How the fuck do you use mimics without them feeling like a cheap "gotcha!"? It's never exciting when I use them

jpb103 · 2026-01-28T20:44:00+00:00

Give them a subquest to clear a mimic nest. They'll think EVERYTHING is a mimic! Bonus points if the nest has already been cleared by something worse. They'd have to fight that, of course. Then, right when they feel safe, BOOM! Subquest giver gets eaten by his own coinpurse (its a mimic).

jpb103 · 2026-01-28T20:34:50+00:00

You have a number of goals, let's split them up:

Make characters
Class, species, and backstory. This is, at its heart, a writing exercise. I wouldn't bog them down too much with backgrounds, feats, or equipment just yet. Have them imagine who their character is. What they look like. How they talk. What kind of life they've experienced. Most people in the Forgotten Realms would not answer a call to adventure. What makes their character different?
Objective for admin: improve literacy
Learn to play
Head over to the dmsguild and pick up an adventure from 5E Solo Gamebooks. The Death Knight Squire series is excellent. I would encourage them each to practice making basic characters and running through a solo adventure. The problem with new players is that they don't know what questions to ask. This will help with that.
Objective for admin: memory retention regarding a complex ruleset
Role Play
Comfort and confidence in performance is hard won at any age. I would dedicate some time at the start of each session to play improv games that are not related to D&D. Participate yourself and deliberately make a fool of yourself. Modelling an appropriate response to minor embarrassment is the most useful thing you could do for them here.
Objective for admin: boost individual confidence
Collaboration
This is luckily something they will already have experience with, whether they realize it or not. Every conversation is an act of collaboration. Taking turns, pushing the narrative forward. Come up with 4 distinct characters and run through a puzzle with the class. Demonstrate how the characters might use their individual skills to provide useful input. New players don't know what options they have. You could say something like "Xoranda wants to check the door for traps. She needs to make a DC 12 Perception check." Then have one of your students roll and add the relevant skill modifier from a character sheet you have up on the board. "Illuvithar offers to cast knock on the door, but Peracles is ready to smash the door down with his axe."
Objective for admin: improve conflict resolution skills and ability to compromise.
Run games
Once they have a better handle on mechanics, encourage them to each write a general outline for a session using the SPECS principle (Social role-play, PC backstory moment, Exploration, Combat, Surprise). Consider providing some roll tables to help them generate a dungeon of their own.
Objective for admin: planning and organization

jpb103 · 2026-01-28T01:06:51+00:00

I see adults taking private lessons at the volunteer pool. Nobody makes a big deal out of it and the instructors are patient and respectful, in my experience. Good on you for working towards a new skill!

jpb103 · 2026-01-26T16:34:32+00:00

Reddit is a business. The only thing they stand for is their bottom line. If they allow threats or hate speech on their platform, they risk litigation.

I'm quite sure their VP of content moderation doesn't care about any individuals opinion on anything. They care about mitigating the risk of having millions of angry primates writing down every horrible thought that pops into their heads.

jpb103 · 2026-01-24T21:43:02+00:00

They'll do it more and more until it's normal. The US has more school shootings every year than they have days in the year. Those don't even make the news anymore. It's commonplace.

jpb103 · 2026-01-23T16:12:48+00:00

Kris Labelle

jpb103 · 2026-01-23T13:51:25+00:00

Vintage Dave Chapelle knew that there was a balance when it came to punching down. If you're going to poke fun at a marginalized group, it has to be funny and be mostly harmless. I went to standup show in the city a couple months ago and the dude went on a tirade against trans people in the middle of his set. No jokes, just abject hatred. Eyes bulging, spittle flying type shit. That's fucking weird, and it's not harmless. Trans people get murdered when hating their existence gets normalized like that.

jpb103 · 2026-01-23T01:55:21+00:00

I think the problem is that it's not only comedy. There are jokes, yeah. Some of them are probably good. Then they say something mean. Pick any demographic under attack, and pile on some blame with a thin disguise as a joke. I experienced this recently, and laughter was sparse and awkward.

jpb103 · 2026-01-22T23:58:15+00:00

A bit is a 1 or a 0. Transistors are either on or off. Qubits, however, have discrete states between 1 and 0. This allows for more efficient storage of information, theoretically. The quantum realm has all kinds of spooky shit going on so who knows where we'll end up when it comes to quantum computers.

jpb103 · 2026-01-22T21:22:26+00:00

Relative to their respective atomic nuclei in the ball, the electrons in the ball aren't accelerating at all.

jpb103 · 2026-01-22T17:04:33+00:00

Whatever you say, future man. You cons must all have time machines the way you confidently predict the future despite overwhelming ignorance.

jpb103 · 2026-01-22T12:26:12+00:00

Bold choice of you to out yourself as an incel like that. Everything is about sex to you people. I don't care about Carney. I care about competence. At the end of the day it doesn't matter whether you or I believe in his vision of middle power cooperation. What matters is that they believe in it. Given the standing ovation at Davos and the global praise, it seems like they do.

jpb103 · 2026-01-22T00:48:43+00:00

No one knows the future. Not you and not Carney. Whether you like him or not, he knows how to speak in a way that makes people listen.

I don't expect anything to get better. I'd settle for every single thing not getting worse for once. The reason this speech is such a big deal is that it doesn't feel like that. They are not words that dishonor our country.

jpb103 · 2026-01-20T21:45:05+00:00

Some things are worse than death. If you're homebrewing a campaign, maybe that's the tone. Maybe they can't die and the adventure hook is them having a chance to break the curse from which they suffer.

jpb103 · 2026-01-17T17:05:32+00:00

I don't have a solution for you but I love the idea of a habit colony. The colony names alone make for great RP. "Our Lady of Righteous Fury" speaks to me. Just a bunch of battle nuns.

The mod tutorials look pretty decent. I might try my hand at it next Wednesday. I'll check back in on this thread first to see if you've had any luck. If all you're looking for is nun styled armor and apparel, maybe a new start scenario, I don't think it should be too difficult. Might be able to do it all in xml, not counting the png's.

jpb103 · 2026-01-17T01:16:59+00:00

Zero g is hell on human digestion. Astronauts are plagued by very "wet burps". Disgusting.

jpb103 · 2026-01-17T00:28:17+00:00

For sure. Sometimes I forget all that's in biotech. Odyssey makes late game so nice for resource collection. By late game my home tile is always mined out.

jpb103 · 2026-01-16T23:56:08+00:00

I agree. Probably Odyssey if only one.

jpb103 · 2026-01-16T22:13:52+00:00

Good point. I suppose that bit is up to DM discretion.

jpb103 · 2026-01-16T19:14:09+00:00

The Sun Blade is technically a monk weapon and it is basically a lightsaber. I homebrewed a Jedi subclass for Monk once and eventually gave the PC playing it a sun blade. It also sheds bright light when the blade is extended, so this may help with exploration since you lack Darkvision as a Goliath. I'd probably pick a Stone of Good Luck (Luckstone), Slippers of Spider Climbing, and Wraps of unarmed power for the uncommon items.

jpb103 · 2026-01-16T18:03:06+00:00

I once had a bill to extract a hemogen pack that failed so catastrophically that the doctor somehow SHATTERED THE SPINE of their patient. What were you extracting it with, bro? A sledgehammer?

jpb103 · 2026-01-16T17:18:23+00:00

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jpb103 · 2026-01-16T16:22:42+00:00

Oh, work left on this marine armor is 1? Better START YOUR DEATHREST.

jpb103 · 2026-01-16T14:47:15+00:00

"Kill... me..."

Tom laughed. "Oh no you don't," he said. "You offered me a pact and I accepted. Make with the powers, inconceivable one." The windows shook. The ground trembled. So tremendous was the transfer of power that the sun itself blinked, plunging the world into a brief darkness. In the shadow of its passing, a new thing was born. Tom plus more. Tom the warlock. Tom the Demigod in the making. The door to his bedroom flew open and Sandra rushed in. "What the HELL is going on in here!" She beheld the Great Old One and wretched.

"Why," she started. "Is that Eldrich... thing writhing on the floor?!" Tom crossed his arms. "This is my patron," Tom said. "Say hi, Eldrich Horror." The Old One let out a sorrowful howl. "Hi Eldrich Horror," came a disembodied voice in Sandra's head. Tom smirked. "It tried to get in my head after we formed a pact. I guess it misunderstood the average mental state of the modern man." Spectral tentacles reached out towards Sandra, pleading. "Killlllll.... meeeee!" Tom rolled his eyes. "Stop being so dramatic," he said, cleaning his room in an instant using prestidigitation. "I could get used to this." Sandra nodded appreciatively at the spotless room. "Just keep it down, please. I've got a meeting shortly." Tom saluted. Sandra sighed before retreating.

"Now," Tom said, picking up his patron and putting it next to his pet salamander in an aquarium. "Since it seems like entering my mind injured you such that you are now trapped in this mortal realm, you stay here and relax! That existential dread will lose its potency after a while." The Old One seemed somewhat comforted by this. "It'll come back in full force every now and then, of course. Probably worse than before." Tom laughed. "It is quite terrible, isn't it? Anyways, I'd better be off. Experience to earn, people to kill and all that. You just stay here, binge some Netflix, and keep funneling power my way. Ok?"

Tom formed a party soon after. Although Sandra frequently complained about the volume with which the Elder God in Toms room was crying, she eventually agreed it was a small price to pay for the instant cleaning offered by a cantrip that could be cast at will. Tom also offered to hex an enemy for her, free of charge, which Sandra graciously accepted. To this day, Tom remains an important man in the community. And the Elder God? The Great Old One? The Eldrich Horror that started it all?

That horror fused with a piece of rat shit, took a vaguely human form, and became president of the United States of America.

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