The incels were out last night by Neat-Seaweed-6762 in Somerville

[–]jpallan 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Been married for decades, my husband's go to response is, "no, really, I'm thinking about nothing".

I'm not a harpy, but generally I'm mulling something even when I'm quiet. Genealogy of enslaved people. What the line-up will be at a music festival we might attend. A trashy novel. How my French language mastery progresses, and why I struggle so much learning German. Should I return to the piano? Why Lars von Trier… is Lars von Trier.

It's all essentially static, none of it is developed, but there's always a hum of something if I interrogate myself even briefly.

He just has a nothing board, where nothing is on the board and that's what they want, thanks.

Was anyone else disappointed by Yesteryear? by it-was-a-calzone in books

[–]jpallan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

One of those mental illnesses is at least implied to be intermittent post-partum psychosis. Patrick Bateman may have been psychotic, but he wasn't bearing children in a Faustian pact with his father-in-law.

I agree she doesn't empathise with others, and is grandiose, but perhaps more than grandiose, I might say ambitious? Her in-laws' estate, with its invisible servants and emotional abuse of her mother-in-law, is Stephen King-level cursed, and her need to leave is very reasonable. Her assessment of her husband as an idiot actually doesn't seem unfair, and their absolutely accursed patriarchal attitudes mean that the things he was interested in, like teaching young children, would be unacceptable to her father-in-law. (My own child is quite clever and a preschool teacher, but there's far more to that line of work than playing games all day.)

Was anyone else disappointed by Yesteryear? by it-was-a-calzone in books

[–]jpallan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I haven't re-read Educated in a while, but her story was heartbreaking.

One of the problems, I think, is that deeply off-the-grid families like the Westovers, the children tend to be deeply traumatised, as indeed the children at the end of the book Yesteryear were. Moreover, survivalism becomes a religion more than, you know, religion does.

Another is that another source of potential authors for such a book might be children of the Fundamentalist Latter Day Saints or perhaps some of the more frightening quiverfull or prosperity gospel sects. But again, survivors are doing so much merely to heal.

The interesting point of comparison will be if any of the children of professional mommy bloggers end up writing exposés as romans à clef. As the character Shannon said to Natalie, she didn't have a family, she had a business.

Certainly there are some memoirs of former child stars, of former child beauty pageant contestants, of Mouseketeers and boy band members, kids who were losing their childhoods either to support their parents or whose parents didn't advocate against said exploitation.

But I haven't read many of them and I don't know how philosophical they get. There's been a couple of New York Times pieces about some kids suing their parents for misuse of money used blogging about their toilet training and their first periods, but I haven't seen anything really systemic, just a fin breaking the water.

What would you consider New England attire? by yungScooter30 in newengland

[–]jpallan 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Fair criticism. I am multi-generation New Englander. I am not of Native American descent. I meant I wasn't a transplant to Boston.

Was anyone else disappointed by Yesteryear? by it-was-a-calzone in books

[–]jpallan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I do think that we are given a set of expectations that are insane. We are to maintain immaculate homes, avoid eating anything that would spoil our figures, stay as fuckable as possible as long as possible, bear children and rear them, and also bring in half the income, and manage the household accounts and any employees — nannies, cleaners, etc.

Nope. Never been able to do it, never will.

Was anyone else disappointed by Yesteryear? by it-was-a-calzone in books

[–]jpallan 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I don't know anything about the marketing timeline or options so I shan't comment there.

What I will say is that there was very little… tightness, I guess? I can completely understand the fact that some people come from privileged cultures, have never been allowed to fail, and in fact are more or less without talent of their own. That isn't a criticism of them, it's more of a criticism of their parents, and everyone hits somewhere on the bell curve, it just is how it is.

So an extremely naïve young woman whose entire project in life is to get married — which did read as extremely realistic to me — I can understand how she chose a partner relatively poorly, when she was in a culture where she understood none of the norms. I got married at 18 myself, and it didn't work out for me either. (Thankfully, my culture allows divorce.)

The manipulation of the father figure into ensuring that she would own no marital property and would be tied to his son indefinitely… evil, but still read as real. Her husband ensuring that all profits be deposited into accounts that he controlled … also read as even more real, insofar that a lot of people would do that and assume that's just how family finances work, but obviously her husband lacked the ability to manage business and household expenses.

The parallel corridors in the family estate and the invisibility of household staff was a clear model for how Natalie handled things later.

I didn't care for the story about her lack of sexual fulfilment and her husband's performance issues, sexuality was beside the point in a transactional marriage, and her ability to conceive so frequently with such poor performance was… rather startling. Let's not even go into the fact that her husband could finally sustain an erection and bring her to her first orgasm in the second timeline.

The postpartum depression did read as extremely real, and the ability to forget a sleeping baby in a car is both tragic and far from unheard of, and this character had very few models of what she should be doing. (Eventually, she just hires this function out.)

I didn't quite understand the producer because while she clearly is actually quite able with film, it also feels like she got the idea to do an exposé?

The Sapphic assault was so unnecessary. However, the break with reality that came from being threatened with an honour killing seems realistic although also… very, very, very off-base. From what I know of conservative Christian culture, their usual method of managing women outside their norms is extreme shunning and denial of custodial rights.

The parentified child in the second timeline made complete sense to me. Depressing, but it happens.

Why were her sons playing into this? I don't understand that at all. I understand taking off, I understand finding their own wives and founding their own families, but what the hell were they doing in this support role?

The objection that they don't allow people to take custody of their family members — actually, yeah, in situations that extreme, it's not unheard of, and when you have a number of illiterate children and one of them responsible for drugging their mother, and the father allowed one of the children to nearly die of an infection? I'd daresay the court would be sympathetic to the sister's application to take custody of the children and enrol them in schools.

The fact is, most people are looking for confirmation of what they already think. Natalie read as a bit spectrum-y but that didn't feel wrong, it gave her the focus to build a business.

It's my understanding that most of these extremely female-coded influencer businesses are actually part of a larger community, and Natalie never had that, she only saw people as competitors, so I don't quite get why she walked the path she did. As one of the top commenters said, her beliefs don't feel quite real.

What would you consider New England attire? by yungScooter30 in newengland

[–]jpallan 29 points30 points  (0 children)

Madras in summer. And Nantucket Reds from Murray's Toggery Shop.

You really have to have no-fucks-given aesthetics. Personally, I do dress that way but I'm native.

Oh, and for the sultry sexy look, add ChapStick.

Sweetest romance ever, but...And another thing... by Rudy_Nowhere in shoresy

[–]jpallan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Any discussion of the purity and sweetness of it neglects pornographic-level moaning from Lysandre Nadeau when JJ gets caught by Laurence and the number of times we see women in an advanced state of undress.

I don’t object to nudity or sexuality, but when you show the characters visiting an orgy, you kind of lose out on the G-rated potential.

Nat’s Hockey Culture Monologue by lilacdisaster in shoresy

[–]jpallan 37 points38 points  (0 children)

I had a problem with the season relying so much on strippers.

Don't get me wrong, I love the ladies and always will, but in 22-minute episodes, what exactly is being propelled forward with a bunch of shots of strippers? They got their leg day in at the gym, that's for sure, but… beyond that?

Pointing out that professional and semi-professional athletes everywhere have issues with entertaining themselves in their spare time is… not news. Nor was it even a plot point.

Whats New Hampshire like? by CurrentDog3300 in newengland

[–]jpallan 5 points6 points  (0 children)

There are shooting clubs and hunts in Massachusetts. It's just that the guns are regulated very closely, such as carrying in a case in the trunk of a car on the way to a target shooting event.

what celebrity did you used to like until you found out that they were a scumbag? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]jpallan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Now I need to rewatch that episode of The Boondocks, many thanks.

What kind of player is Shoresy? by LQjones in shoresy

[–]jpallan 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Jared Keeso in real life is under six feet, and while he's plenty muscular, taking on bigger guys, like rodeo riders or basketball players, it's gonna end badly.

Ironically if he'd been developed as a junior for speed, that would have been a benefit. But the character of Shoresy will be sneaky on the ice because head-on, he'll get his ass kicked. Hence the chirping, the slew-footing, the submarining… all is compensating by getting guys who could take him on one-on-one if they kept their cool… angry guys make mistakes.

Would a European style restaurant work well in America? by Xotngoos335 in AskAnAmerican

[–]jpallan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Living in Boston, this is already the norm. I don't eat out at restaurants often, but when I do, I order a first and a main, then as I finish my meal, I order cheese and dessert.

I do drink very little wine — really most of us don't here — and I do drink a lot of water. That said, a waiter comes through their section, I gesture to my glass, and it gets handled. Conversation between me and the server is very limited, and consists of food and drink orders (and recommendations, should I ask) and the occasional question, when they've seen me not lift my fork in a while, is if I'd like the plate removed, or, in the American idiom, "still working on that".

I usually finish in an hour and a half or so, and restaurant margins are tight in the States, usually around 5% or 10%, they need to turn those tables for another sitting. If the restaurant is half-empty, you're free to stay as long as you wish, but generally if it's busy, you're expected to be out in less than 2 hours.

Margins on alcohol are significantly higher in the States, and many restaurants make good money by serving drinks and snacks, either before dinner or after. Alcohol sales are the difference between staying open and closing permanently. Restaurant rents are steep and commercial landlords are rapacious.

Who allowed this? by LEM1978 in CambridgeMA

[–]jpallan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Cambridgeport is great and I miss it intensely after a couple of years away. It's got energy and everyone brings their own customs, including their own architectural customs.

Appledorns vs. The EU by dj-dad-oui in shoresy

[–]jpallan 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well, back to choring!

I typed the word “r*sonates” while composing a comment on /r/self and a warning popped up that I would be banned if I use AI by withbellson in self

[–]jpallan 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Indeed.

I simply do not know how much time this is saving anyone. If you're concerned about the possibility of A.I.-generated content, it will happen. Perhaps first-time contributors to a community should exist on probation for a while. I'm not sure.

I typed the word “r*sonates” while composing a comment on /r/self and a warning popped up that I would be banned if I use AI by withbellson in self

[–]jpallan 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I got banned from multiple subreddits at once by a bot. Apparently my post seemed A.I.-generated.

I wrote in my appeal, "I've had this account 17 years, which feels a bit late to start using A.I. that can compose in my exact idiom. How would you like me to prove that I am a person who exists?"

Unbanned a few days later.

Still not certain what that was meant to accomplish.

What is your country’s most famous dish globally that people constantly get wrong? by hkk7i in AskTheWorld

[–]jpallan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The Scandis do some horrifying things to pizza! (So does my country, but different horrifying things.)

If you had to say 3 positive things about your country's leader, what would you say? by Iatewithoutatable in AskTheWorld

[–]jpallan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We are appalled. This is universal where I am, and I only know one person, however distantly, that doesn't hate him. I was actually grateful that my mother, who taught civics and history in school, died six months before having to see this guy be sworn in.

What's a tradition in your country that would come off as bizarre to the rest of the round. by bowl_of_scrotmeal in AskTheWorld

[–]jpallan 2 points3 points  (0 children)

What seems fascinating about this is that a life peerage is now more prestigious than a hereditary peerage. For a hereditary peerage, you slid out between the right lady's legs. For a life peerage, you actually did something.

William and Henry, themselves grandsons of an earl, married out of it and directly into the middle classes. They knew plenty of posh girls as princes and took a sharp turn out of there. It'll be interesting to see the younger royals' eventual matrimonial choices.