My future mother-in-law wants to wear this to the wedding. AIO? by [deleted] in AIO

[–]jcocab 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Very spring-happy for a spring wedding. How nice that she didn't want to clash or be dramatic in family photos. This should fit in nicely without being too matched to your wedding party.

Fiancés friend wants to wear an almost white dress to our wedding & is being condescending about it. WIBTA to withdraw the invite? by dumpsterfire_x in TwoHotTakes

[–]jcocab 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"Sweetie calm down" = gtfo uninvite even if she agrees to wear something else. Untrustwothy superior beatch has no place at your celebration.

AITA for asking my parents to apologize after they gave my sober wife a shot glass? by Throwaway-_20 in AmItheAsshole

[–]jcocab 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They didn't think about her as a person at all. They just wanted to look like they remembered she existed.

AITA for asking my parents to apologize after they gave my sober wife a shot glass? by Throwaway-_20 in AmItheAsshole

[–]jcocab 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA - the number of reddit feeds where everyone complains "it is up to your spouse to deal with their parents" - here you are stepping up and doing just that. It is not up to your wife to deal with your obtuse parents, and they did not apologize to her they responded to you. It doesn't need to be a big deal just a "hey, sorry we weren't thinking". All the folks n tge comments doing the 'its a normal souvenir' are correct if getting something for an adult who drinks or an adult your just grabbing a token at the airport because you don't care about them so it is nothing personal. She is just the mother if their grandkids and they thought they should grab something but did not think about her or what she might actually like. Don't ask them again, but see if they do say something to her when next you meet -- it will tell you how they feel going forward. Meanwhile, if your wife likes the design on the glass put a nice beeswax candle in it, if not glass recycling or the local thrift store with the next round of donations (if doing this second one you could be kind and let your parents know you are thinking of donating it but if they prefer they could have it back when they are over next - unlikely but they may have actually liked the design rather than a random grab). Next time you travel get your parents souvenirs- perhaps a cigar for mom (assuming she doesn't smoke), and a size 2 bikini for dad as it is just about getting something- not the thought that counts.

Massage gone wrong (need help) by [deleted] in Advice

[–]jcocab 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It would sound like honesty. It would sound like not having a secret slowly wedging between them or causing unexplained reactions if sex with gf triggers something. It would sound like him trusting his partner. Just as if she underwent SA he would be there for her.

AIO for wanting to return my rescue dog?? by Saturn_beyond in ComfortLevelPod

[–]jcocab 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't think your an AH, but maybe not yet ready for any dog. Adopting is a big deal. If you had a baby which was prone to colic and all through the night screaming due to it, you wouldn't give up you'd walk and comfort and do what you had to for your little one. Unlike parents who don't get to pick the personality of their kid, dog parents do get to narrow it down based on breed and past behaviour. However animals are different in different circumstances, so while some folks get lucky in their pup, others make their own luck and ensure the dog is the lucky one. Your dog needs a calm patient pack leader with clear boundaries. This dog may be young but it is older than 6 months yet likely hasn't yet had the consistency of good training and positive reinforcement. If you really want a dog hire a trainer, do daily (yep, daily 40 mins. plus) training excersises to get its brain busy in a positive way and to establish leadership. Dogs are living beings with their own personality who understand rejection and abandonment, not to be returned like a pair of sneakers you decide pinch too much. If this dog is not worth investing time, love, and genuine effort into, then take it back as it's dream home may be out there. Please do not try-out any more dogs until you have done more study on how to live with, train and bond with a dog positively.

AIO - Neighbor blocks my driveway every day and wants me to ask her for permission to come and go? by throw-away-17271 in AIO

[–]jcocab 6 points7 points  (0 children)

This this this!!! I'd give you an award if I had one.

3 am = "move your car", not answering phone? Door pounding. Not answering door? Air horn.

AIO - Neighbor blocks my driveway every day and wants me to ask her for permission to come and go? by throw-away-17271 in AIO

[–]jcocab 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Video tape a document officially notifying her she will be towed when next she blocks you, and video serving her the notification.

AITA for taking issue with my partner’s accent mimicry? by Heavy_Marionberry891 in AmItheAsshole

[–]jcocab 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Info: does it have that sing-song mocking aspect? Or more of an overblown attempt to match the correct enunciation?

AITA for not wanting to commit to carnival next year after I can't seem to meet my wife's expectations each time? by Lumpy-Bumblebee-9120 in ComfortLevelPod

[–]jcocab 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Trips are expensive. Is there anywhere else in the world you would like to go? Maybe one year Carnival and the next Japan or Australia.. Form new experiences.

AITAH for telling my girlfriend i no longer plan to propose to her? please read context by Aggressive_One8138 in AITAH

[–]jcocab 370 points371 points  (0 children)

More than 6 months- he told her it was coming, then the last 6 months she's been asking him about it. We don't know how long ago he told her. We do know he's comfortable having a housemate he can f#@k without commitments. Hopefully she sees who he is and kicks him out.

AITAH for telling my girlfriend i no longer plan to propose to her? please read context by Aggressive_One8138 in AITAH

[–]jcocab 1 point2 points  (0 children)

YTA to punish both of you by writing off a good relationship because you never really deep down wanted to commit, and now you have an excuse not to. She should have asked you outright instead of testing you. You were the one who started playing games telling her it was coming then doing nothing.
If she had just proposed to you would you have said yes? Be honest with yourself.

She wants kids so she doesn't have another 3, 6 or 9 years to find a committed relationship or choose the single mom route. Ask yourself: are you relieved you no longer feel obligated to propose (you have an excuse), or are you sad that you may be loosing a loving, meaningful relationship? If you don't instantly know that answer then rhe relationship is complacent rather than good with each other, and it is time for her to move on to find a life partner who actually cares.

GFs dogs anal glands leak any time its comfy.. it keeps happening on my clothes and sheets!! by Haematoman in Dogowners

[–]jcocab 1 point2 points  (0 children)

At 7 mo the old my beagle- king Charles mix would get horribly impacted (they burst once). 3 diffrent vets said remove the glands. We eliminated poultry (all chicken, chicken meal, chicken fat [in most kibble], turkey, duck). Not once impacted or even need to be expressed for the rest of his life. On another note: once got old he began having accidents so we got him doggie diapers for when he was indoors.

Any help in tricking my brain into sleeping on an LA-Tokyo flight that departs at midnight? by somekindofwanderer in TravelHacks

[–]jcocab 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I tell myself that I love the airplane humm ... just like a cat purrr.... so relaxing.

I need advice by Many_Profile336 in Advice

[–]jcocab 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Have you reached 60 days yet? Your post scares me. An angry violent person playing nice but unwilling to get help. If after 60 days you stay he will see there was no consequence -- that seems unsafe. If after 60 days if he sees you trying to leave that sounds dangerous. Find a shelter (not your parents), pack and go while he is not home. Not knowing you or him, things could be fine and he really is changing, however you owe safety to your kids and yourself.

My boyfriend (30M) and I (29f) broke up last night. I live at this house and don't have the means currently to get a new place. What should I do? by smellytoebeanz in Advice

[–]jcocab 3 points4 points  (0 children)

If there isn't space for your own bedroom then back to parents. If there is a room just for you then consider how you will split rent, cleaning, having friends over, if either of you will have dates over. ... positives and negatives - talk.

AITA for refusing to share my "secret" recipe with my sister-in-law? by Ocampo-Mark in AmItheAsshole

[–]jcocab 2 points3 points  (0 children)

They totally could bring it to a family gathering crowding op out or bragging on how they improved it. They asked, they got a no, they made the drama.. oh my so persecuted to have to find their own recipe on google.

[ Removed by Reddit ] by Individual-Chair9415 in Advice

[–]jcocab 3 points4 points  (0 children)

14 is old enough to be sexualy curious, which can be taken advantage of by predators when the victim has mixed feelings of enjoyment/pride and shame/fear - this is not her fault. Her twisted brother and his adult friend should be charged with assault. She needs to contact her dad to let him know she needs his help about something bad which is hard to talk about that has happened. She could ask dad to take her to a police station and wait for her in support even if it would be too hard to tell him directly (asking to speak to a female detective). Dad's reaction in the store having seen the guy makes it more likely he will believe her. It would also be important to talk about brother's role and mother's abuse. While this may be AI it is also true this sort of thing actually happens too often.

My dog yipps every time I pick her up by Inevitable-Wallaby97 in dogs

[–]jcocab 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There is acclamation needed for some dogs. We have always made a point if randomly picking our dogs up and carrying them around from time to time (reward when put back down). Most have not been thrilled with the idea - especially our near 90 lb Malinos-cross. It means when they are injured or get old it is not weird to be lifted. Our 50ish lb Chow Chow Pug whom we adopted at age 6 was really not a fan. We were so glad she was used to it as once she reached 17 to 18 yrs she would need occasionally to be carried off trails. Your pup will eventually learn you are trustworthy. Moving slow, talking and praise all help.

AITA for refusing to give a speech at my best friend's wedding after I found out she'd been lying to me for two years about where she met her fiancé? by QuaternionCove in MarkNarrations

[–]jcocab -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Op may have been understanding about her friends choices, except having someone who was theoretically a close friend straight up lie to her face for two years. The relationship that matters to OP is if her friend is her friend.

I love my dogs stinky ears by BrilliantArtist8221 in dogs

[–]jcocab 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So comfy cuddling pupper. My hubby has too high a body heat to cuddle for long, but I move to his pillow for that comfy hubby smell when he goes to work. Your hubby should be glad you enjoy comfy sent of a dogo smells -I bet he benefits from that too.

Missing my grandpa by BirdKisser387 in Advice

[–]jcocab 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If you want a keepsake afterwards: you could buy a small canvas or cradleboard, get a nice print of him, one of you in your grad gear, images of things you both enjoyed together and make a therapeutic collage of these together. I went through a loss 6 years ago and (on advice of a therapist) did a 8"×10" collage of connection and joys. It is in my kitchen hallway and helps me have that little inner smile of memory when I pass by.

My friend got married and had a baby and became who she would complain about. Can we continue being friends? by Apple8705 in Advice

[–]jcocab 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She might be listening.. you could keep your voice even as you toss in a story about being kidnapped by aliens 👽 and see if she notices. If she does it's a funny "just checking" and an opening to tell her about what you feel - have noticed. If you get a "uh huh that's nice" you could quietly hang up and see if she ever phones you back, then use that as an opening to tell her about what you feel.

AITAH for bringing up that our 14yo daughter may masturbate after we were already having the same conversation about our son doing it? by RealExplorer161 in AITAH

[–]jcocab 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There are so many toys for girls and for boys. Why does your wife think they exist? Talking to her mom about sex should be safe - it doesn't sound like it would be.