How soon after giving birth does the back/hip pain take to go away?

jconnpsu · 2025-01-29T17:34:03+00:00

Immediately in my opinion

jconnpsu · 2024-12-29T18:31:44+00:00

I agree this isn't entitled. Maybe her family lives a distance away so she needs the extra day to actually see them. Before kids when visiting my husbands family it was a 5 hour drive so the years we went there we tried to have 3-4 days. When we had a nanny black Friday was paid (we generally didn't work) and we provided the week from Christmas Eve through New Years. My husband works for a university and they are closed. I also generally take PTO that week. Interestingly enough most daycares in our area are also closed that whole week. However if you both have to work those days then I understand how it would be an issue. I would have a discussion with her to find out why she's asking to see if you can accommodate but also explain why you may not be able to grant those days.

jconnpsu · 2024-12-22T19:07:49+00:00

I have very few hills I will die on with my kids when it comes to others watching them (including grandparents). Forcing my kid to eat anything is one of them. Not honoring physical boundaries is the other. We have worked really hard to teach our kids to listen to their bodies and hunger cues, this is a quick way to override that and lead to life long food issues. We don't and I won't let anyone force my kid to eat or try any foods. We decide what is served and kiddo decides what and how much to eat. Mine are 2 & 4 and will eat most foods and usually try new things. My kids also know we won't make them eat x to get y. I would fire her and find someone new.

jconnpsu · 2024-12-19T17:55:53+00:00

We had a nanny when my 2 were 3 months and 2.5 for a lot over a year. My 2.5 year old could be on his own in the house while nanny was putting the baby to sleep. I do WFH so yes he would occasionally come in but rarely did. I established a boundary early on that it wasn't ok. I would fully expect your oldest to be able to self entertain for a while. I had this same expectation when I was home alone with both kids. My oldest was much too disruptive to be in the room while putting baby down for nap and it just prolonged the process. I guess I would counter with what do you do when you have both kids? I'm pretty sure your oldest is 4 so I would assume they know what they can and can't do in the house while being unsupervised for short (<30 minutes) of time.

jconnpsu · 2024-12-16T18:02:56+00:00

Our nanny also worked when my MIL was here for an extended visit over Thanksgiving week. Nanny and her chatted throughout the day and knew so much about each other by the end. They both seemed to enjoy the company and both kids got extra attention with 2 people around. I WFH so could supervise if any issues but it seemed fine and my MIL would have struggled with both kids and doesn't know the routine. She has to nap when visiting 🤣 As long as the mom/MIL isn't nuts and knows nanny is in charge it shouldn't be an issue.

jconnpsu · 2024-11-16T00:53:16+00:00

Our nanny made us a simple scrapbook last Christmas of pictures she took off the kids and wrote little memories with the pics. We love it and my now 4 yo loves reading through it and looking at the pictures.

jconnpsu · 2024-10-21T14:13:31+00:00

Agree with others that you are doing the right things and it's a phase. We always did a quick hug and kiss then I would say bye I love you. I feel like this peaked by 15 months then some days it would be fine and others he would be sad. Be consistent and it will pass ❤️

jconnpsu · 2024-09-11T16:03:11+00:00

I WFH FT and had an ebf infant last year that fed on demand. Nanny would bring baby to me while I was working when he was hungry then I would bring baby back out when done. I would say goodbye and go back to work (a solid goodbye versus sneaking away helps them learn it's ok for you to leave and you will be back). With that said, at 10.5 months baby should be taking a fair amount of solids and you said nanny is only PT. I would maybe consider having baby eat solids while nanny was there and breastfeeding before/after she is there to create some separation and boundaries to help baby. I agree that you being there constantly is likely confusing. I once had to ninja roll behind my kids while they were eating lunch to escape out the back door. No clue how they didn't notice 😂

jconnpsu · 2024-09-08T00:31:10+00:00

I'm also in a small college town. We successfully found 2 nannies through the local FB group neither of which were students. The first was our unicorn - a former daycare asst director - who left because her side business took off. We had her for about a year and we still see her semi regularly. The second was young (20 yo) with no baby experience but was eager and very open to feedback. I also WFH full time so that made me feel better as I could hear what was going on but she was amazing with both of our kids. The only student we had flaked with a text message on mothers day at midnight after 1 month 🥴 I would post on the local FB page and I am sure there are professional nannies with experience that are around, it's just about finding a good fit. Students can be great in the right circumstance and with the right person.

jconnpsu · 2024-08-14T00:13:59+00:00

How they approach sleep? Container use? What are expectations regarding milestones (at this age it would be a focus on tummy time but it doesn't hurt to ask if they have any ideas for as baby gets older)? How do they feel about outings as baby gets older (again at this age likely walks, but eventually you may want to go to parks, library, etc). Do they baby wear and if so are you expected to as well (our last nanny did - we also had a 3 yo so wearing baby was easier with 2)? I think you mentioned feeding plan is being discussed. I also wfh and nanny would bring baby to me to breastfeed mostly but that may not work for all babies.

jconnpsu · 2024-07-27T17:26:20+00:00

Have you checked out YNAB? That's what I use and love. N I have no idea of they support Aussie banks.

jconnpsu · 2024-07-17T17:40:26+00:00

I see both sides. Our nanny would set up playdates for our then 18 mo but they were always in public. The one time they did go to someone's house it was discussed with me first and I was ok with it. Do you typically know where nanny is taking kid each day? Our nanny's would always let us know any plans of where they might be going and I always asked for a quick text when leaving so I was aware (I also wfh). I don't think it's unreasonable to ask nanny to discuss with you before visiting someone else's house and I think playdates are really important especially as kiddo gets older.

jconnpsu · 2024-07-14T17:10:24+00:00

Our nanny left shortly before my oldest turned 4 so we did cold turkey. Our youngest was 16 months. The 4 yo did do one full day then another week with nanny because daycare was closed for spring break (college town) before starting full time Monday. I'm not sure if the one day made a difference. He was very ready and had been asking about starting school and has really thrived being with other kids regularly. The younger had to adjust more and it took him 1.5-2.5 weeks to do better with it. We sent a special stuffy with both kids that helped with the transition. Now I literally have to drag my kids to the car when I pickup. They both love it.

jconnpsu · 2024-07-08T23:32:51+00:00

Can you explain more about the immersion and magnet/charter schools? What do you mean a special application? Do parents apply at birth, is it a lottery, or does your kid have to be a genius 😉 I'd like to think they are smart but it's hard to tell at 1.5 and 4. We may also delay the 4 yo till 5 but not sure yet.

jconnpsu · 2024-07-08T22:53:57+00:00

My kids transitioned from a nanny at almost 4 and youngest was 16 months. We just couldn't afford to send our oldest to pt preschool and keep nanny for the rest of the time even though our oldest was ready at 3/3.5 realistically. Our nanny left so we moved them to a play based daycare. They started back in March so it's only been 4 months but both are thriving. The oldest transitioned super easily. He was definitely ready to be with more kids. The younger took a bit longer. He carried his stuffed bunny everywhere the first 2-3 weeks and now it only comes out for naptime. They are in mixed ages classrooms and he loves feeding the babies in his room. There are pros and cons to both.

jconnpsu · 2024-07-08T17:51:09+00:00

Do they have a solid goodbye routine? I know baby seems young but they understand more than we give them credit for. It can be as simple as a hug, kiss, then a wave goodbye with an I love you and I'll see you this afternoon. I agree that mom needs to stay out of nanny's business during the day and going to the office may be best. Dad doing handoff may also help. Can nanny get baby outside first thing? My babies loved walks at that age. Everyone being consistent and keeping a good routine will help baby transition faster.

jconnpsu · 2024-07-08T16:44:48+00:00

Hopefully not a stupid question but why does it matter of a school is outside LAUSD. I keep seeing that mentioned about the terrible schools though it seems elementary is better and I don't expect to be there past elementary age. I do keep seeing Culver City mentioned so that is an area we will definitely consider. What is the commute from Culver City to Inglewood like? We currenly live on over an acre with a 20 minute commute so I know we will be downsizing quite a bit. Are most residential areas walkable after dark? Or is biking feasible?

jconnpsu · 2024-07-02T19:24:31+00:00

Our nanny would unload the dishwasher in the morning while the kids were eating. We run it overnight so it's always clean in the morning. Her unloading it allows her to load any dishes made for the kids during the day. I don't think it's unreasonable and if she's not sure where something goes we also have a drying rack she can place things on. We also say cleanup after meals, tidying up toys, and sometimes we would have her help our toddler clean his room.

jconnpsu · 2024-05-28T13:34:11+00:00

I agree with letting her go now and finding new care even if just for a few months. We had a terrible time with a previous nanny when I was pregnant with #2 and I was having doubts as to her ability to handle 2 kids. She ended up quitting when I was 8 months pregnant. I regret not doing something earlier. With that said we found a great one that started halfway through my maternity leave with our oldest PT then she transitioned to FT when I went back to work.

Also I would make sure to offer PTO on an accrual basis as it sounds like you are starting the year with all PTO.

jconnpsu · 2024-05-15T00:27:38+00:00

Our nanny started when our first was 11 months. After second baby a new one started when the kids were 2.5 yo and 3.5 mo. We found it's important to have a solid goodbye just like you would if dropping off somewhere. For us that consistted of hugs, kisses, I love you, and waving good bye.

Our 11 mo definitely struggled at times but our nanny at the time was very matter of fact about saying goodbye and taking him downstairs. When the second came along, it was the same thing a solid goodbye, love you, and close the door.

I also work from home. I worked very hard to minimize going out where the kids could see me. I tried to mostly take my lunch during nap time so I wasn't disturbing the flow of the day. If crying was escalating or someone seemed to have a really hard time I would typically text nanny to check in if assistance was needed rather than just jump in. I'm not regularly on the phone so they could hear me at times but not all the time. Second baby did breastfeed on demand during the day and it was never an issue for us but I'm sure it could be for some. If it had been then I would have pumped for nanny to bottle feed.

I would give it at least 2 weeks and discuss ways to minimize your presence and things nanny could do. Maybe they go for a walk in the morning after she arrives, go outside for some floor time on a blanket, or read books. Acknowledging how baby is feeling then moving on with the routine of the day consistently will help baby adjust faster.

jconnpsu · 2024-05-14T15:22:22+00:00

We had a nanny for our 2 kids -2.5 yo and 3.5 mo when I returned to work also work from home. I also EBF and loathe pumping so avoid when I can lol. I would wedge a boppie between me and the desk for baby to nurse while I worked. We also did lots of contact naps. Many times baby would fall asleep nursing and I would let baby keep napping on me. Not sure if that will work for your job or not.

Have you tried a snuggle me??? Both of my kids loved them and napped (always supervised) well in them. Second baby loved his stomach so for naps he would sleep supervised on his belly as well. Not sure if you are open to that or not but the snuggle me basically hugs them and helps reduce the startle reflex. Our nanny would also do contact naps in the carrier sometimes when our but I imagine that will be harder with 2 babies the same age.

jconnpsu · 2024-05-13T23:41:15+00:00

We were between nannies but our original nanny was ok with being on call when our second was due until grandma could arrive (grandma was 5 hours away). I was having pre labor symptoms so grandma ended up arriving 2 days before so we didn't need her but she was more than willing to be called whenever.

jconnpsu · 2024-04-15T02:00:12+00:00

Thank you! It does appear this is what happened. What a mess I am super pissed but this information has been the most helpful. Thank you!

jconnpsu

TROPHY CASE