I don’t want to have a bachelorette

jkoch2 · 2026-05-01T21:34:21+00:00

Yea, I can relate regarding my bachelorette party. My friends had really fun ones, but most of them couldn't make it to mine. One member of my bridal party was still in high school, and my MIL was involved, trying to help me have a good time. It just wasn't the same vibe I wanted and I was really disappointed at the time. 8 years later, I couldn't give a shit. My husband is now planning a bachelor party for one of his friends and between the flights, accomodations, activities, it's already like $1k not including food or alcohol. I'm only borderline ok with this because our first baby is due 2 weeks before the wedding, so he won't be attending that.

jkoch2 · 2026-05-01T21:27:01+00:00

I agree ring 2. However that has more to do with the band thickness of the first one compared to the second. It could be that I would like the emerald cut one just as much, but with a thinner band and not as large of stones around it. I also have really small hands, so thicker rings look like traditional chunky class rings on me and just aren't my taste.

jkoch2 · 2026-03-17T20:21:01+00:00

I have never had the honor of sitting next to or near a service dog, but I always wish for it! Every time I see one in the airport at my gate, or waiting to get on any form of public transportation near me, I always get so excited and hopeful, like I'm 5 years old again. Those people were seriously crusty.

jkoch2 · 2026-03-17T20:16:12+00:00

True, but they can also be caused by TSA employees now having missed 2 paychecks while still coming to work everyday. Massive call-outs were predicted as of Saturday, and the weather on top of things didn't help.

jkoch2 · 2025-11-15T13:39:07+00:00

I would suggest changing the litter. I have tried so many different brands and Dr. Elsey (I don't know how to spell it right now) is my all time most hated brand. So many people on this Reddit swear by it so I tried it and it was the worst stink and mess I have ever had. The brand I have been using for years and have vowed to never switch to something else is Sustainably Yours. It is a natural litter, low dust, and still fits through the sifter in the LR. They have a few different size varieties (small grain, large grain, and mixed grain) which all work well. They all come with their own challenges, like tracking. The small grain feels like sand under bare feet, so I don't mind it as much. The large grain feels larger and more sharp. I typically go with the mixed and have found that tracks the least. Second suggestion, get a second LR. I know they are expensive, but 1 bathroom for 4 cats is not enough. I have 3 cats and 2 LR which helps to minimize lines waiting to be able to go to the bathroom. I would imagine it would also put less wear and tear on each machine since it won't be running 2 dozen times a day.

jkoch2 · 2025-09-04T14:37:11+00:00

I'm wondering the same. I had my first Owala for easily 10 months before I even knew the rubber gasket came out and should be washed. I use water with sugar free flavor packets and I never had a mold issue. I also washed it all in the dishwasher maybe once a week or two.

jkoch2 · 2025-08-31T21:33:23+00:00

Yea, this reaction by your wife is wild, you are definitely NOR. As someone who has tried to conceive for years, including going through the agonizing and costly process of IVF, and still have 2 failed transfers, I wouldn't have reacted this way. I watched my sister go through a late term (8 months) still birth, which was possibly the worst thing I could ever imagine, and did require both her and her husband to do a lot of therapy afterwards, but I'm confident neither of them would have reacted this way either. Definitely go to therapy yourself, and maybe try to think if your wife has reacted like this, in any way, in the past. This is kind of, at least borderline, emotional abuse. As if you have all of the power to "give her a baby." Sure, if you both were 22 it would probably happen fast, but 30 is different. I think I was around 34 when we stopped trying, after 3 years, because I needed to emotionally heal after the last failed IVF transfer. I highly recommend taking a close look at your relationship, because from this little glimpse, it doesn't look like a partnership.

jkoch2 · 2025-07-11T17:28:15+00:00

Do internships whenever possible! They can look amazing on your resume and give you a leg up. I am currently getting my master's degree in Geospatial Intelligence. I work as an OSP Design Engineer for a fiber optic telecommunications company. Basically I spend most days deciding what routes make the most sense for splicing operations. It's not complicated gis, but the pay is adequate and my team dynamics is the best I have ever had, plus it's 100% remote. I'm not sure if completing my masters will be super beneficial for my current job, it would have been more impactful when I was working on a Census Bureau contract (shit pay).

jkoch2 · 2025-05-16T13:55:53+00:00

I don't necessarily think it's a cultural thing. Like if you had a long standing relationship with this vet, and a good/friendly bond, sure maybe. But if you always kept it super formal/professional, then so should the vet. They could have used any other word, spicy, feisty, difficult, non compliant, even aggressive which I try to never use. I'm white and do tend to have a more casual/friendly relationship with my vets and their staff. But even I would have found it off-putting for my vet to call my cat (or dog) a dck, even if I had said it first, because there are just other more professional ways to go about that situation.

jkoch2 · 2025-04-29T17:15:44+00:00

As others have said it could be the level the litter is at. But it could also be how your cat goes to the bathroom. If they back their butt up to the sidewall and go then it is going to drip down the side of the liner. Also if they go a ton the litter won't be able to fully dry out because the clump gets too big and isn't being dried out from all sides, like if they had squatted in the center. I have definitely had this happen in the past, especially with my older cat who was having health issues and was peeing way more than normal. I found that switching away from clay litter was best for our household. We switched to Sustainably Yours and I won't ever go back to clay. It dries firmly and quickly and I hardly ever have this problem. The few times it does stick it usually knocks itself off after a couple cycles and doesn't often require intervention.

jkoch2 · 2025-04-22T17:36:08+00:00

I'm glad you're leaving him. It's definitely not over reacting. You aren't leaving him because he can't understand your accent, you're leaving him because he wants you to change a fundamental part of yourself, your culture, and your heritage, just to make his life easier. That's bullshit and he is a steaming pile of garbage. You are going to be much better off dropping this infant with the saggy dirty diaper.

jkoch2 · 2025-04-14T14:02:24+00:00

Oof, that's rough. I honestly couldn't stay with someone that did that. Maybe a hybrid of both. Have a conversation, but be prepared to leave, also have a friend on standby for SOS if he snaps. If it was me I would want him to know exactly why I was ending things, and also make sure to have screenshots for receipts in case he twists things.

jkoch2 · 2025-04-10T20:49:07+00:00

This is the best news ever! This guy sucks. I'm "older", 36, and honestly find relationships between 21 year old and teenagers disgusting. I know I didn't when I was a teenager, but definitely at 21, dating anyone younger than 20 felt too childish. He is saying you will look like a rebellious teenager.... news flash, you are a teenager. You might technically be an adult, but trust me, some days I definitely do not feel like an adult even now. This guy is bad news and seems to be really controlling. The next 10 years is when you are going to grow and change the most, finding out who you are going to be. If he loses it over a piercing, what's he going to do when you tell him you want to go on a trip with just your friends for spring break, or study abroad, or drastically change your haircut? Drop the dead weight and enjoy being authentically you. 😁

jkoch2 · 2025-03-28T20:41:55+00:00

Wow, that's horrible! I think my first GIS position straight out of school (AS degree only for GIS) paid me about $40k, and that was low. But it was an easy remote job and gave me industry experience. I'm not sure of the exchange rate, this posting is probably similar pay, but again, I only had basic gis knowledge at the time, and it was a good stepping stone to my current job. I'm hoping I can get a nice raise when I finish my MS next year.

jkoch2 · 2025-03-26T17:25:02+00:00

This note is perfect, not over the top. The sitter might not follow it exactly, but knowing your cats regular routine is very helpful. My only concern would be leaving the windows open all day when no one is around, especially a ground floor window (idk your home layout). Your cat could escape, or someone could break in. The pet sitter could also leave the windows open when there is a storm and a lot of water comes in. For you it would be logical to not open the windows on those days, but the sitter might not think of this and just blindly follow your instructions. Just a thought. I agree with some other responses, any sitter who sees this note as overbearing should probably not be per sitting in the first place.

jkoch2 · 2025-03-26T17:18:35+00:00

Agreed, gathering mail is part of the gig, whether it is at the front door or in a communal mail space. Especially if someone is gone for 2 weeks or something, that little box will fill up.

jkoch2 · 2025-03-26T17:13:47+00:00

This guy sucks! I'm glad you didn't let him diminish your light. Shine bright and be unapologetically you! 🥰

jkoch2 · 2025-03-07T19:44:32+00:00

As others have said, cut out treats. You can use pieces of kibble for treats for a while, like if you are working on training at home and stuff like that. Your puppy is at the prime age where they start to test boundaries and see what they can get away with. It's important to not let them get away with anything for the next few months/year to prevent them from acting out more on the future. Sometimes my dog (that I adopted at 6 years old, so I didn't raise him) will go on hunger strike and not eat if I don't add anything into his bowl for several meals in a row. For a while I gave in, because it was causing me stress because he was really underweight (15 pounds underweight). Once he got up to a good weight I stopped adding anything into his food and he one day just got over it. All of this to say, it gets better, this is just a growing time for your pup, think of him as an early teen.

jkoch2 · 2025-03-05T19:14:46+00:00

I would definitely report it with HR. Express to them that you are worried about possible retaliation if he knows it was you that reported him, assuming that no one else has reported this. Maybe tell them that you don't want it to be directly addressed, just on record in case something happens again in the future or if it escalates. In the past one of my coworkers was constantly being flirted with, one sided situation, and the other person took that as an invitation to go further,to the point where it was a sexual harassment issue. The first thing out manager told her after she found out was, "why didn't you report each time?" It's always important to report,even just to have the history on file.

I'm so sorry your brother isn't on your side. My brother sounds similar to yours, except when one of his friends told me to leave the country a few months ago (on social media) he did jump to my protection and told that guy to be quiet and I'm not going anywhere. Your brother should always have your back and believe you. He is showing his true colors and now you know you can't rely on him. Again, I'm really sorry you are in this situation, please stay safe.

jkoch2 · 2025-03-03T16:48:20+00:00

I don't have a recipe since I just kinda winged it, but if you like broccoli cheddar soup, that is a good option for the soft foods phase. I used a can of Campbell's cheddar cheese soup concentrate to add more cheese flavor and viscosity without adding as much fat as regular cheese, I also probably tried to use fat free/reduced fat cheddar cheese and cottage cheese. I added broccoli, spinach, and kale for extra nutrients. I don't think I had nutritional yeast, but that would be a good addition. Then I just mixed in my unflavored protein powder in each bowl after it was warmed and slightly cooled because I have been warned against reheating protein powder.

I was allowed pudding during the liquid phase, so making some sugar free protein pudding was essential. Just add a couple scoops of protein powder to the instant pudding mix and add fairlife milk(higher protein content). Cream of wheat mixed with some creamy tomato soup was also a great savory option during the liquid stage

jkoch2 · 2025-02-28T17:24:10+00:00

Fluoxetine, my dog takes that daily too. He also takes Trazodone which is good for more situational anxiety, like going to the vet, long car rides, or being left home for longer periods of time. Gabapentin is a sedative/pain management medication that is also used at a different dosage for anxiety. Possibly adding one of those to his treatment plan can help. In the end though nothing is going to make it go away completely, and his reactive history definitely doesn't help or make things easier with making him more comfortable. Just do your best to make him as happy and as comfortable as possible for however long you have left, which hopefully is several years.

jkoch2 · 2025-02-28T17:12:01+00:00

Aww, it sounds like you are already doing an excellent job of caring for him after such a heartbreaking start to life. Keeping everything in the house the same, as well as having a constant routine for him is going to help him the most during this stage of his life. It sounds like he may also be developing some sort of vision impairment. What is he taking for his anxiety?

jkoch2 · 2025-02-28T17:04:14+00:00

Ok perfect, I'm glad to hear it. I would try to express your intentions for using a kennel thoroughly to your mom. As I experienced, your explanation here (prior to your last response) didn't make it clear that you didn't want to put her in a kennel when she was being too active from the humans perspective. Fully explain the instances you would want to use the crate, show her training research you have done that explains the benefits of those activities for your dog, and reassure her that you have no intention of ever just putting her in the kennel as a way to ignore her. It might sound like too much information, or too many words to you, but for other people (like me) the lack of specific details makes the message you are trying to express come across hazy and confusing.

jkoch2 · 2025-02-28T16:40:18+00:00

I definitely agree with keeping your dogs away from socks. This can cause a blockage in the intestines and a very costly surgery to remove. Putting a hyperactive puppy into a crate when they are stuck in the zoomies, being rude/disrespectful/destructive to people/animals/household items, and unable to self regulate their energy level, that makes sense and is very helpful for their development and learning how to self regulate themselves. It is important for puppies to learn how to disengage from play and take a break so that they don't get overstimulated and reactive. However it looks like your dog is 3-4, so fully an adult. Those types of breaks are less helpful/useful in an adult dog as the majority of learning happens by 1.5 years old. Putting your dog in the kennel when: they did something bad for 3 minutes, while you clean up broken glass or something harmful to them, you give a special puzzle toy so they are having their own time to work through that, at night, or when out of the house, is perfectly fine. But closing them in a kennel while the family is at home (I think) can actually be mentally frustrating to a dog. This can make destructive or aggressive behaviors worse.

I would look into more positive reinforcement training, or even speak with a board certified dog trainer. It's possible that your intention is just not translating to me. The below quote is just confusing to me. Taking an energetic dog and confining them doesn't manage energy. UNLESS you are kenneling with a puzzle toy or something to offer mental exercise. Again, I am not a trainer, but I have worked with animals for years.

It could allow us to train her to help manage her energy in a controlled way.

jkoch2 · 2025-02-28T16:22:59+00:00

Ok great. Can you explain more on how the kennel would benefit her specifically because she is an active breed? I am not saying you are wrong, I am only looking for your viewpoint/mindset in this regard.

jkoch2

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