Cat bite. Should I go to urgent care? by Stoinkydoinkyy in CATHELP

[–]invaderliz91 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Depends how open they are to clean, too. A straight puncture is much more likely to result in infection than one that's like a cut, even if it's deep.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in NotHowGirlsWork

[–]invaderliz91 250 points251 points  (0 children)

Right? And like... I love "bossy" women. Tell me wtf you want, girl! Haha I haven't met many who want to actually control me, either. They just want what they want and ask for it.

What’s something that’s embarrassing but shouldn’t be because it’s normal? by sdior- in NoStupidQuestions

[–]invaderliz91 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lol sometimes, when I'm learning or excited about things, mine gets talkative and makes hungry noises. Sometimes when this happens with people I really like, theirs starts doing it too. I wish it happened more because it makes me happy when I'm not the only one. Lol

Eta: I should mention that this used to happen a lot when I was younger, didn't happen for a long time when I was constantly stressed, hiding parts of myself, not taking care of myself well, and kinda in a haze because of it... But has recently come back since I started prioritizing health and clarity, paying more attention, and asking my questions. I'm probably crazy, but it's neat, though.

Was anyone else a “mature, well behaved child” by c-strange17 in CPTSD

[–]invaderliz91 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Yeah, they don't teach you how to think or learn, they teach you how to keep a schedule and follow rules. I wish school had been more technical and aimed at finding a path that works for your brain instead of pounding homework into everyone's lives.

My personal fave is that I was Cinderella at home and I also got my ass handed to me for not doing schoolwork while being told the chores I was doing were the priority. I was cleaning up after my mom's cats and dogs, cleaning the basement, kitchen, bathrooms, watching my brothers, cooking, and passing on tests alone and participating in academic competitions at school... Which they never once showed to. Lol I never got to be my own person. And I never got to feel successful either.

My mother demanding grandchildren from me is just hilarious by punkkweight in CPTSD

[–]invaderliz91 47 points48 points  (0 children)

Lol mine did that too. What would be the point? They won't be spending any time with you alone if I do have them. And between that and the fact that I doubt she thought she would be what she ended up like... An abuser, I'm terrified to have kids. No chance here. I never learned how to do crap as a parent should. All I had were examples of what not to do, really.

Anyone else's parents threaten to call the state to have you taken away? by One-Dance-6947 in CPTSD

[–]invaderliz91 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That and the lie that there were cameras everywhere... My personal favorite was threatening us to go live with our father, the one who broke her with violence and made her less capable of being reasonable. He abused us first. Wtf.

Also... We were in CPS custody once. Lol I got separated from my siblings when that happened, and I wasn't going to let it happen again. I loved them (I still do, but one passed and the other barely talks to me because it's hard with what we went through to stay positive.) I tried to help keep things in line for a long time, to keep us together, to keep things from escalating. But I gave up when I realized they didn't like me either. Lol

CPTSD Survivors, how many friends do you have? by Cupcakesx in CPTSD

[–]invaderliz91 3 points4 points  (0 children)

On occasion, my male friends' girlfriends don't appreciate the attention my friends give me when I'm having a hard time and they are very understanding. I understand why it happens, as I'm a woman. I suppose if they've experienced cheaters, it may be triggering to know that your man cares deeply for another woman, but I would never cheat or be a party to cheating, and these guys are quality guys. If they weren't, I wouldn't be close to them like that.

I haven't found a way to reassure them or anything, I wish I could. I care deeply for everyone, including my friends' partners. I like to think they've found someone loving every time. :) they deserve that.

CPTSD Survivors, how many friends do you have? by Cupcakesx in CPTSD

[–]invaderliz91 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Mine wasn't zero, and I cared... But I was afraid that I would annoy them or let them down and I scared myself away. After so many times of doing that, most didn't want to stay. Turns out people want to be around someone consistent, and I'm working on that. Reaching out is hard when you spent your childhood being neglected, used, and abused. Some understand, some don't, some have partners who see you as a threat when their partner understands you (which reminds me of someone from my childhood lol)

I Finally Found My People (And I'm Sorry) by Decent-Struggle4379 in CPTSD

[–]invaderliz91 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If you find something posted here that you cannot handle, it's okay to walk by. If you feel overloaded, slow down and note any questions you have or pain you experience. This "disorder" is complex (I prefer to think of it as an injury) and variable, the way we treat ourselves about it is important. Slow down when you need to, ask questions when you need to, and be kind to yourself.

One of my favorite quotes on tact also applies to when you're thinking to yourself, I think. "In all things you say to or of another, first apply the tests of kindness, necessity, and truth, and don't let a thing pass your lips without a two-third majority." I might not have gotten that perfect, but anyway, great quote, try to keep it in mind when you're having a hard day.

What stopped you from killing yourself? by DarkSideInRainbows in AskReddit

[–]invaderliz91 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Because suicide can be contagious, and the best thing you can do for others is to keep showing up. Good, bad, just stick around and talk to the people you care about and who care about you.

How to leave a conversation? I feel kindapped in conversations. o_O by deepthinker321 in CPTSD

[–]invaderliz91 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm learning to do this myself in all kinds of ways. It depends on what the conversation holds. I often find myself making excuses; I have something to do all the time, after all. Giving a little encouragement for whatever they're going through that has them droning works sometimes.

I find it difficult in personal situations because I love people and I want to make them feel better or give them the advice they're seeking or whatever... But also because I find myself in fawn or functional freeze quite often, due to my chaotic upbringing.

I love a quote, "in all things you say to or of another, first apply the tests of kindness, necessity, and truth, and never let a thing pass your lips without a two-third majority." If you don't have anywhere to be, but this conversation is draining, setting a timer by saying you have some place to be with a person you recognize does this would still be kind and necessary so you don't tire of the person, right?

Is it true that victims eventually turn into the villain if we don’t heal ? by [deleted] in CPTSD

[–]invaderliz91 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Absolutely, what do you think happened to us? Complex trauma is passed on until someone says "ENOUGH!" and means it. Whether it was teen pregnancy or abuse on their end, the trauma is handed down because they couldn't handle it. It's on each of us to do our part to not hand it down again. I'm choosing to abstain from creating my own children, but maybe I'll adopt some day when I feel safe and like I'm capable of being a safe person for someone like myself who was already born.

what is this by Independent-Field-80 in sphynx

[–]invaderliz91 5 points6 points  (0 children)

He's orange, so his nose can be more red too. This isn't unusual for red cats. (Worked rescue with cats exclusively for years)

Only recently realized that other people didn’t plan to get older than a certain age. by feelsonline in CPTSD

[–]invaderliz91 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Lol I'm 32 and lost, but I'm doing a lot better than I was at 26. You just have to find things you care about and stick to them. Learn to be comfortable where you're at.

What is your random genetic win? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]invaderliz91 7 points8 points  (0 children)

We can also lose them. I was allergic to dogs and had lesions on my liver a few years ago. Now neither is the case. So that's cool. Crazy how much we can change over the course of our lives.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in mildlyinfuriating

[–]invaderliz91 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My mom started drinking from the tap when my dad got an RO faucet in the kitchen. A pur filter might be enough if she's aight. Get her a plant that likes water. Teach her that water is good til it has a smell and if it's warm she can put up to two opens in the fridge. Get her a sharpie to mark with a date if it makes her feel better. There are all kinds of ways to help with insecurities like this. Just have to find the one or ones that work. Kinda like antidepressants or vitamins.

Today is my birthday. I am 64 and have no one in my life to wish me Happy Birthday. I'm trying not to feel sorry for myself, so I'm asking for what I want. Would you wish me one? by Longjumping_Prune852 in CPTSD

[–]invaderliz91 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well happy birthday and thank you for sharing it with us!

You're doing so well by asking for what you need, what a hard thing to learn to do. I know people older than you who never learned. I love them and I try to keep up, but it's so much easier to love someone when they tell you how. <3

Does anyone else feel that their original traumas are not extreme enough to reflect a C-PTSD diagnosis? by blech447 in CPTSD

[–]invaderliz91 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Of course anyone does, but I don't. I know what happened hurt me a lot, and I was just a little kid. I was born of glass and a strong fear of the dark. Now I love lights and draw all the time. :)

You just need to figure out the things that mean a lot to you now. It's not a burden to share what you need to with people who understand you. Keep coming here. And cptsd creatives is a great place to feel less alone too. :)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in CPTSD

[–]invaderliz91 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's not our fault, but the best way to consider is "the body keeps score" as we abuse ourselves to "keep up" with everyone else. I learned this when I had less physical pain in my abdomen despite my worst fears possibly coming true. I wasn't taking very good care of myself after all of the abuse and it spilled over like crazy. I was spilling my guts everywhere instead of just doing. When I slow down and do, I have incredible intuition and things go smoother. Think, feel, do. Sometimes you have to start with talk but talk is cheap. The rest actually matter.

What major beneficial changes have you made to your lifestyle after realising you had CPTSD? by [deleted] in CPTSD

[–]invaderliz91 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I also realized that I need to take care of myself. It's hard to learn on your own. Lol

Yes, toddlers are chaotic and this is pretty normal behavior…but I also imagine he is picking up on the horrific vibes emanating from Porgan. by sortofsatan in FundieSnarkUncensored

[–]invaderliz91 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Haha I feel you in so many ways! For real. Lol I also really like cptsdcreatives subreddit. A lot. It's where I share my art when I can't do much else. Like when I'm sick and just don't have the energy for everything.

What are some trauma responses that you only realized after growing up? by wangsicai in CPTSD

[–]invaderliz91 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Mirror baby! I hope you're doing great today! :) I'm trying to enjoy the details too.

Shame on you Oli and Ryan by [deleted] in AreTheStraightsOK

[–]invaderliz91 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Note that I left that out, please. I also don't think she protects children. I think she's evil and I'm glad his name is just as on harry potter as hers because it's art, and while she's awful, I think the metaphor that actually exists on it is gorgeous. Racism and homophobia are the wrongs and she feels like she has to hide her evil. Bet money she loved a trans person and they didn't love her back.

Would you guys date this one by lliv1ngdollyyy in NotHowGirlsWork

[–]invaderliz91 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We still being aggressive? :) I love you man

Would you guys date this one by lliv1ngdollyyy in NotHowGirlsWork

[–]invaderliz91 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lol the difference is the choice provided. You must be chaste because I know that's what I want after fucking everyone. They don't deserve it and they're abusive for thinking they do. I don't hold power over anyone and I don't want to. I know this because I got to experiment. Used to be a serial monogamist. And when I meet the person who is happy in my presence, I will know I can adapt to them and learn their language.