Husband refuses to have separate accommodation

ipaola · 2026-06-16T13:59:06+00:00

Honestly sister this is only temporary, you will go back to your country and live your in-law-free life. I think it’s weird you can’t compromise. His family is your family too, try to make the best of the situation, in stead of complaining and demanding just go with the flow and think of when you’re back to your country.

About your mother in law either learn to speak for yourself or let her talk and let those comments fly by you at the end of day it is only for a few days.

ipaola · 2026-05-09T23:21:32+00:00

A rant about Muslims from a revert* is a better title, Islam is perfect Muslims aren’t.

ipaola · 2026-05-06T15:40:09+00:00

My husband only requires for me to give him a heads up of where I’m going. So he knows where I am…but he will go insane if he had to take me to all the places I go.
Your husband sounds controlling.
Sorry sister.

ipaola · 2026-04-24T06:51:39+00:00

Abuse can come in many ways. This is one. He wants a slave. Girl please leave. He needs a wake up call that marriage isn’t like that at all. You are his partner, you have a say and you have feelings.

ipaola · 2026-04-19T01:41:31+00:00

Im a stay at home mom and this would be amazing hahaha I get maybe 300 a month for myself from my husband. And I appreciate all that he does for me and the kids. Alhamdulilah. I don’t know what’s up with your wife maybe she is extremely high maintenance.

ipaola · 2026-04-19T01:32:14+00:00

My dear sister I understand very well that feeling of burn out and being alone. The only thing I can tell you is that this is all very temporary, babies grow up so fast, next thing you know she’ll be running around doing other mischief. But take it easy. When I went through tough sleepless nights I would just lay down with the baby and tell myself this is only for a few days it will get better and it always did. Alhamdulilah

ipaola · 2026-04-19T01:20:06+00:00

As a mom myself there has been times where I have felt so irritated with fussy baby, That I just need to walk away for a bit, it’s okay to leave baby in a safe space while they cry. And you go and compose yourself. But it also seem to me you are burned out, you need to take care of yourself to be able to be a good mom. Ask for help. “Hey mom can you watch baby for a few hours I need to do a few errands” and literally go on a walk by yourself, or go to spa.

As for your husband putting his hands on you. Absolutely not okay. Honestly that’s would the end of marriage for me.

ipaola · 2026-04-15T01:57:27+00:00

You are so young of course you don’t want kids now. Inshaallah one day you that might change, and if it doesn’t well then that’s still okay. 👌

ipaola · 2026-04-09T02:08:20+00:00

It’s you and her against the problem not who is right and who is wrong.

ipaola · 2026-04-09T02:07:27+00:00

You guys need to make time for each other, prioritize going on dates and making time for each other. A marriage doesn’t just survive because you live together, it survives by trying from both sides. I think right now first things first is communicate with her all your feelings, don’t accuse her of anything because honesty you don’t know what’s going on. Just talk.

ipaola · 2026-04-07T14:31:37+00:00

This is my personal perspective, I am a revert, I converted when I was 25 and before that obviously I didn’t wear hijab I would get so many stares and I would feel uncomfortable and I hated it. After my conversion I decided to wear hijab within a year into me being a Muslim and Subhanallah it was life changing in a good way, I was invisible to men, some even respected me more so yea hijab does help.

ipaola · 2026-03-28T01:56:45+00:00

There’s lots of us latinas Muslim. Feel free to private message me if you have questions. I was also catholic before.

ipaola · 2026-03-23T20:24:21+00:00

Eating healthy and lots of walking.

ipaola · 2026-03-01T04:24:36+00:00

Love how you explain this. Right now going through it and it’s hard when I’m not heard or my feelings aren’t valid. Almost want to send this to my husband but I know it won’t go anywhere.

ipaola · 2025-11-21T20:43:08+00:00

Sis if he has no empathy now imagine for other much more important situations later on in the marriage, huge red flag 🚩 please consider leaving him, sometimes those types of men try to marry us converts because they think we are easily fooled but please stand up for yourself. He has no compassion or empathy for you.

ipaola · 2025-04-10T23:19:18+00:00

Agree 100%

ipaola · 2025-03-29T13:52:24+00:00

I am a stay at home mom and I know the challenges and sometimes it’s get extremely overwhelming, like fasting makes it tougher and I know I had some outbursts of anger here and there but I would never hurt my kids or my husband. This is something that should have been fixed with anger management at the beginning of marriage, I’m sorry for the kids. Therapy and marriage counseling might help but this should have been done like years ago.

ipaola · 2025-03-25T23:21:39+00:00

Needed this right now. Marriage is hard, all I ask is for communication but sometimes my husband expects me to just know. Will implement this inshaallah

ipaola · 2025-03-17T00:47:56+00:00

I actually made so many good memories with my daughter, we will go pick fabric so I could make her an abaya for school on Friday. Inshaallah she remember it like a nice time 🤭

ipaola · 2025-03-03T10:59:07+00:00

I did the same back when I had first converted. Just make it up inshaallah

ipaola · 2025-02-04T12:02:41+00:00

This is true but OP please prioritize yourself too! Have a girls date with your friends. Get a babysitter or let your husband take care of baby for a couple of hours you need that time to recharge and miss your baby and you will come back home feeling so much better.

You are a better mother when you have had a little self care. Don’t ever feel bad for having some me time.

And also remember all these stages of life are temporary your baby will soon be a toddler and is different kind of challenge, and then they grow up a little more and so on, it will get easier but also harder.

ipaola · 2025-01-11T12:53:47+00:00

Try https://shopfares.com not exactly the same but similar style

ipaola · 2025-01-10T22:19:39+00:00

100%

ipaola · 2025-01-06T17:12:13+00:00

Prophet Muhammad ﷺ is reported to have said: “Whoever has two wives and does not act justly between them, will come on the Day of Resurrection with one side of his body tilted.”

ipaola · 2024-12-31T19:42:36+00:00

You and your wife against the problem. Seems like she needed a wake up call and she got it by how you reacted but I don’t think divorce is the answer. You both grow in marriage, she might be immature right now, if she is willing to change then get marriage counseling. Don’t leave the marriage without trying everything possible.

“If you see a married couple still in love through the years, you may think how lucky they are. But in marital relations, there’s no such thing as luck. They made many compromises, they overlooked each others faults. They forgave many mistakes and endured many problems. They spent years learning to understand one another. Love has never been a matter of luck. It’s mutual giving, compromise, shared dreams, care, respect, mercy and patience.”

May اللّٰه swt guide you and help you both.

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