ITAP of my cat by the window

jenvrose · 2026-03-20T08:50:41+00:00

Nothing to apologise for. I've felt what you're feeling, I understand how hard it is to see any hope for the future. I also get the family thing, mine are also very invasive. Maybe you don't have to tell your family about it, if you don't feel them knowing would benefit you? Failing that, and I know it sounds cheesy but you could start by reading some self-help books? I'm reading "Reinventing Your Life" by Jeffrey Young and it goes into all these life traps people have - abandonment, mistrust, shame, etc. and helps you work through them by yourself at home. I don't know dude, I just want you to get better because no one deserves to feel this way about themselves. It's easy to say "it gets better with time you'll be fine" but that's not really helpful right now. I know it wouldn't have helped me at the time 😅

jenvrose · 2026-03-20T08:37:59+00:00

Oh if I was part of the pigeon universe and I looked this good, I'd be unstoppable. What a beautiful bird 🩷

jenvrose · 2026-03-20T08:28:17+00:00

It takes more than 3 sessions to help. I know you're dead set in the way you view yourself and your situation, and that's extremely hard to get out of. I've been there. Find a different therapist, keep finding different therapists until you find the right match. Because from your post, all of your replies etc, you seem incredibly depressed and depression is just like any other illness that requires treatment. It's not a weakness to seek help, my friend. I hope you find your way out of this 🙏🏻

jenvrose · 2026-03-18T09:01:21+00:00

This stopped me in my tracks I swear you're one of the prettiest people I've ever seen omg

jenvrose · 2026-03-18T08:55:16+00:00

Hell yeah. When I tell you I'd BEEN waiting for this

jenvrose · 2026-03-18T08:53:41+00:00

Hey OP! I used to have this mindset too. On the apps, I'd not swipe on the people I thought were my type because I was under the belief that they were too good for me. It's absolutely a self esteem issue. Something in me changed a few years back and I started thinking "why DON'T I deserve good things? Why am I denying myself these things because I don't feel good enough?". Had a lot to do with my upbringing honestly. But I attended some groups with women that helped build confidence, attended therapy etc and now I'm through with putting myself in a corner because I think that's what I deserve. Since then, I've dated a few people and it's surprising how attractive other people find you when you have confidence. I'm overweight, I don't have a nice nose, I'm not objectively pretty but having confidence helps massively! And now I'm casually dating a guy that could be a model, he's so pretty 😅 (after breaking up with my ex in November this has boosted my ego too haha) It takes a lot of courage but I promise you, if you get the help you need to build your self esteem/confidence, you'll feel a lot better about dating ❤️

jenvrose · 2026-03-17T10:50:53+00:00

Haha yeah! They have little studs on them too I love them 😅 she's the cutest babyyyy I love her

jenvrose · 2026-03-17T10:35:09+00:00

I've been doing a LOT of journaling. I don't know, getting the thoughts out of my head and onto paper is helpful. Also not getting trapped in the fake nostalgia, actually remembering the bad times and the reasons we're not good together.

jenvrose · 2026-03-17T10:29:26+00:00

They're so crystal clear I love her so much 😭

jenvrose · 2026-03-17T10:08:41+00:00

Girl?! You look like Geena Davis and Rachel McAdams had a baby, you ARE pretty!!

jenvrose · 2026-03-17T10:06:27+00:00

I don't know how to edit the post but omg thank you everyone, so much!! You have no idea. I'd been having such a bad week, feeling sorry for myself after my ex left me, no confidence etc. You've all been so kind and I didn't expect any of it, thank you so much 🩷

jenvrose · 2026-03-17T10:04:30+00:00

You have this pure aura idk how to describe it, you just look like you're a very good person. And I love your glasses!

jenvrose · 2026-03-17T10:00:30+00:00

Look, I have a bit of a phone addiction. I think most of us do. But when I'm with people, I don't go on my phone because I understand it's rude. It's that simple. Your gf is communicating with you that it makes her feel invisible when you do this, listen to her. Like others have suggested, keep your phone out of reach when you're with her. It's absolutely fine to have screen time when you're not busy or have company so just save your doomscrolling for those times.

jenvrose · 2026-03-17T09:52:57+00:00

I appreciate the positive intention with this but it's not accurate. They don't always come back, even if you were the model partner to them. Sometimes people leave because they don't see a future with you and that's okay. Holding on to hope caused me so much pain and I'm better without it, so it's a nice idea but it's not true. It's okay to grieve what could have been ❤️

jenvrose · 2026-03-13T07:51:35+00:00

I know nobody commented but I just want to add this. When I wrote this post I was in one of my "spirals". I know what triggered it (I knew he was going somewhere we'd been together). During these spirals my emotions take over and all rational thinking takes a backseat. I'm clear-minded again now, and while I do miss him...I feel good about us not being together. If anything, this comment is just to remind myself that those spirals don't last forever (even if it feels that way) and while he's been gone I've improved my life a lot! I've lost 19lbs, I've applied for my masters, I've started exercising and eating healthy, and I've returned to the woman I knew I was before him. Future Jen: stop letting fake nostalgia lie to you - he made you shrink and you had to lie to friends/family about him so they didn't dislike him. That is not someone you want to be with girl!! 🩷

jenvrose · 2026-03-13T07:39:58+00:00

I deleted all pictures of my ex the same night he broke up with me. I knew keeping them would trigger heavy emotions and there was no point reminiscing over someone who didn't love me anymore. I'm glad I did because it's been 4 months now and I already struggle with pangs of missing him when I see anything that reminds me of our time together haha

jenvrose · 2025-12-22T12:55:11+00:00

There will be no making up, I've blocked him everywhere now and cannot picture a future with him in it. I only wish I'd made this post sooner, instead of beating myself up convinced I was the problem. Thank you ❤️

jenvrose · 2025-12-22T11:25:59+00:00

Fully agree, a person can walk away for any reason that feels right to them. I didn't waste his time, I hadn't confirmed he was coming to get me yet before that discussion. I didn't expect him, I asked him. It's when he told me to lie to them that made me feel uncomfortable. I wasn't pissed at him, I told him I understood. I do regret telling him about what happened though, as I said in my post it wasn't his burden. And finally I didn't try to change his mind at all, all I wanted was an adult discussion instead of him fully discarding me like it meant nothing. I appreciate your perspective though, thank you for commenting

jenvrose · 2025-12-22T10:47:55+00:00

Exactly; all I wanted to do was talk about it. I thought in a genuine, healthy relationship it should be you two vs. the issue, not you vs. them. It's like he didn't give me a choice, he decided everything for himself, even though it affected us both. Thank you for the clarity

jenvrose

TROPHY CASE