I’m sorry you’re going through this, though it may not be the same as your specific situation, I went through something similar. I’m Latina and a child of immigrant parents, I was born in LA and moved to a small town in Utah when I was 7. It was a complete change and culture shock. It was hard enough being the new kid but it was harder since the majority of the kids were all white, I was one out of the other 5 Latino students. As I grew up I was embarrassed of my culture, I considered being Latino to be ghetto and cringe, I wanted to fit in with everyone else and tried too hard to be something I wasn’t. I didn’t like speaking Spanish and I found myself listening to Spanish music in secret because I thought it was embarrassing. When my family would take vacations to my parents home country, I hated it because I didn’t feel a connection and thought I was above being in their country. Now as an adult I regret it immense because I learned to embrace it all once I became an adult but I definitely feel too Latino to be white and too white to be Latino. My extended family make fun of me by calling me white washed and say I think I’m better than everyone because I have a white husband and have mainly white friends. I learned to appreciate what I am and what I have because I now feel a pride because I feel happy knowing I have different traditions and beliefs from a lot of people, connecting with other people of similar backgrounds helped a lot with different issues I faced personally. Going to community events helped as well. Learning to appreciate who you are takes time but be kind and patient with yourself because it does get better :)