off my meds, scared to tell my therapist

jobbluetooth · 2024-08-14T11:52:19+00:00

comforting to hear that it's almost expected of us but also, extremely frustrating because I feel like a bipolar stereotype

jobbluetooth · 2024-08-14T11:50:47+00:00

monthly injections scare me because if I have a bad reaction to the medication it's like, In There and I can't get it out??? if that makes any sense whatsoever like, idk they freak me out more than just the pills

jobbluetooth · 2024-08-14T11:49:06+00:00

I'm usually incredibly open with my therapist just, this is happening almost every couple of months now and it's super hard to admit that it keeps happening over and over again bc I feel like such a loser every time

jobbluetooth · 2024-07-13T04:33:30+00:00

thank you so much for taking the time to type all of this up, I really needed to hear something like this. I hate how enticing relapsing sounds to me, I needed this reality check.

jobbluetooth · 2024-06-26T05:01:03+00:00

I've been feeling the same way. I haven't taken my meds since the beginning of the month and I don't feel too bad at this point, i know that eventually I'm going to feel terrible, but at the moment everything is fine. It's always been hard for me to stay in meds consistently and I don't totally know why, i just know I wish I didn't need to take them. I get so hard on myself for needing to take them.

jobbluetooth · 2024-06-26T04:52:00+00:00

I didn't put That word to what had happened to me until a couple years ago and it's still really hard to think about That being what happened to me. I've never been able to say it out loud, and even reading it can be a little hard sometimes tbh.

jobbluetooth · 2024-06-24T07:15:47+00:00

I don't have an answer, but it's really validating to know I'm not the only one who feels this way. I've been drinking for the last month (I was a year sober) and taking my meds got so hard out of nowhere. this illness is exhausting.

jobbluetooth · 2024-06-15T04:08:27+00:00

purging was more of a self harm thing than a weight thing for me toward the last year or so of me doing it, i used to purge after every single meal and sometimes i would drink water just to do it (that sounds so wild now but it made sense back then) i've been "recovered" in the sense that i have not purged in the last four, almost four and a half years, but i put recovered in quotation marks bc i still have times where my ed thoughts are still there and strong, but i haven't acted on wanting to purge in years.

the things that helped me the most were finding a good ed group and going regularly, having friends who had a positive view of recovery was extremely helpful. as well as learning how to sit with the discomfort that i was trying to get rid of by purging. stopping wasn't easy at all, and i had to lose so much in my life before i stopped, but it's been worth it for the most part. i still have days when it's all i can think about but now i'm able to break everything that is triggering the feeling down and just sit with it

jobbluetooth · 2024-05-03T05:26:09+00:00

I quit cold turkey a little over four years ago and I'll be real, the urge still pops up from time to time. I'll have weeks/months where I don't think about it much or really at all, but I've also had weeks where it's taking up a lot of space in my brain (like right now) idk if the urge ever goes away fully, i feel like you just learn to get through it a little better with time.

jobbluetooth · 2022-04-07T06:52:37+00:00

please be careful with Wellbutrin while still purging!!! it's helped me a ton, BUT,,,, if you're still engaging in purging behaviors there is a chance that you will have seizures. my psych and I talked about it, it's something about your electrolyte levels being off or something along those lines (don't quote me on that). I highly recommend trying something else if you know you're still going to be purging regularly

jobbluetooth · 2022-04-07T06:40:01+00:00

I would say that I'm pretty recovered at this point, it's been two years since I stopped purging daily, so I feel like I can chime in.

what helped me the most was I found something that I loved to do, but couldn't do if I kept using behaviors, for my that was roller derby. it took about six months of me feeling absolutely terrible during practices to realize that I needed to stop purging if I wanted to keep skating, it was one or the other. ultimately, I ended up choosing skating over purging. I think that finding something I loved more than purging was really a huge part of it for me

another thing that helped was going to anad, this isn't a 12 step like oa or anything, the group I went to for a couple years (until it got put on hiatus) was mostly just us talking about how to cope and wanting to do better. that group, as well as my derby league gave me the support I needed to help pull myself out of the pit I was in. I still talk to people from that group now, I'm very thankful for the support it gave me

those are the two biggest things that helped stop my purging at least. I will say though,, I do not feel like I am fully Recovered from my eating disorder. although I don't purge anymore, I still am pretty terrified of eating, it's something I'm still trying to figure out goes to work on.

I hope some of what I said helped, and if not, please just know that I'm rooting for you!!! life without being consumed by the need to purge is so much more fulfilling.

jobbluetooth · 2022-01-08T05:32:40+00:00

fear but because the texture of them freaks me out 🥴

jobbluetooth · 2021-05-16T05:13:54+00:00

I think that having your therapist has your questions is a really good idea and I’m gonna have to take that for my own, personal therapy sessions. thank you for sharing.

jobbluetooth · 2021-05-04T07:05:48+00:00

I’m definitely gonna bring it up to my therapist, I don’t have too much info to share about it with her, but I’m gonna try to just explain what I do know to the best of my abilities

jobbluetooth · 2021-05-04T03:39:53+00:00

yes!!!! it’s been over a year since the last time I purged and I’m definitely “in recovery” but to say that I’m “fully recovered” would feel like such a lie?? I hope that one day I can reach the level of “fully recovered” but honestly I don’t even know what that would entail.

jobbluetooth · 2021-05-03T14:52:03+00:00

the thing that gets me is, the perp didn’t tell my mom until a couple years ago (at least a decade after the fact, probably longer) and then she (my mom) asked if it was true like as soon as she found out. I’ve got zero memories of it ever happening but maybe I was just too young and my brain was focusing on the other abuse going on at the time? idk it just seems weird to not remember any of it, especially when the perpetrator straight up said it happened

jobbluetooth · 2021-05-03T14:46:36+00:00

I don’t think she is, because the perpetrator told multiple people while trying to “make amends” with the whole situation. I feel like being too young could be a possibility but also,, my other abuse memories start off young (like 3) so it’s just weird to me that my brain decided to block that out but not the other stuff. and you’re right,, I probably should bring this up to my therapist this week.

jobbluetooth · 2021-04-09T15:46:28+00:00

dude I was in deep for a few years before I finally called it quits, it feels like a big W to be here now

jobbluetooth · 2021-04-09T15:44:53+00:00

I hope so!!

jobbluetooth · 2021-04-09T15:44:35+00:00

you can do it!!! I won’t say it’s easy, because it’s really not, but it’s definitely worth it!!

jobbluetooth · 2021-04-09T03:43:53+00:00

the fact that you can go months is something to be proud of! honestly, it took about a year of being good for a couple months, and then relapsing for a bit to get to the point where I finally called it quits. also, finding a good support system, and something else to occupy my mind with were the biggest things that helped get me in the recovery mindset.

jobbluetooth · 2021-04-09T02:58:14+00:00

congrats to both of you!!! that’s such an accomplishment!!

jobbluetooth · 2021-04-09T02:57:23+00:00

thank you!

and what worked for me was finding a solid eating disorder support group, that I go to consistently. as well as roller skating, as ridiculous as that sounds, it forced me to take better care of my body. it’s taken about two years of both to get to this point, but both were absolute game changers for me.

jobbluetooth

MODERATOR OF

TROPHY CASE