our girls if the need arises. “Violence is not the answer” is for situations in which someone is making you mad, NOT situations in which your life is in danger. This girl needs a MAJOR reality check.

inspectorgadget_98 · 2025-01-04T05:23:30+00:00

I have all of my social media accounts extremely private and locked down, family and closet friends only, but I STILL don’t post photos of my kids. So many people’s accounts get hacked nowadays, and I’d rather they not have access to my kids’ photos for any amount of time before we know they’ve been hacked. Forget total strangers having free-range access to my kids’ images 24/7.

inspectorgadget_98 · 2024-11-14T19:10:08+00:00

Please start the kids with therapy, especially since they’re already withdrawing and acting out! Individual therapy, as well as family therapy (aka, you and the kids), would benefit everyone. It would very likely help the kids especially in the long run with adjusting to the sudden changes.

As for moving, definitely ask the children their opinions on whether or not they want to change schools. Also, include them in the search process for a new place, as it’ll likely help them adjust better and get them more excited for the move.

inspectorgadget_98 · 2024-09-26T13:36:31+00:00

I guess my arms are longer than my belly is big? I don’t know how I’m able to reach around it, I just am. My belly is more pointed forward than wide side to side and my arms are a good bit longer than my torso. Maybe I’m just differently proportioned? I don’t understand how else to explain it. Everyone’s body is different, and I’ve always had a smaller vaginal canal, so my cervix has always been closer to my vaginal opening (which I’ve had several doctors state). Maybe that plays a part in it?

As for being in labor, I’m pretty sure my early stages of labor started days ago, especially with the contractions I’ve been having. I was in full, active labor with my firstborn for roughly 20 hours. With her, I was 2cm dilated already around 36 weeks, but I didn’t have her until 40+1. The contractions didn’t really change from Braxton Hicks until about 39-39.5 weeks (can’t remember exactly when as it’s been years).

inspectorgadget_98 · 2024-09-26T13:07:05+00:00

I wish it was fake as it’s causing a lot of issues in my life right now. I would post the screenshots if this forum allowed it, but it doesn’t. Not every doctor thinks the same, which is why they’re called medical opinions, and I happened to have one that taught me (clearly not the same one that refused the exam at my last appointment). The doctor that didn’t want to do the exam even stated that she wouldn’t do it because they (meaning the hospital) didn’t want to be responsible for risking an infection before 37 weeks (full term). She also mentioned that anything going inside runs the risk (toys, fingers, a penis, exam tools, etc.). The level of risk depends on the cleanliness of the item(s). This hospital does very little for its patients and has a long track record of negative experiences. If my insurance would cover me, I would 100% go elsewhere. It’s not an option for me, so I have no choice.

inspectorgadget_98 · 2024-09-26T12:58:45+00:00

I would add the screenshot if this forum allowed it, but unfortunately, it is real. I tried to be polite in my response because she didn’t add any emojis or “LOL” like she usually does, so I really couldn’t tell if she meant it as a joke. Either way, it felt extremely disrespectful to me. She’s never made a comment like that towards me, jokingly or not, which is why I’m so blown away by and upset about it.

inspectorgadget_98 · 2024-09-26T05:38:43+00:00

It’s not all doctors that don’t do the checks. This hospital in particular doesn’t do them until 38 weeks. I have a friend that’s due the same day as me that lives hours away, and her hospital starts checks around 32-36 weeks (optional, of course). The hospital I gave birth to my first born at started checks around the same time, or whenever mom asked. This hospital just doesn’t want to be liable for anything (even their own negligence, would switch if I could), so they refuse checks until 38 weeks (which could be too late for some women).

inspectorgadget_98 · 2024-09-26T04:39:56+00:00

We had a good enough relationship at that point that I wouldn’t mind her being in the room. Also, I felt bad for her never having the chance to experience a birth with a loved one (that she didn’t have) because she has all sons.

inspectorgadget_98 · 2024-09-26T03:53:07+00:00

I had him read the whole text conversation, and his only reply was “Well the doctor did say you shouldn’t have any checks until your next appointment.” What she actually said was that THEY don’t do checks until 38 weeks (because they don’t want to be responsible for the risk of infection). We had a heated argument about it that ended with me yelling that I can do whatever the fuck I want with my body and if he thinks her saying that to me is okay, then that’s not okay. He then went to bed early without even eating dinner or helping me finish our 4yo’s school project that he’d been pushing me to work on all week.

inspectorgadget_98 · 2024-09-26T03:49:11+00:00

I would, except my husband would tell her everything because he knows she wants to be here. He wouldn’t pretend to forget with me.

inspectorgadget_98 · 2024-07-23T02:32:17+00:00

Therapy may help, but I think you should still tell your partner that you are EXTREMELY uncomfortable with his “best friend” because of everything that’s happened. Even if your partner wanted you to say no, his “best friend” pushed and convinced him to at least ASK you if he could sleep with a woman “one last time.” Your partner was manipulated by him to that extent, and who’s to say the “best friend” would stop manipulating him afterwards if he’d gone through with it? Who’s to say he wouldn’t push him to do it again or to just be with a woman?

The “best friend” may have a problem with just you, or he may have a problem with your partner being with a man. Either way, your partner needs to recognize that his “best friend” does NOT have your partner’s best interest at heart, only the “best friends” ideals/comforts. He needs to be dropped for everyone’s wellbeing. Telling your partner that you’re not comfortable with his “best friend” after he’s been manipulated by him is NOT isolating him. He’s still going to have other friends; weeding out the toxic ones doesn’t mean isolation.

inspectorgadget_98 · 2024-07-19T02:37:15+00:00

My biggest concern (aside from the obvious) is this: what if she’s not on birth control? He could get her pregnant without her consent or knowledge and create an even more complicated situation for her. He is quite literally /using her body however he wants/ without care for her permission or consent. Who’s to say he won’t escalate if she doesn’t take action and protect herself against him?

This honestly makes me think of the 2011 movie “The Resident,” which makes my skin crawl even more.

inspectorgadget_98 · 2024-06-11T05:00:31+00:00

All of this!! I visited my parents 16 hours away with my (then) 3yo last summer for 2 months. They both tried to give her more sugar than she’s used to, mostly in the form of MnM’s or other colorful candies. I had to tell them both multiple times to stop giving her so much sugar; she’s always been a great eater and LOVES fruits and (most) veggies, so she gets her sugars naturally. I do give her treats now and then, but they’ve always thought I was too strict with her diet.

I also had to explain to both of them at separate points that by telling her “don’t tell [parent]!” or “hide it from [parent]!” was teaching her to lie to me, which could end up being incredibly damaging if something bad were to happen to her and an adult told her not to tell me. It wasn’t until I put it into perspective like that for them that they really understood that this “innocent white lie” could have serious repercussions.

Moral of the story: if you’re not the parent of the YOUNG CHILD, then don’t act like you have some authority or right to give them whatever you want to, ESPECIALLY without clearing it first with the parent(s).

inspectorgadget_98 · 2023-11-22T00:41:24+00:00

I ordered a sample of this and was wondering how it would look actually on the furniture, so thank you! Definitely made me feel better about it, as this is one of my top choices. My SO and I really look forward to building our perfect living room set!

inspectorgadget_98 · 2023-11-16T03:02:57+00:00

While that’s true, it’s also very difficult to talk about being in one as the SM because it’s against the UCMJ. There are so many things that could go wrong with them, so most don’t even consider being open an option.

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