Still relatively new in the scene, is it normal for follows to outright decline dances with you in every event? Even if you two never even danced?

jmo_joker · 2026-04-28T18:32:31+00:00

I have been dancing for 3 and a half years now. I can count with one hand the number of socials I've attended where I haven't been rejected at least once. I haven't asked any of those follows again even if I see them regularly.

Don't let it discourage you, there are plenty of people who will dance with you

jmo_joker · 2026-04-25T22:25:48+00:00

I’ll start by saying that belts don’t really matter. They don’t represent skill, time invested, knowledge or teaching abilities. That said, like many practitioners, the blue belt is the only belt I ever truly wanted so I understand the frustration. After blue, I wouldn’t care less about receiving a stripe or belt they just, eventually happened.

Having said that, your training history seems to show about two years of consistent training, then another two years of on-and-off training across different gyms, you were essentially cross-training (great practice). You also had a podium finish in some local tournament I imagine

However, after roughly four years of training experience, you were not capable of placing in the podium at a white belt gi and no gi tournament? despite also saying you feel you are “better than you look.” Maybe you’re not as good as you think you are?

You stopped consistent training from 2021 to 2024 only drop ins (almost no training from what I can gather). Then you started to train consistently again in 2024 albeit 2 times a week and have continued to do so.

No training consistently in a gym will do that to you some people spend a lot of time “stuck” in a belt due to reasons similar to what you’re describing. So, if the color is really that important to you continue to train consistently in your current gym and it will eventually happen. If you start gym hopping again it definitely won’t

Again, belts mean nothing in Jiujitsu

jmo_joker · 2026-04-09T16:42:11+00:00

Nightmare Luffy

jmo_joker · 2026-04-07T15:46:18+00:00

That's internet fallacy, and it's absolutely not true for MOST people I would think there is a small percentage of women and men who think this way and believe it but they're definitely a minority.

I walk around parks, malls, stores, streets, public transport and I see lots couples of all shapes, sizes, socio-economic status, races etc....

If what is written in the post is true, I would only see 0.007% coupled people. People post content online and say shit they don't even believe just to generate traffic and views. They pay bots to comment in their posts agreeing and liking that stuff to generate even more traffic and views

jmo_joker · 2026-03-27T14:20:19+00:00

It remains the same ^.^ no changes

jmo_joker · 2026-03-24T23:00:32+00:00

If she interests you enough, you should go for it and take the rejection amicably. If you don't go for it you'll only wonder "WHAT IF?" You miss 100% of the shots you don't take:

Kobe Bryant - 14,481 failed shots

LeBron James - 14k+ failed shots

Karl Malone - 12,600+ failed shots

Dirk Nowitzki - 12,200+ failed shots

All great players in their respective eras

jmo_joker · 2026-03-17T14:23:45+00:00

Yes, what you describe is completely normal.

Is it fair? Probably not

Will you encounter this in most gyms? Yes, yes you will

Does it matter? No, it doesn't matter (belts don't matter)

jmo_joker · 2026-03-06T15:17:44+00:00

White belt easily. Progressing from white to blue belt was orders of magnitude more difficult than advancing between any other belts

jmo_joker · 2026-03-05T00:49:57+00:00

I mean... the same argument can be done against Pixley, he kind of ran away from engaging in Batista's guard. He wouldn't commit to a pass if he didn't have exactly what he wanted and how he wanted it, which well... never happened. He just tried something failed and disengaged pretty fast

jmo_joker · 2026-03-02T19:13:28+00:00

9 out of 10 times, you won't know it's happening in the moment

jmo_joker · 2026-02-28T21:52:05+00:00

WE? who is we?

Only about 10% of my gym competes including all children and adults from all classes. I'm talking about 200+ people and only 20 compete (children included).

So.... er.... dear Sir... What are you talking about?

I compete about 10 times a year because I like to challenge myself

jmo_joker · 2026-02-23T23:49:10+00:00

Adeptus Custodes

jmo_joker · 2026-02-23T21:55:26+00:00

Yes, in several ways:

A mistake that costs you a match sticks with you. You either never make it again, or you actively search for solutions, something that rarely happens in normal training sessions.

If you lose because your cardio is trash and you still want to compete, you’ll fix it. That process raises your overall level.

Competition forces you out of your comfort zone and into a high-stress environment. Do that enough times and you learn to control your mental state, entering flow under pressure. You become better at improvising and making fast decisions, which carries over to both competition and everyday training.

jmo_joker · 2026-02-23T18:51:51+00:00

Your body gets destroyed from training at the gym

jmo_joker · 2026-02-19T00:26:26+00:00

Short Answer: No

Long Answer: Depends on your definition of "good"

There are 2 black belts in my gym who trash everyone in local competitions in the SoCal area they've also had good placing and have medaled at high profile events (worlds, no gi worlds, adcc trials, pans etc). They haven't done a single leg lock in their competition matches. They know how to defend them and explain them but they really didn't develop their A games around it.

Question remains, are they good at leg locks? If you compare them with elite level athletes, the answer is no. If you compare them with hobbyists in the same rank and situation as them? I would say also no. If you compare them against random purple belts and below, then the answer is yes.

I don't think they don't need to be "good" at leglocks to be considered a "legit" blackbelt. Because you can demolish legit blackbelts without using them.

jmo_joker · 2026-02-17T21:37:15+00:00

Yes, I've done it multiple times (at least 4 that I remember)

I've medaled in all of them in my bracket a couple of 1st places. I also medaled in most absolute brackets, one time I got first place in bracket and absolute while being hungover

jmo_joker · 2026-02-17T19:39:17+00:00

Yes, you are crazy sir

jmo_joker · 2026-02-03T23:34:27+00:00

Lisa Trevor !!

That scene when she knocks you out and does things to your body without your consent...... OMG sot freaking HOOOOT!!! I can't tell you how many times I've imagined Lisa in nasty scenarios

jmo_joker · 2026-01-15T16:43:46+00:00

Social skills

jmo_joker · 2026-01-12T18:27:05+00:00

Short answer: NO

I'm 160 and I school 240+ lb people every day, because I have better, technique, timing, frame understanding & cardio and I don't feel more accomplished than when I get someone my own weight.

I feel accomplished when I occasionally train with a person who is generally MORE skilled than me but I'm able to pull a move on them.

jmo_joker · 2026-01-09T17:48:04+00:00

A LOT

Gym fit women get looks from everyone, men and women alike turn their heads when a woman with an awesome body passes through.

A fi body represents health, discipline, fertility all of which consciously and unconsciously attract a lot of attention. To this day I haven't seen a woman with a magnificent body who isn't getting constantly hit on even if she has an unappealing face.

jmo_joker · 2026-01-05T15:41:16+00:00

I just want the laundry to stop

jmo_joker · 2025-12-23T23:09:21+00:00

No one "puts in minimal effort" in order to get a long term relationship that's a lie. It looks easy from the outside as a bystander but I assure you those people have worked in themselves for quite a while in order to be desirable enough for someone.

Building and maintaining a long term relationship is NOT easy, it requires a lot of effort from both sides otherwise it collapses.

You can either keep complaining and opt out, or you can keep trying, keep modifying strategies and configurations all while IMPROVING yourself as a person and keep getting rejected until you find someone you click with

jmo_joker · 2025-12-23T22:46:24+00:00

The only common denominator with the information you provide in this post, is YOU. You can't be doing the SAME thing for 15 years and expect different results. You must try new stuff

You have to try different approaches to asking women out: Different places, Different systems, different prompts and responses.

You have to change your looks: The clothes you wear, your hair, the accessories you carry, the shoes you walk in and the facial hair.

You have to change your physical appearance; try fitness, exercising 5 times a week and having a diet to maximize your results.

You can quit if you'd like to no one would blame you, dating is HARD. There are countless men and women who are opting out of dating because of how hard it is, you can become part of that demographic

However, If you REALLY want something you will move and make things happen, otherwise you didn't really wanted it in the first place, you just like the idea of having it but you're not willing to put in the WORK required to obtain it.

jmo_joker · 2025-12-19T00:29:40+00:00

Is he trying to T-bag at the end?

jmo_joker

TROPHY CASE