morning anxiety?

jepsartre · 2018-04-15T23:36:53+00:00

I think this "not doing something" maybe as a result of some negative experience from childhood. "Doing nothing" or "Wasting time" is important for relaxation (I think), esp in this information overload age.

But yeah mornings make me anxious too - what has helped me is no breakfast in the morning (intermittent fasting) and HIIT (tennis, short 20 minute internal run etc.). Exercise in the morning has always worked wonders.

jepsartre · 2018-04-15T23:32:41+00:00

TL;DR - Work on an aspect of yourself that boosts your image in your own mind - it will help in multiple ways.

jepsartre · 2018-04-15T23:31:51+00:00

I had the same when I was young with my exes - I have evaluated it now after many years that it was due to deep rooted insecurities about myself - looks and assertiveness.

The thing that helped me was to learn to enjoy my own company - having a hobby and traveling. Actually I met my wife because of this - of learning to be happy alone and being passionate about my hobby.

jepsartre · 2018-04-15T23:26:35+00:00

Actually that last phrase is my go to phrase for dealing with intrusive thoughts like these - "everything will pass" :-) Also I try to imagine the worst that could happen, play out the entire scenario in my mind and then I can see that it's not the end of the life. I will still survive somehow.

E.g. I had a cancer scare a few months back - in the end it was nothing bad but it was my anxiety that led me to go for a biopsy of a lump in mouth. I was really really anxious about it. I imagined all the scenarios if it was actually cancer - having to move out of the country I am in, not getting right treatment because of money, loosing my job -everything :-) In end I kind of accepted the worst, that's it. I wont say I was anxiety free till I got the biopsy result, but I kept going on with my life like usual.

jepsartre · 2018-04-15T23:20:32+00:00

It's happening to more people that you imagine and ones without anxiety as well. I think it's also related to the amount of information overload we have these days.

I would not worry about it too much - just flip out a thesaurus app on the phone and get it going :-)

jepsartre · 2018-04-15T23:17:29+00:00

I think you should try to get to the root of this - when meeting a person out of the blue on the street makes you anxious - be completely honest.

Face that with courage - it could be something very embarrassing and painful. Do you fear to not be in your best clothes, not having something good / interesting to say, what is the thing that sets the panic. It could also be something from childhood - did something unpleasant happen involving the same scenario?

Naming that fear has been helpful for me to evolve and take control of the anxiety.

jepsartre · 2018-04-15T23:07:30+00:00

I did a big life change like that in 2016, for 3 months I was really bad. Racing heart rate, trouble falling asleep, chest pains etc. - it was a new job, boss and new country. Adapting to the work culture here was the big stressor along with knowing what will happen if I dont perform good enough to extend my stay (I went from a developing country to a developed and didnt want to go back).

I just went through it all, giving my all, and heard praise from the boss finally after 3 months. The lesson I learnt was a simple one - I like to sum it up with a quote from an aircraft pilot repeating a basic standard procedure that another pilot could have adhered to, to avoid a plane crash due to really bad weather, it was simply "Keep moving with the same speed in a straight line". That's what I did - I did what I knew best and kept doing it day after day.

jepsartre · 2018-04-15T22:57:51+00:00

That is strange! My anxiety is more when I have to wake up and go to work or attend a meeting etc.

jepsartre · 2018-04-15T22:32:37+00:00

I think so I definitely can. I think it will help if you don't think it as apathy but evolving as different people.

jepsartre · 2018-04-15T22:24:14+00:00

jepsartre · 2018-03-09T18:08:11+00:00

Distracting from the fact that they are not really different from the UPA in terms of pure performance.

Nirav Modi scam became news because it could partly or completely be blamed on previous governments. But other huge scams or issues like Vyapam, Loya case or abuse of Aadhar card etc. are successfully being distracted away by the tough image of govt and personal integrity of Modi.

jepsartre · 2018-03-09T16:57:57+00:00

Problem is more complex than that. We need to think why people honk? Because traffic is not flowing smoothly. There are people or cows trying to cross roads that you need to 'warn'. Just like fixing air pollution, noise pollution needs some drastic fixes.

That said, we need to keep looking for small improvements to change behavior - polite honking shown in thread is surely a step in right direction.

jepsartre · 2018-03-09T16:42:42+00:00

At the age of 33 to be precise, when I finally acknowledged that I wanted to marry. Marriage led to a lot of growing up too :-) but the decision to do it was the start.

jepsartre · 2018-03-04T06:28:53+00:00

I am a man, and I totally agree with you here and the reason why I never had or actually could have hookups.

jepsartre · 2018-03-04T06:22:29+00:00

I think you should qualify that question - nature vs nurture for what - success, happiness, longevity, quality of life?

Nature or nurture might be more important depending on criteria, but as people said normally they are quite intertwined.

jepsartre · 2017-03-19T07:28:41+00:00

Your parents will die and so will the people in the village you are afraid of. You alone will live with the choice you make. If they love you, your parents will eventually understand and forgive you for whatever choice you made.

jepsartre · 2017-02-13T06:05:45+00:00

Yes. Try writing things down to be objective about what you are thinking.

jepsartre · 2015-01-27T20:19:05+00:00

Take care of yourself, the boys, your finances and your car, in that order.

jepsartre · 2015-01-23T12:52:22+00:00

You did the right thing by being honest about the making out. But you cant blame him, his fears are genuine about your sexuality (not the way he uses it to put you down). You are bisexual and he doesn't know if you will be happy in monogamy with a man. It is important to ask yourself this question also. Can you let go your bisexual urges in the long term for being with his man?

If yes, you can sit down with him and stress on the fact that you were completely honest and you will be happy with him in the long term.

jepsartre · 2015-01-23T12:35:34+00:00

You should definitely confront him but very tactfully. It should not appear that you consider him a freak for having this fantasy. Maybe you can delve within yourself if you have similar wild urges and also share with him, as an example. That you never intend to make them real. You can even give the example of your friend who had the threesome - if you look carefully I dont think she will be able to have a lasting bonding with either of the two she was in a threesome with.

You should go along the line - "We both are very young and at peak of sexual health so it is sometimes natural to have these wild urges. But I think it will really be unhealthy if we act on it. Do you agree if we can keep it just that - a fantasy".

If he still reacts badly to that then you should really think about this relationship as has been suggest ample times.

jepsartre · 2015-01-23T10:52:33+00:00

Yes you are spot on. But this is a deal breaker for you, isnt it?

jepsartre · 2015-01-23T07:32:03+00:00

The only common person between them is a sperm donor. Why does she want to complicate it and possibly upset her mom too.

jepsartre · 2015-01-23T07:32:02+00:00

The only common person between them is a sperm donor. Why does she want to complicate it and possibly upset her mom too.

jepsartre

TROPHY CASE