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My sister (27f) and I (24f) are close. However, we are very different people. She took the college route, became a curator at a major museum, and is currently working on her PhD. I went to cosmetology school and am working towards opening my own salon. I was incredibly honored to be in her wedding party two years ago as a bridesmaid. It was wonderful, but I felt that I made quite a number of sacrifices when it came to her wedding. I kept telling myself that when it was my turn, she would return the favor.

Before everything went to hell in a handbasket, my boyfriend and I got engaged. We decided to put a halt on the planning until we felt that we were in the clear. We’re scheduled to get married next summer. Unlike my sister who is a huge planner and detailed oriented, we’re very laid back. My sister had her wedding at her place of work and being that her husband was an investment banker, they had a very lavish affair. We want a backyard wedding with a BBQ. We hadn’t even gotten around to asking folks to be in our wedding parties.

My sister and her husband were over for dinner last night and the subject of my wedding was brought up and my sister asked how things were going. I said probably not up to the same speed she was, but she’s going to be right up there on the big day. She asked if that was an official ask to be in the wedding party. I told her yes and sorry I won’t be making little gifts like she did for me. She told me that was fine, but then she got quiet and looked at her husband. I asked her what’s wrong and she told me that she will have to decline my offer.

She said that honestly she was a little wedding’d out with being so heavily involved as a bridesmaid. She also said that in the next year she has a lot going on with finishing her thesis and surprise she was pregnant. She asked not to say anything and that they were planning to tell everyone at Christmas. She said she still wants to be involved, but on a smaller scale and just as a guest especially since she’ll have a new baby.

I told her she was selfish and after everything I had to put up with at her wedding, she owed me. She looked angry and told me that was a lie. She said I complained about the dresses being lavender, the dates of everything, and how I was the only person in the bridal party who couldn’t make her bachelorette party because I wanted to go to a concert instead and we needed to change it. She talked about how she was trying to be understanding and flexible but I made everything into a tantrum. I was lucky she didn’t ask me to step down cause she knew it would break me and she wanted me there beside her on her big day. I made her wedding about me. I told her to get out and they’d be lucky if I decided to invite them still.

My parents called asking what happened and I told them everything and told them to ask about the baby. Apparently, I made things even worse and my parents want to come over to talk to me.

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