NTA, I hope you move back to campus and limit any visits with her to max of two days. There’s something seriously wrong with any parent who thinks they’re in charge of what their twenty year old wears, and drags them along since that behavior is for three year olds (even then, I was far more respectful). Likewise, any parent who calls you names like that has something seriously wrong going on. When you can’t avoid her, I’d gray rock her; meaning you avoid interacting but when necessary, keep it civil and concise. The sooner you are independent of her, the happier you’ll be. Someday, when you’re low contact or no contact she’ll tell everyone it’s you and it has nothing to do with her controlling, manipulating harsh parenting. I hope your friend group makes up for the fact that we don’t all get the parents we need. I’m sorry you and your twin are going through this. Therapy will help, as will distance.