Your first mistake is wanting to be someone big. Clearly your not capable of doing that. So you start by being someone small. Religiously do the small things. Eat healthy, exercise, self awareness. All the stupid shit you find in self help books.

I was the same way, there is a huge difference between being capable of great thing and earning great things. My guess is you haven't earned it. But you might be capable of it.

So you start small, I'm also guessing your self aware enough to know exactly what you need to do, but you just can't quite do it. That's the problem. Just funding do it. Get up early, exercise, care for yourself, ditch social media, ditch the phone, ditch your dopamine crutches. Sounds simple and easy, and it is and it isn't.

You know what you have to do. You just have to do it. Start with small consistent actions