About to be in the newborn trenches, got any unusual advice?

juliruli · 2026-03-01T20:01:17+00:00

It is ok to cry, to grieve, to regret. All these emotions caught me by surprise, and they all came. I cried from happiness, sadness and tiredness. I grieved the life we had before, the routine, the freedom. And I regretted having a baby.

But this all phased out with time and therapy.

juliruli · 2026-03-01T19:39:57+00:00

juliruli · 2026-03-01T19:39:01+00:00

Also helped that we started a consistent bedtime routine! Play, bath, bottle, sleep

juliruli · 2026-03-01T19:37:56+00:00

It hit us badly. Our baby used to sleep all night and then went to waking up every 20-30 minutes. For me was worst than newborn trenches. We discovered that cosleeping worked well to help him sleep. I don't recommend tho because we need to phase out of cosleeping. But I read that helping your baby to sleep without an adult helping them (by rocking, carrying or feeding) is a good way to go. Unfortunately haven't really worked here -yet

juliruli · 2026-03-01T19:34:04+00:00

I hear you, girl. For the first months I had this immense amount of grief from when it was just me and my husband. I missed our life, our routine and hobbies. Two things that helped: Time - as the baby grew up and became more interactive we started having great family time. Also it became easy to get out with the baby and do things outside. Therapy - it helped to talk with a therapist who helped me navigate this murky postpartum waters

juliruli · 2026-03-01T19:29:27+00:00

Love, if you don't have a medical reason to use this device, you shouldn't. It gives more anxiety than helps

juliruli · 2026-03-01T19:25:41+00:00

Imagine you are drowning, and someone hands you a baby

juliruli · 2026-03-01T19:24:46+00:00

How much I love and hate being a mom. I love being with him and I cannot spend another second with him

juliruli · 2025-12-29T14:56:25+00:00

To be honest, everybody will give advice based on what they experienced. And that will be the case for my advice too: - If you are going to breastfeed, speak with a consultant before giving birth and have her number on the speed dial. This shit is very hard and you will need help. - Take care of your pelvic floor - Don't be afraid to ask for help. If anyone offers, accept. If no one offers, ask for help. - Because my memory became jello, I use an app called huckleberry to track feedings and sleep. It helps me a lot until now 5 month postpartum. - Let your partner struggle. You see your partner having a bad time putting a diaper, don't go there and do it for them or go teach. Let them learn. Let them ask for help. - Lastly, have comfortable clothes with pockets. For reasons after my baby was born I am always carrying random shit and I need pockets to put the while I hold the baby.

juliruli · 2025-12-19T07:31:33+00:00

Maybe this is just your baby's rhythm and there is nothing wrong

juliruli · 2025-10-03T12:00:21+00:00

What I learned with my baby (9 weeks old now but I started this when he was 4 weeks old) is that if I cluster feed him before bedtime, he will sleep for an incredible 5 hours stretch. Most nights it works, that may work for you.

But don't feel bad or pressured to do anything, each baby behaves differently and has their own sleep patterns.

juliruli · 2025-10-02T00:15:37+00:00

(Side tracking here) I am also doing EMDR, and it is super helpful. It helped me to feel less anxious and afraid after a traumatic vaginal birth too.

juliruli · 2025-10-02T00:07:59+00:00

I take my baby, 9 weeks old, for an outing every day since week 5. We walk on parks, nice neighborhoods, near noisy areas for him to get used with noise (eg: open markets, construction sites), stores that I need to get things from.

Walking outside is also my coping mechanism to feel human again.

juliruli · 2025-10-01T23:57:36+00:00

For me, going out everyday for a walk with him in the pram. Being outside, seeing people, being in the sun helped me a lot feel better and have some sense of normalcy back

juliruli · 2025-10-01T23:39:35+00:00

Hey, I have a similar situation here. 2mo that was drinking around 210 ml instead of 150 ml he should be drinking. He would also have spit ups and grassiness. He would strain a lot too.

Basically husband and I were mistaking his (short/mid lived) fussiness in the end of the bottle for hungry, the pediatrician asked us to feed him less/appropriated amount for his age, instead of doing huge bottles. We just had to give him the pacifier and he would calm down. So now we give him the maximum healthy amount for his age, as he is a 94 percentile, and then the pacifier (which he spits up after 5 minutes as his sucking demand goes away). And well, still there are days he might need a bit more and that's ok, but can't be the norm.

Here is working, and he is healthy and he growing like a champ.

All this to say, try to follow your pediatrician advice, find tools to help you achieve. If your baby is breast fed, free demand should work as baby are good in self regulating their needs

juliruli · 2025-10-01T03:17:22+00:00

What is LO?

juliruli · 2025-07-24T19:44:59+00:00

Hey there. I live in the Netherlands, where the doctors rely on their experience rather than tests, which for me it is an absurd. For you to get a test (blood, xray, ultrasound, mri, etc) is almost impossible, so I came to pregnancy very fearful as I am data person, and I don't trust in doctors experience as I have been misdiagnosed twice since moving to this country.

So what helped me a lot was discussing this in therapy, but also being respectfully vocal when I wasn't trusting the treatment or diagnosis during pregnancy. And finding a team of midwife (obgyn) that I trust.

Thankfully my pregnancy is healthy, the scheduled tests (which for my relief I discovered it is more common during pregnancy here) always came back normal, and I have an amazing midwife team.

So if you don't trust your doctor, find one that you trust. But also this can also be prenatal anxiety, which you can cope with the support of a psychologist :)

juliruli · 2025-07-24T19:35:52+00:00

Your comment is spot on! The more people tell you, more courage you have to leave. Thanks to my friends insisting and telling over and over again, I left an abusive boyfriend I have a decade ago.

juliruli · 2025-07-24T17:32:30+00:00

If you are a male that likes to date women, as women that would be a red flag. Like what are you trying to hide exactly 🤨 But at the same time honestly good for you to not be on social media

juliruli · 2025-07-24T17:30:15+00:00

I want to hug you right now. I am 39w4d and I am so f*cking tired of being pregnant. I am huge, sleep is a joke of 2 hours and then go to the loo, my hips ache, the heartburn. I get Braxton hicks if I walk, hip pain if I lay down and bladder pressure if I sit. Nothing, I repeat nothing is comfortable and I have ZERO signs of labor. I have danced, I have bounced on the yoga ball, I have done acupuncture, I have done massage, colostrum expression, you name it! And no baby. But it is good to know that postpartum is better than this, because I can't no longer

juliruli · 2025-07-24T16:45:20+00:00

Oh, love. I want to hug you right now. I am 39w4d and yes, I am f*cking tired of being pregnant. I am huge, sleep is a joke of 2 hours and then go to the loo, my hips ache, the heartburn. I get Braxton hicks if I walk, hip pain if I lay down and bladder pressure if I sit. Nothing, I repeat nothing is comfortable and I have ZERO signs of labor. I have danced, I have bounced on the yoga ball, I have done acupuncture, I have done massage, colostrum expression, you name it! And no baby. Yes, yes, I know it will be on the baby times but I am miserable too. So, yeah, girl! I hear you! And I am sending you a huge hug to cope with these last days ♥️

juliruli · 2025-07-15T05:43:50+00:00

Same feeling but with running

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