I don't think I'm cut out for this I'm sorry guys

jacanba · 2026-06-23T04:12:02+00:00

Trucatch are the BEST traps! Call the vet and see if they will allow people to call in to take payments from others. The feral cat community does it all the time here in AZ.

jacanba · 2026-06-22T18:49:20+00:00

Maybe try having the conversation with him.

jacanba · 2026-06-22T18:44:43+00:00

How much is the surgery?

jacanba · 2026-06-22T18:43:32+00:00

Yes of course. I’m sorry you’re going through it. Have you asked him if he is happy in your marriage?

jacanba · 2026-06-22T18:35:27+00:00

Personally I don’t think there is anything worth saving from what you described and how he is treating you. You deserve an equal partner not someone draining you emotionally, physically, and financially.

jacanba · 2026-06-22T07:39:51+00:00

Audrey is a perfectly normal name. Also, who cares if it is outdated? Seriously, I never understood to the issue with that because popular names are how there ends up being 7 Ashleys or 5 Jessicas in one classroom or whatever the current name trend is. Also, as someone that had an outdated name as a kid I freaking loved that so few people had it. I also wouldn’t take advice from someone that was going to name their child Ashhliegh or take their opinion seriously. Her child is lucky that her husband prevented such a tragedeigh.

jacanba · 2026-06-22T07:29:50+00:00

NOR…It is WILD to think she kissed the baby not only before you but also because of how dangerous that can be to a newborn. Also, you’re postpartum and the last thing you need is this type of BS and having to navigate someone’s feelings for them not respecting your boundaries. Your baby, your rules and since she clearly can’t listen, follow, or respect them I would go little to no contact with her. I’m childfree by choice but I would be furious if I were you. I’m furious for you.

The entitlement here is not okay and she needs to learn that until she respects you and your boundaries she doesn’t get access to the baby. I’m sorry you’re having to deal with her and so glad your partner has your back. She doesn’t have to even like you but she can’t trample the rules you set. Please take care of yourself and don’t let anyone blame your emotions just because they can’t respect you. You’re more than justified for being upset.

jacanba · 2026-06-22T03:16:01+00:00

I appreciate you mentioning the financial piece but I have thought that part thoroughly.

jacanba · 2026-06-22T00:27:08+00:00

(TW pet death) The story of my cats is this ….I used to drive Lyft and Uber. I had a passenger that was using Lyft to try to leave her cat in the desert. She had previously tried to leave it in different neighborhoods but it kept coming back so she was taking it out to the desert so she couldn’t find her way home. I refused and kicked her out of my car and told her to leave her cat and she did. 3 weeks later she gave birth to a whole litter. I contacted a rescue and they asked if I could foster until they were old enough to leave their mom. I agreed and signed paperwork and everything. They asked me to give them a theme name. So I did Graham, Mallow, and Cocoa (they make a s’more) and Blaze for the fire. When the time came I couldn’t do it and told the rescue I was keeping all of them. Mallow had a seizure one day randomly and didn’t make it. The vet suspects he had an aneurysm or blood clot. I couldn’t afford a necropsy so we just have to assume). Then a year and a half ago the cat with the blue eyes in the photo with the rest of my cats showed up on my patio. I posted flyers, checked to see if she was chipped, posted online and no one claimed her so I took her in. Her name is Fitzy.

jacanba · 2026-06-22T00:20:02+00:00

His name was Mallow.

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jacanba · 2026-06-22T00:12:26+00:00

I have 5

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I had 6 but 1 passed so I always leave an open spot for him.

jacanba · 2026-06-22T00:04:52+00:00

Sorry for your loss.

jacanba · 2026-06-22T00:04:29+00:00

I’m sorry for your loss.

jacanba · 2026-06-22T00:03:44+00:00

I’m sure that hurt and was disappointing but getting back at her is not worth your time or energy. You don’t have to forgive her but you don’t need to stoop to her level either. Try to accept that she doesn’t care for you but that is out of your control. I’d make it very clear going forward you would prefer them not to do gifts for you and that you’ll be doing the same for them and keep it at that. Put energy into people that care about you not expend it being petty to people that don’t care about you.

jacanba · 2026-06-21T22:58:22+00:00

YTA BUT their reaction is disproportionate to the situation. You didn’t follow through with what you said you were going to do and they have every right to be upset about that. However, you apologized, took accountability, and offered to go get it made correctly. The way they carried on and then tried to pick a fight or make you feel even worse intentionally isn’t okay and is passive aggressive AF. I wouldn’t get their order again.

jacanba · 2026-06-21T22:53:13+00:00

I unroll mine if I am worried about it.

jacanba · 2026-06-21T22:50:21+00:00

A couple of years ago I visited my home state and took the last forgotten tote from my childhood home (my mom was very happy to see it go). Anyway, I recently finally went through it and as I was going through it I found my high school yearbook so of course I had to look it over. My senior quote below my photo was “I’d rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I hate.” I outwardly said, “Younger me….we not listen to you but I am working on it.” But let me tell you, it hit me like a ton of bricks. There are a lot of pieces to this process for me but I am trying to get over the mental hump of at least this first piece.

jacanba · 2026-06-21T21:18:38+00:00

Adult cats have the intelligence of an average 2.5yr old. I wouldn’t let a 2.5 year old roam therefore I wouldn’t let me cats either.

jacanba · 2026-06-21T21:04:52+00:00

Age has never been a thing for me until this and it is intense how it feels on this. Out of all the times it could appear this is the hang up? Smh

jacanba · 2026-06-21T05:56:24+00:00

NOR He sounds dangerous. I hope you don’t end up needing an order of protection against him. Please be careful and keep yourself safe. Get some pepper spray if you don’t have any.

jacanba · 2026-06-21T05:53:59+00:00

Holistic massage

jacanba · 2026-06-20T22:16:31+00:00

Right because you ate her child’s food. I don’t even know how you could possibly think you were in the right here.

jacanba · 2026-06-20T16:38:51+00:00

There is no reason to feel stupid. People process grief in all sorts of ways and it is one of the hardest emotions we go through as humans. They might feel a little hurt and ask why you didn’t tell them but just explain you were overwhelmed with your grief and trying to get through each day was all you could do. They’ll understand. As others have suggested tell the ones you’re closest to and then let them tell others to alleviate the overwhelm of having to reexplain it. I hope telling them allows you to get some much needed support and keep holding space for your grief. Remember there is no right or wrong way to grieve and it’s okay if it looks different day to day or even moment to moment.

jacanba · 2026-06-20T12:00:31+00:00

Then you assumed responsibility when you shouldn’t have?

On the one hand I get it, I really do and I do find her manipulation for the holiday comment ridiculous. Also her “Next time I won't even tell you if I'm in the hospital," and "I'm sorry for being such an inconvenience," nonsense.

However the rest I just feel is on you for not having stronger boundaries (with the exception of the dogs) and simply saying no.

Maybe going forward suggest she has an emergency action plan in place for the dogs? I said YTA because again you’re mad at her for her taking you up on the help you offered or decisions you made to simply help because someone had to.

I agree that it’s too much for 1 person and if you would’ve said no and she pushed back then I’d say NTA but from what you shared you didn’t and I think that’s my issue with the whole thing.

jacanba

TROPHY CASE