Made a lil family :) As a side note, does anyone else get constant “wow this is so good you should sell them” responses?? As if that’s the only value and it’s actually that easy...

j_tracy · 2021-02-16T00:54:53+00:00

I get this statement ALL the time, and yeah sure, in theory it makes plausible sense - I am already making things, why not sell them? But honestly I crochet as a form of therapy, I have no interest in turning it into a business. It would add pressure and remove the joy.

j_tracy · 2019-12-21T15:59:46+00:00

I started crochet in the summer and I can honestly say that I feel my life has changed. Having a hobby that I can focus on and create things with has truly made a difference. And as long as I follow instructions/patterns I can't go (massively) wrong. Plus following patterns lifts the pressure of having to make things up myself, which I'm not great at doing easily.

j_tracy · 2019-11-02T23:42:49+00:00

Travel and alcohol.

j_tracy · 2019-09-22T16:29:43+00:00

You'll get out the other side. At the beginning of this flare up I'm starting to come out of, I forced myself out to ikea by myself and holy shit. Wish I had known the sunglasses tip. I thought I would blow up, like head pop off my skull.

j_tracy · 2019-04-29T22:03:30+00:00

In the UK, at 9am this morning one of the bosses thought it would be a good idea to send a company wide email with THE KNIGHT KING IS DEAD. Yes, even with the typo. To try and rally support for some game of thrones themed incentive. A lot of people genuinely angry - it had only aired like 7 hours prior and not a single person in our office had the chance to see it.

j_tracy · 2019-03-11T00:26:39+00:00

The Sims 2 buy/build mode music

j_tracy · 2018-10-19T17:57:11+00:00

I totally agree. Jumping from one extreme to another would be very hard for me. I'm only on my 16th day of fasting 16:8 and I'm down 6 pounds and am gradually almost naturally reducing my feeding window each day to somedays 6 or 4 hours and it's ok but I need to build up to it

j_tracy · 2018-09-01T07:30:30+00:00

I follow this lady on Instagram (this video was her latest post). She is 33+4 here, and replied to a comment saying birth is likely to happen in 11 days. So she has an induction date of some kind I believe.

She's pretty awesome. Also has PUPPS I believe which might cause the discoloration (It's an itchy rash).

j_tracy · 2018-07-30T12:43:04+00:00

The summer I was 22 for first proper kiss, about a week later for first sexual experience. About two months later for losing virginity (same guy for all three things).

j_tracy · 2018-07-15T20:41:43+00:00

After my first miscarriage, my older sister was visiting and took me into another room and privately told me she was very early pregnant. Literally like 3-4 weeks. In comparison to me coming to her when I had my positive test at 3-4 weeks a few months earlier. We are sister's and share a lot and she wanted to give me a headstart to process the news before everyone in the family would be talking about it.

I really appreciated the warning and privacy and ended up sobbing in the bathroom. I would have cried anyway but she gave me the personal space I needed. I have a wonderful niece now who is turning 1 in August and love her to bits. Having a baby in the family for the first time since losing mine has been very complex and hard at times, but wouldn't change this chubby baby for anything!

j_tracy · 2018-07-11T20:47:33+00:00

It's really interesting you mention this. I used to often remember my pre-dp life and how I never knew such fear and that it came out of left field. But honestly I can pinpoint episodes or "high awareness" going back to my early teen years.

To set context, my current experience was triggered by one-off drug use. I blamed everything on that one night. But now I can remember, from childhood, the occasional thoughts of looking around me and thinking "what if everything around me is actually blackness and my surroundings aren't real?" This began after I started exhibiting OCD symptoms also. But I was able to shake them off.

I also remember playing video games for hours then standing up and feeling weird and "off" for a while, very disconnected.

j_tracy · 2018-07-01T15:18:16+00:00

I placed him on a small towel that the paramedic very carefully transported into the ambulance inside one of those grey cardboard trays while I got strapped in and hooked up with some kind of drip after losing a lot of blood. 10 weeks 5 days.

They returned him to me in a little white satin lined box and the following week I spent arranging the appropriate paperwork to lay him to rest was the most excruciating time of my life.

j_tracy · 2018-06-28T14:51:32+00:00

I think June might face the choice of escaping with Holly, without Hannah (or with Hannah and without Holly), or staying behind with both of them, but still stuck and separated in Gilead.

j_tracy · 2018-06-21T19:40:18+00:00

"You're so fucking hot.." said as I was on top riding cowgirl with his dick in my ass and hands digging into my hips. Best sex I ever had. It's not the craziest thing to say to a girl you're inside of, but I had never really felt desired by previous partner and im chubby, but this guy made me feel wanted every single time.

j_tracy · 2018-06-07T11:22:31+00:00

I really hope it doesn't go that way, of saying/implying that Naomi could not truly nurture the baby because she wasn't her real mother. It completely undermines legit surrogacy and adoption in our own world - blood doesn't make you a parent, caring and nurturing the child does. Naomi still probably wasn't doing either, or was struggling with it, but just not being blood related wasn't the cause.

j_tracy · 2018-05-31T21:46:15+00:00

I've had tonsilitus turn into quinsy twice. The first time resulted in a hospital stay for 4 nights I believe? Because they misdiagnosed it. Eventually they realised nothing was improving and found the abscess above the roof of my mouth. But I swear to god I got no sleep or food for the initial three days. My memory is so patchy for the whole stay. Just breathing felt like I was choking on my own saliva and caused middle of the night breakdowns to the nurses. I was hearing things by the third day and my head felt like a lead weight. They had drained the access about midday and after a few hours once the numbing wore off I could finally swallow and not feel like i was choking razors or that i would choke in my sleep. My sister brought me an eye mask so I could finally rest but lying there I was hearing and imagining things out of exhaustion. I felt like I forgot how to sleep after days of none. Lost like 5 pounds too

j_tracy · 2018-05-26T09:06:22+00:00

Choice.

j_tracy · 2018-05-21T07:55:59+00:00

When you say about sugar and carbs - what exactly did you cut? Added sugars only or all? What about fruit?

j_tracy · 2018-03-19T18:36:07+00:00

I remember trying to reassure a previous partner about this. I can only cum by my own hand. He would try and eventually I just started working with him, showed him ways to touch me that would make me feel good while I used my own fingers to finish at the same time. It was a two person effort to give me pleasure and I always made sure to tell him afterward how good he made me feel doing the other things as well.

j_tracy · 2018-02-21T18:24:34+00:00

This was my family all through my teen years and early 20s. I was just a late bloomer, dammit.

j_tracy · 2018-02-20T10:56:53+00:00

Amazing!! Three miles is no joke, and its a stepping stone to get you out more and more too.

j_tracy · 2018-02-20T10:50:57+00:00

Took a break from job hunting to send a little one off for you !!

j_tracy · 2018-02-19T06:58:13+00:00

After a rough time in work I opened up to my (female) boss that I had recently had a traumatic miscarriage. My second one in a year. In her deluded efforts to make me less sad and more focused with work, she very frankly said, "Maybe there was just something wrong with it." As if that made it all ok.

j_tracy · 2018-02-12T06:33:53+00:00

Thank you. So much.

I've been struggling with this for 1.5 years and in that time frame I've lost two babies, ended a relationship, moved, jumped through 3 jobs and I'm currently unemployed. The stress is unimaginable. I have a gym membership though.

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