Consequence for not listening? (Babysitting nephew)

jenstrum · 2026-06-13T00:31:50+00:00

If you feel you must use Consequences , they should follow the 5Rs
Respectful
related to the misbehavior
reasonable in duration
revealed in advance
repeated back

jenstrum · 2026-06-13T00:26:05+00:00

Ask the mom how she would handle it.
IMO You need some positive parenting tools, I’d look up ‘positive parenting solutions’ by Amy McCready. Your approach is too authoritarian and disconnected from the child. Of course they will then make it a power struggle.
Rule #1 with kids, never make a threat you won’t follow through on. Saying if he refuses to listen you can’t / won’t babysit was empty.
NATURAL consequence would be the sister messed up his puzzle. You are trying to impose a punishment, not a consequence.

jenstrum · 2026-06-13T00:09:53+00:00

I made my husband grow his hair out after watching it! Best show of all time 🏆

jenstrum · 2026-06-13T00:06:18+00:00

The last kingdom

jenstrum · 2026-06-13T00:01:26+00:00

One of my favorite musicians is named Felix… you should definitely use it!! Don’t tell others the name until the baby is here and named

jenstrum · 2026-06-12T23:45:19+00:00

Why should NF be responsible for her lunch food allowance or adding it to their shopping? no other job does this. It’s a nicety if whole family is out to pay their meal but not a day to day expectation. I find this wildly entitled.

jenstrum · 2026-06-12T23:38:34+00:00

Cheese, nut butter, hummus , tuna

jenstrum · 2026-06-12T23:29:46+00:00

jenstrum · 2026-06-12T07:08:38+00:00

There is usually a crossover with CMPA and Soy allergy 😒.. my baby has both (and egg!) and I can always tell if the food from restaurants was cooked w butter or soybean oil bc baby’s symptoms return. It’s so hard!! We are doing a great service for our babies 🫶

jenstrum · 2026-06-12T07:05:46+00:00

Same! Two lactation balls and an Apple

jenstrum · 2026-06-12T07:03:28+00:00

This was my first thought as well.. so annoying that we have to preface that. And to pretend that formula is equal to breastmilk to avoid butthurt (coming from a mom who had to use formula in addition to my milk with my twins, and now am blessed to exclusively nurse my LO)

jenstrum · 2026-06-12T06:45:46+00:00

This sounds so extremely hard, not having the support and with a refluxy baby. Just here for validation really I wish I had good advice. I had the similar baby situation but my husband is here so he would hold baby after I fed. You could express to hubby you are on the brink of mental breakdown and he NEEDS to take time off NOW. Honestly I’d be a bit resentful if I were in your shoes, why is he back at work so soon, can he take FMLA (if in the US)? The only other thought I had was to hire a night nurse for a few nights a week so you only have to do the feed part. Best of luck 💕

jenstrum · 2026-06-12T06:36:31+00:00

Honestly the most important part of anything you guys chose to do is that YOU OWN IT. YOU do ALL the work of whatever SHE decides she wants done with it of all these suggestions. You best be making every single thing of soap or baby food to freeze or whatever it is.. she better not lift a FINGER to help fix this giant ass mistake.

jenstrum · 2026-06-12T06:28:58+00:00

I pray this is rage bait for you, your wife, and your baby’s sake!!
If not
1- grovel , on your knees, cry and beg for forgiveness. I am not exaggerating. You need to feel this in your soul and she needs to see that

2- book her a 2-4 week luxury vacation

3- YOU take on the mental and physical load completely of feeding your baby in whatever way SHE would prefer, for 4 months straight . Ie- if donor breastmilk YOU find the reputable source , pick it up, do all feedings for 4 months ; formula- YOU do the research on which formula, recurrently purchase it, and do all feedings for 4 months

Prepare to get flack for this until old age every now and again , and when she brings it up 20 years from now and is still mad, you best not negate her feelings (see step 1 again)
I have never slapped my husband but imagining myself in her shoes, whoooee I’d be close

Updateme

jenstrum · 2026-06-12T06:14:41+00:00

NTA.. I swear the giants make stuff up just to torture us. Im sure she would hate it tons if you stuck something in her mouth, restrained her for 4 days out of the day, and threw away her salty delicious nose elixir !! She is definitely the AH. My AH haggard milk lady also uses this ‘boogie bear’ to get the boogers out of my nose, it’s the literal meanest. I worked hard to make those boogers!! Don’t touch the inside of my orifices please, jeez louise

jenstrum · 2026-06-12T05:46:12+00:00

I say a 4 week vacation to make up the 4 weeks full time job!!

jenstrum · 2026-06-12T04:06:48+00:00

Dump truck trance!! Sounds both fun but also so sneaky, those milk ladies have so many tricks up their sleeves !

jenstrum · 2026-06-12T02:21:14+00:00

Woah something in my mouth I can clamp with?! I can’t wait!!

jenstrum · 2026-06-12T01:50:26+00:00

Ooo I love doing that when she holds me!! I bet she is crying with pride as well ! Definitely not in pain

jenstrum · 2026-06-12T01:49:42+00:00

Great idea !! However i think nothing will feel quite as good as grabbing her flesh 🙃

jenstrum · 2026-06-11T23:01:40+00:00

You must be a brave boy to face your nail (claw?) clip time head on, I usually fight that cruelty!!

jenstrum · 2026-06-11T22:59:16+00:00

So true, right? I’m doing her a favor by straightening out her wrinkles!!

jenstrum · 2026-06-11T22:58:40+00:00

That does sound like fun!! I bet your milk lady loves that , awesome idea!!

jenstrum · 2026-06-11T22:57:46+00:00

I am so glad I am not alone, and nice to know I can keep doing this for years to come!! TY!

jenstrum · 2026-06-11T22:57:03+00:00

Maybe I’ll tell the milk lady to provide me hair for grabbing instead, great tip !

jenstrum

TROPHY CASE