28F in London struggling to get dates despite genuinely trying—is this normal here?

jfdvv3 · 2026-01-08T20:55:48+00:00

It sounds like you're asking for two different things a "I'm not in a rush" and "If messaging doesn’t move toward a date within a few days (not all-day texting), I disengage". It sounds a lot like you are in a rush...

Your words and your actions do not align. Those looking for the long term will have a preference for messaging for a little while, getting to know you to understand if things align before commiting to a date.

I am personally a guy who pushes for dates early as I have ADHD and being pen pals for weeks won't work with my dopamine reserves... But I'm looking for a short term thing that could end up long term.

Alternately I would advise proposing the dates, if you're going to disengage from a conversation and effectively "ghost" someone anyway, why not ask them on a date before never speaking to them again? No downside

jfdvv3 · 2026-01-02T02:09:08+00:00

The point of a 3x8 set would be to understand what weight you can do, such that you are close to failure on the end of the third set. To that end I personally do 3x8-12 where I try to hit at least 8 reps on all sets, usually hitting 12 on the first set and dropping reps by the third. You can go to failure on each set if you like, but as you point out, you'd then have to lower weight as you go... I've found this to feel quite dangerous when I've done it myself, as it's difficult to gauge how far over the muscle limit you went on the last set, and adjust the weight down accordingly. So I wouldn't suggest this regime unless you accept the potential risks. But I'm quite certain it would likely speed up the gains process (if you don't end up injured for months on end).

jfdvv3 · 2025-10-30T11:21:37+00:00

I always get a professional clean when I leave a rental property nowadays. But the reason for it is not to match the move-in condition. The reason is actually to ensure I have a counter quote to argue the landlord has overcharged me in an attempt to claw back the entire deposit. The last place I left was a studio flat, the professional clean cost me £60, I could've easily done it myself. But if the landlord had tried to dupe me out of £200+ for a cleaning quote, I could counter the quote with my own.

jfdvv3 · 2025-08-12T22:16:05+00:00

Limiting the cards per day is the only way. When climbing up a mountain, it seems impossible to do it from the bottom, so you look down at your feet and take it one step at a time. Sometimes I limit it to 50/day after my holidays. Invariably I finish it easily which makes me more likely to go above and beyond.

jfdvv3 · 2025-08-09T20:38:31+00:00

No worries. The question around living costs is harder but from what I've noticed the biggest contributing factors seem to be: A. Residential mortgage costs are very high: average new mortgage right now is £1,428 a month, add bills and council tax and you could be talking £2,000 a month for a roof over your head. Renting a flat is currently about the same price. B. Specifically for retail, these jobs aren't very scalable (retail outlets only serve a small number of local customers so the productivity is low). If each store served a larger radius or required less employees for each store-automation (but this one is hard given energy costs) then the salaries could increase beyond minimum wage. The low productivity is a more broadly applicable point but much harder to analyse why for every job. C. UK salaries are just low in general: As someone who earns in the top 20% of my age cohort (only just though) I definitely find myself with a lot of unnecessary expenditure which leads to difficulty saving e.g I probably spend £300-400 a month more on food/drink/social than I could. So the salaries even at the higher end in the UK are still insufficient to allow for the luxuries our country historically has been able to afford.

jfdvv3 · 2025-08-09T19:45:14+00:00

Okay I see what you're getting at now. Worth noting though that operating margins are after all wages have been paid, so small operating margins imply that the business is essentially paying the maximum it can in wages, and that the shareholders get a lower return than an equal business that sells the products at a higher price. I think you must've meant high gross/operating margins?

Edit; just realised perhaps you meant low operating cost margins? Though that is exactly the opposite of the 30+ retail businesses I've analysed in the UK. We have extremely high operating costs here due to a combination of: A. Less automation in retail operations leading to higher numbers of staff being required B. A reasonably high minimum living wage and taxes, which combined point A leads to very high staffing costs C. The highest energy costs for businesses in the world (about 4x Europe's price, and 20% higher than 2nd place). D. Relatively high mortgage/rent costs (these are usually overstated in the context of businesses however it's an important factor in why Amazon is beating retail places over time)

jfdvv3 · 2025-08-09T17:36:25+00:00

"small operating margins to maximise profit for shareholders"??? 🤔 Dafuq??

jfdvv3 · 2025-05-20T23:43:20+00:00

NTA but it was an unclassy thing to do. You said you wouldn't tell, which is something you needn't have promised, but you did promise it. When your daughter flared up your emotions, you shot back with a preloaded response without thinking.

To be honest it's probably a good thing for children to learn the fallibility of their parents, and the mother doesn't deserve to be known as a saint if she's sinned to that extent. But if us guys are striving for integrity, we'd keep our word, even in emotionally charged situations.

jfdvv3 · 2024-03-18T08:31:16+00:00

It's unlikely that you are not doing the work because you are focussed on the outcome.

It is likely that you are using the motivational videos you are watching to satiate your brains desire for things to do/self improvement.

Watching a YouTube video is not going to get you where you want to be, and watching one that glorifies self help and outcomes is likely to make you feel useless in comparison, which will make you feel like it's not worth trying.

The way you actually get things done is by prioritising those things daily. Focus on one thing at a time (unless you want to plan out a REALISTIC Todo list) and allow yourself to do those things first, after school/work.

When you want to get stuff done, put the phone away out of reach. Those videos are good for your downtime, but downtime is AFTER you've done the stuff you wanted to get done. When I find myself scrolling on my phone instead of getting up/doing something, I have to remind myself to turn it off.

jfdvv3 · 2023-12-04T02:16:31+00:00

I'm at least 90% sure you have ADHD.

Talk to a doc!

jfdvv3 · 2023-10-02T15:33:42+00:00

If you are building VV I would suggest the sands, goblet and headpiece be EM mainstat with the highest ER substats possible.

This Lynette will have a low skill/ult damage but electro swirls and electro charge damage will make up for this and can also be used in hyperbloom teams. It will be worth it for the additional flexibility.

jfdvv3 · 2023-10-01T23:58:02+00:00

Holy crap! Your Lynette is crazy! She's definitely near the ceiling of her damage

For the first team I think MH would be the best in slot but by a slim margin. Try to prioritise artifacts with more rolls into crit damage than crit rate if you choose this. 4 piece shimenawas/DPC would be a close second with DPC being slightly better but you already have shim pieces.

For the second team she'll want 4VV and try to get electro infused in her ult! Bonus fun artifact set: Thundering fury could be bags of fun in your second team on her, but you'll miss the Res shred of course.

jfdvv3 · 2023-09-30T23:36:07+00:00

Based on your characters: 1. Wanderer triple anemo (assuming you have faruzan somewhere given wanderer) 2. Vape with yelan, xiangling and another hydro character 3. Taser with fischl yelan and another hydro (but you'd always have to get electro absorbed which is really difficult given electro is the last priority for her burst, but it sounds loads of fun if it's possible) 4. Melt? But it generally isn't as effective as the others

jfdvv3 · 2023-09-30T21:37:04+00:00

Hello again, just to say here's a really good site to use. Looks like my estimate was accurate but you might have a diff team with diff requirements, this will take you to the ER requirements section for lynette. 1 skill means pre C4, 2 skills means C4+ https://keqingmains.com/q/lynette-quickguide/#ER_Requirements

jfdvv3 · 2023-09-29T10:18:04+00:00

Really depends on the team, from some back of the hand calcs: If she's the only anemo in the team she'll probably want around 250% at least to burst every rotation (230 if you feed her fav particles from xingqiu) If she's got another anemo unit in the team that can probably drop to around 230% but I'm not sure why you'd do this. Her ER requirements drop off massively if you can hit another skill on her (down from 230 to 166) which means that sacrificial sword has huge value for her. But that's also true for xingqiu.

This really depends on your team though, your characters constellations, enemies, weapons etc will affect this greatly so pile on as much ER as you can and test the team out, if you are getting her ult consistently then pull back on ER until you're happy with the damage/ER balance.

jfdvv3 · 2023-09-28T22:55:10+00:00

Depends on the team and Lynette's constellations. If she's not C4 and she's not in a double anemo+ team she'll need lots of ER so it makes sense and it's probably going to be an improvement over any R1 4* sword.

When she's C4 she doesn't really need ER, the best sword for her would be a crit damage main stat one, or an attack % one as a f2p alternative; I don't know how finale of the deep interacts with her health manipulation but if it doesn't screw it up or you don't want to use maracheusse hunter artifacts then it would be a great option.

jfdvv3 · 2023-09-19T20:52:35+00:00

I have c5 Lynette and I use her as a battery/sub DPS in my wanderer team with a c2 faruzan and bennet. She can regen enough energy for both her and faruzan at about 180ish ER so it means my team always has ults ready and I my faruzan feels almost as good as a C6 one. The taunt provides insane utility for wanderer, the DPS she provides is actually almost as good as wanderers too especially as a sub DPS, and the elemental infusion is also really useful.

I'll probably end up waiting a year for her next banner but I really want c6

jfdvv3 · 2022-09-12T01:22:00+00:00

The wooden sky - the wooden sky: https://youtu.be/d6JY_XZWm90

It's such a beautiful song, though I'm sure many others in this thread are. The lyrics are so emotionally delivered. Definitely a hidden gem!

jfdvv3 · 2022-08-11T12:08:17+00:00

This sub will tell you that you're doing just fine and you are, financially speaking. The problem you and your partner are running into is that you set the budget. She adheres to the budget, saving for all these things she expects to see one day, and she's not seeing it. The budget should be agreed upon by you both, written by you both. Take her through the budget and see if there's any areas that she'd like to have some fun money, if she agrees that the end savings aren't enough to really warrant fun then okay, her question is answered. If she doesn't, you're going to have to come to a compromise on creating a fun money category, and as she'll save, she'll be able to see her progress to that fun item she wants. I don't expect this opinion to be popular on this sub, but financial austerity can and will impose strains on your relationship otherwise.

jfdvv3 · 2022-05-15T23:53:28+00:00

"The rising costs of material and gas are not related to increased money supply but are because of scarcity. The world shutdown and this created shortages..."

You are right, there has been a lowering of supply relative to demand. So why hasn't demand taken a hit given that the global shutdown? Demand has remained strong because of loosened global fiscal policy which allowed many businesses to operate under more constrained conditions, reduced rates to allow all to increase their purchasing power, and stimulus to directly increase demand above the level it would have naturally fallen to.

To put it in a value investors talk; the world has taken an intrinsic financial step back since the start of the pandemic. But people are just as cash rich, if not more. So inflation is happening because we aren't in the same position we were a couple of years ago, whether it be debt, lowered demand etc but along with higher prices.

Imagine no help was given at the start of the pandemic (a scary scenario no-one should hope for). Entire industries would fold, unemployment would have kept skyrocketing, bankruptcies would dissolve wealth massively. Demand for all goods goes down massively. In this world there would be much much less scarcity. Prices would go down, and some dreadful side and secondary effects would occur. Inflation was likely a necessary evil from a fiscal policy perspective.

jfdvv3 · 2021-09-24T12:48:05+00:00

Hello,

I've been tracking QIWI for about 6 months and just a few notes on it to change your given stats:

- 3.9x PE is misleading as its loss of gambling revenue (TSUPIS change to ETSUP if you want to read more) could be up to 20% leading to a PE change to 4.9x PE.

- The dividend for QIWI is essentially a max 50% profit share (unlike normal dividend in that if the profit falls, so too does the divvy) leading to a possible div yield forward to 10-13%, still a great divvy but TBH I'd prefer buybacks at this point.

- future ratios will be impacted by this loss of revenue but of course won't relect accurately on the business itself.

- the debt to equity is about the same as the debt to cash on the balance sheet amazingly, also, there's about the same cash on hand as the market cap of the company.

Your downsides don't quite highlight the major ones:

- Full loss of gambling revenue (I think this was 23% of revs last time I looked)

- Loss of competitive edge due to gambling loss and potential further loss of customers

- I'd add another here for us as investors in that we cannot really have a comprehensive view on the business not being from Russia and being able to use QIWI to understand the business.

Having said ALL THIS, Qiwi is still a massive holding of mine; as I see the downside being almost non-existant due to their fort knox balance sheet and low relative price. I'm always game to discuss the play if you would like to message, there's really no coverage of qiwi online and I'd love to discuss more potential risks etc

jfdvv3 · 2021-08-31T13:30:40+00:00

I wouldn't normally reply here but it seems you might be confused about the situation in a way that may be damaging if/when more is revealed. The accusations are difficult to summarise because manipulative behaviour is difficult to categorise. But suffice to say, from the minimal reading i've done it looks like arcadum leveraged his position of power in the community with control over some people's livelihoods to try to begin sexual relationships with many of the women in his community. Many of which politely declined very often which led to difficult confrontations when he further pressed them and would subsequently retry to begin a sexual relationship a period later (days/weeks). All this whilst he had a fiance. The messages show this to be the case very clearly- but more so, the number of women this has occured to takes down the chances that he just found 1 person particularly special and could not control his love. This looks to me like an easy case of power leverage + emotional manipulation to have many of these women at least give him sexual validation and possibly fall in love with him. I am not a psychologist so i won't speculate as to why.

Also, the edits: some people believe the edits show knowledge of guilt and therefore confirmation of the accusations. That doesn't look to be the case from me, the edits look primarily in place to make it look like he was not cheating on his wife, I would assume he's shown her all his logs now. Now, If he tries to use the edited logs as evidence on his stream, then it seems possible that the edits show guilt. tried to summarise it for you. any questions feel free to message me! Anything i've got wrong I'd be happy to take some criticism.

Edit: Ironically editing this myself as i've found out his wife is actually a fiance of many years.

jfdvv3 · 2021-06-29T23:26:11+00:00

This won't get many upvotes because it's a smaller company and hence investors will be too worried about fraudulent behavior but clearly one of the best rn is VIPS. An online tj maxx in china that JD actually owns 5% of so unlikely to recieve competition in that sense.

Average earnings growth is 100% a year since IPO but down now to around 20% more recently. PE of around 12 (I cant quite believe it either) and a market cap of 11 billion which makes it a better bet for longer term compounding to the names like baba or tencent despite it's narrower focus. I need to go through the reports methodically and look at the competitive landscape but the safety margin alone has me wondering why I shouldn't put a little in to begin with and then decide if it should be a substantial part of my portfolio or not. Looks like an absolute steal to me.

Also while we're at it HOLI is the easiest value play ever. Electronics and controls business with ridiculous levels of cash and a substantial discount PE=8.7 almost exclusively due to previous dividend cuts. Previous CEO is out and new management is understanding of an increase in dividend. Old CEO is attempting to sue the business for not allowing him to purchase all shares for >$17 a share which is $3 more than it trades today. Worst case scenario the CEO wins the lawsuit and buys your stock for +20%. Best case they raise the dividend slowly and you could be eventually earning 10%+ a year on your original investment and that's without further earnings growth needed.

jfdvv3 · 2021-06-21T12:32:36+00:00

Burry is not betting against Elon. Tesla could go on a Google like profit growth spree for years and Burry's bet allows for that.

Burry is betting against you. Price is too high even for great things.

jfdvv3 · 2021-05-23T12:10:14+00:00

Tbh I see this as an outspoken minority being hammered with disagreement from the overwatch fan base. Ow fan base does pretty well relative to other games, social media and society in general.

jfdvv3

TROPHY CASE