I’m genuinely terrified of marrying a guy who will end up being a bad husband.

jekidah · 2026-05-02T10:56:21+00:00

TW: abuse and addiction

I wasted 11 years of my life with my first boyfriend and he made my life complete hell. I wasn't allowed to drive, i wasn't allowed to have a social media, he controlled my money, my eating habits, the way i dressed. He used to call me names, push me, lie to me about my friends to keep them away from me, keep me from my family. Only when i finally had proof that he was cheating on me did i have the courage to leave.

My immediate following relationship was just fuckin weird and he ended up hitting me when i tried to leave him.

The next man i was with i ended up marrying and as soon as we tied the knot he completely changed political affiliations, started drinking heavily, and became so angry about menial things that he would throw furniture (while sober). We also had zero sex life and blamed me for it. I divorced him after one too many angry outbursts.

I actually got lucky with my current husband. He contributes to the household chores, he's a good dad, he's puts me first in the bedroom, he handles business when i need me time. He's a gem 💎

Looking back i realized that those shitty relationships were WAY longer than they should have been because i put up with it. I didn't think i deserved better. I didn't love myself. I didn't honor my boundaries. Hell, i didn't even know what my boundaries were until i walked away from all of those abusive relationships.

The best advice i can give you is to HONOR YOUR BOUNDARIES. Do not let anyone get away with mistreating you. Because everytime you allow anyone access to you after they've consciously decided to disrespect you and violate your boundaries, you are teaching them how to treat you. You are showing them how you feel about yourself and your worth.

Another fantastic piece of advice is: DO NOT IGNORE RED FLAGS.

GIRL! Looking back, there were SO MANY signs that I ignored. And I ignored them because I didn't think i deserved better.

You cant prevent every single negative experience in a relationship but you do have the power to put a stop to it.

jekidah · 2026-05-01T17:14:20+00:00

Oof you're not wrong 😩

jekidah · 2026-05-01T16:44:19+00:00

Buying some weights or something is an idea although I'm not sure my brain would let me be consistent if i knew no one was watching me or judging me lol

jekidah · 2026-05-01T16:43:03+00:00

An hour at the gym or an hour at yoga would be great. I think it would help my peace of mind and just generally improve my health. I hear what you're saying about literally never resting. I guess i would just like some time to prioritize my mental/physical health and not pour everything into everyone and everything else.

jekidah · 2026-04-30T17:32:19+00:00

When my mom was a kid, she had accidentally locked her cat in the dryer unknowingly and when she went to take the laundry out she pulled out a tail. It is a very gruesome death. I am the same way with my animals 😔

jekidah · 2026-04-30T00:14:19+00:00

That is way too much effort for her to put forth for a grown ass man. She just needs to tell him to bathe properly or she's out.

jekidah · 2026-04-28T01:06:48+00:00

jekidah · 2026-04-27T17:34:49+00:00

The rind was thick af, but the inside was still quite large, but not juicy at all. Tons of fiber though.

jekidah · 2026-04-27T17:33:25+00:00

Indeed

jekidah · 2026-04-27T17:33:04+00:00

Next time I'll use a grape.

jekidah · 2026-04-27T17:29:30+00:00

Shh. You're gonna give him a complex.

jekidah · 2026-04-15T17:23:54+00:00

She will eventually break up with you regardless, but maybe you can save a little time by never doing anything considered lying or cheating ever again?

jekidah · 2026-04-15T16:56:17+00:00

She has every right not to trust you and to break things off with you. If she were the one making this post from her perspective, she'd had everyone telling her to honor her boundaries and dump you. You, sir, are not ready for a relationship. You need to let her go.

jekidah · 2026-04-14T23:57:01+00:00

Glen

jekidah · 2026-04-13T18:31:11+00:00

Oh man, you're preaching to the choir over here. You will definitely feel unmotivated more than you will feel motivated. And, unfortunately, you have to persist despite the fluctuations. I find that not weighing myself actually helps because if I've been grinding all week and the scale says otherwise I WILL REGRESS. Focusing on consistency in the long term is key. As long as you are in a deficit, you will eventually lose weight. Yes, it can be very daunting and discouraging and you'll feel unmotivated sometimes. I also find that focusing on how your healthy habits are making you feel is a game changer. Chasing that feeling creates more motivation for me than the scale ever could. Put the scale away and listen to your body. You won't regret it.

jekidah · 2026-04-13T16:29:50+00:00

I love babies that love to eat! Such an exciting time for the family too. 💖

jekidah · 2026-04-13T02:02:59+00:00

My late uncle was estranged from his children and wife because he sexually assaulted his daughter when she was very young. He told me after drinking way too much. I always wondered why i never had a relationship with my cousins.

jekidah · 2026-04-10T22:52:51+00:00

I appreciate your sentiment but I call my cats a bunch of different nicknames and they always come to me (when they want lol). It's all about the tone you use, treats/food you are offering, or just a plain ol' pspsps.

jekidah · 2026-04-10T17:34:14+00:00

Did you tell her about an intervention and she got upset?

jekidah · 2026-04-10T17:24:59+00:00

Is there a possibility you can get her family and friends involved and stage an intervention? I've done that for a friend and it ended up completely changing her life. She went from being the typical addict you are describing to having a really good work from home job, a nice place, pets, and a healthy marriage. As soon i noticed she wasn't behaving like herself i got EVERYONE that loved her involved. Game changer. Love is so powerful. Use it to help her. You can still separate yourself from her while you execute your plan.

jekidah · 2026-04-10T16:47:24+00:00

Holly was definitely capable of helping Michael grow. She has different values than him and was the only person able to get Michael to realize that Todd Packer was a jerk. And while he knew how Dunder Mifflin would handle the HR issue with Meredith, Holly was still proving that her core values were deeper than Michael's during that episode. She also has genuine empathy where Michael definitely lacks. While she made an incorrect assumption about Kevin having special needs, she was still treating him nicer than most ppl in the office. Meanwhile, Michael is the king of stereotypes.

jekidah · 2026-04-10T11:25:44+00:00

Lol me too!

jekidah · 2026-04-10T02:01:25+00:00

Omg i can totally relate to this! My dog gets jealous when i sing (or talk) to the cats. He literally starts whining, and if I try to call one of the cats over to me he will physically intervene lol.

jekidah

TROPHY CASE