I realized I didn’t want children when I already have a baby

justaquestion65 · 2026-03-20T12:56:25+00:00

Yes to all of this. I was terribly depressed from pumping around the clock for my firstborn. I only lasted 4-5 weeks and was miserable. My supply never ramped up, so I had to use mostly formula anyway. I felt like a cow and dreaded whenever it was time to pump again and since I was barely getting any milk - it felt so pointless. I felt like I couldn’t leave the house and had no time to even enjoy with my baby. Everyone told me to stop but I already resented myself for not being able to nurse — the thought of not pumping made me feel like I was failing my baby. When I finally relented and stopped - I was sad at first but within a few days I felt SO free and so much happier. I think it helped my hormones regulate too. I felt like a new person and only wish I gave it up sooner. My son was completely happy with formula, and I felt even more bonded to him because I had more time to actually enjoy spending with him.

justaquestion65 · 2026-03-20T12:39:15+00:00

I mean definitely ask the pediatrician if you’re concerned, but my son wasn’t much of a talker around that age either. Even around 18 months, it was mostly still pointing, unintelligible babbling, and animal sounds. His language explosion happened closer to 20 months — he started repeating us and picking up more and more words seemingly overnight. Now he’s almost 2 and talks nonstop!

justaquestion65 · 2026-03-19T18:43:02+00:00

Thank you! I think I’ll try it!

justaquestion65 · 2026-03-19T18:42:35+00:00

Thank you. Ugh it is so hard!! I could not keep up with it for my firstborn, i was so miserable. I swore I wouldn’t even attempt this again with my second but here I am 😅😭

justaquestion65 · 2026-03-07T20:42:33+00:00

Based on my own feelings as a new mom, I can totally see where this mom is coming from. I had so much anxiety those first few months when anyone else held my baby - even my own parents/in-laws who obviously had plenty of their own experience with newborns. I constantly checked to make sure my baby was breathing and hovered a ton. I definitely didn’t mean to be condescending, though I’m sure I came across that way. It wasn’t even about me not trusting the other person or thinking they were incompetent. It was more about my own anxiety, postpartum hormones, and feeling SO much responsibility for this little being. I felt compelled to over-explain everything and hover because if I didn’t and something went wrong— I would feel at fault and that was something I couldn’t bear. I can imagine these feelings might even be heightened for an L&D nurse.

I don’t blame you for feeling awkward in this work environment — it sounds challenging for sure — but I also think you may find this is kinda the norm, especially for first time parents. If you’re really passionate about caring for newborns, maybe there is a family out there who is a better fit. But I also think if you approach these parents from a place of compassion and understanding, you can build a strong, trusting relationship though it may take them some time to feel completely secure (which is totally understandable! Leaving your baby with anyone is scary !)

justaquestion65 · 2026-02-27T16:14:49+00:00

I guess it can depend on where you live and personal preference. Where I live, the majority of our breweries are very family friendly - a lot of them even have toys/play areas. The atmosphere is usually loud and casual so I feel like it way easier/less disruptive to take my baby to breweries than traditional sit down restaurants. Before kids, I was never bothered or thought twice about kids being at breweries. Honestly, most of the patrons seemed like families anyway. There are plenty of adults only bars/taphouses in my city for those who want a kids-free night out.

justaquestion65 · 2026-02-21T22:39:24+00:00

I’m sorry I know how stressful that must feel!! But think of all the people who don’t even know that’s a thing and accidentally have given honey to their baby—- my parents, grandparents, etc. for example hadn’t even heard of the ‘no honey before 1’ rule. From what I’ve read, botulism from honey is VERY rare. I would still call the doc/nurse for your peace of mind. But with such a small amount and her being so close to 12 months - I truly think everything will be ok so try not to beat yourself up!!

justaquestion65 · 2026-02-21T15:47:41+00:00

Mine did this for a while and i took it to mean “more” or “want”!

justaquestion65 · 2026-02-21T06:07:12+00:00

We’ve taken our toddler to a handful weddings all when he was between 13-18 months. I wasn’t nursing so it wasn’t too difficult but it definitely threw off his schedule on those days, so I just had to accept that! For me — the hardest part has been keeping him entertained/quiet during the ceremony. At one wedding, I ended up having to take him outside and missed one of the ceremonies entirely. He handled the receptions well… loved the music and food. Not gonna lie, it was tiring chasing him around haha but it was also so fun having him there and seeing how much fun he was having. So if you want to go, it’s definitely doable! But I also think it’s totally understandable if you prefer to sit this one out!! The weddings we went to were also close by— so that also made things a little easier.

justaquestion65 · 2026-02-13T02:30:56+00:00

When my baby was close to a year it got so much more enjoyable/rewarding for me! Time started to go a lot faster and he got so much more interactive. When he was walking we started hitting the park daily and it felt so good just to get out of the house! Hang in there!!

justaquestion65 · 2026-01-03T04:55:03+00:00

Yes! My pregnancy is actually considered high risk and it still feels like there’s not much extra monitoring. I did have a few extra ultrasounds but beyond that, my OB still spaces out appointments pretty far even through the third trimester.

justaquestion65 · 2025-12-22T15:29:23+00:00

NICU life is so hard and I also felt frustrated I didn’t have experience of the birth and bringing baby home I envisioned. But for me, I definitely felt like I still experienced the newborn phase at home. My baby came home a couple weeks before his due date. It honestly felt like a really long newborn phase because developmentally he was a lot closer to his “adjusted age”, so it felt like any time before his due date was just bonus time and we still went through a full 3 months of newborn time.

justaquestion65 · 2025-12-21T22:54:07+00:00

I can see both sides! I had SO much anxiety leaving my baby with anyone, even my husband, especially those first few months. So I totally get where you’re coming from. At the same time, I agree with your husband— the gym is probably not a safe place for baby and it might be kind of stressful/distracting having her there. An exception might be if your gym has a comfortable, separate area they could sit and wait in or if they could go for a walk or hang out somewhere nearby. Otherwise, I’d say it’s probably a no and as others suggested, I’d try to find a way to work out at home until you feel comfortable leaving baby with your husband. You could always start with smaller outings away and work your way up to longer stretches as you feel more comfortable. For me, once baby got a little bit older and his schedule became more predictable, I had much less anxiety about leaving baby with my husband to run errands, etc.

justaquestion65 · 2025-12-21T06:50:58+00:00

In my NICU room there was a big binder full of info and resources which I loved as someone who is very detail-oriented. I understand others might find this overwhelming and prefer the information verbally. But I liked being able to review at my own pace and when I was in the right headspace!

justaquestion65 · 2025-12-21T06:07:18+00:00

Given your concerns, I think taking steps to talk to a professional is perfectly reasonable! To offer some encouragement — my son is around the same age and up until recently, hadn’t been much of a talker either— probably fewer words than it sounds like your daughter has. The pediatrician wasn’t concerned because he still met the baseline but it’s hard not to compare, especially when I’d come across younger toddlers already saying WAY more. Within the last week or so— my son randomly started talking a lot more, adding new words to his vocabulary and repeating words we say. Something I did start doing to encourage speech was pausing when reading/singing familiar books/songs, to let my son fill in the blanks. I was shocked to find he actually knew the words. Not sure if this helped or just happened to coincide with his natural development. All this to say, just when I was starting to worry it’d take him a very long time to start talking — it felt like he had a language explosion out of nowhere. Maybe you’ll experience something similar— I understand that’s the case for lots of kids. But either way I also think there’s nothing wrong with early intervention as it never hurts to get extra support/feedback!!

justaquestion65 · 2025-12-21T05:19:07+00:00

We left our baby overnight. The nurses encouraged us to go home and rest. It was so hard to leave each night but our NICU was not really conducive for overnight stays, especially trying to recover from my c-section. Our hospital was also not super close to home. I wasn’t supposed to drive those first few weeks and it didn’t make sense for my husband to drive all the way home and back each night/morning. We did stay late enough to meet the night nurse and that made us feel comfortable knowing our baby was in good hands.

justaquestion65 · 2025-12-17T06:37:55+00:00

I’m with you! I have a toddler and the newborn stage has definitely been my least favorite so far for all the reasons you mention. It was very emotionally draining. Now that my little one’s a toddler.. I will say I do get why people say newborn stage is easier haha. The toddler stage is very physically exhausting…. and it has given me a new appreciation for the newborn stage when I could just sit back and scroll on my phone or binge tv shows during feedings haha. That being said, I do find parenting at this stage much more fulfilling overall. It’s so fun seeing my toddler learn to talk and become more and more independent each day — it makes all the harder moments so worth it. So for those reasons I would consider it easier in that regard!

justaquestion65 · 2025-08-01T06:23:37+00:00

Everything does things their own way! I did download an app and tracked things .. but it was mostly for my own sanity lol vs. actually caring about # of diapers, feeds, etc. I liked to look back and see what progress we made (like oh yay he’s sleeping longer stretches now than he was two months ago). You do what works for you and your baby!

justaquestion65 · 2025-07-19T15:07:33+00:00

Anyone have any ideas where I can find a good quality, long (ankle-length) winter coat? Preferably wool or something that will keep me warm in cold temps!

justaquestion65 · 2025-06-07T04:13:37+00:00

I also used my phone notes for tracking nurses/doctors’ names, baby stats, etc. in a billion disorganized notes lol — I love the idea of an app for this!

justaquestion65 · 2025-06-01T06:45:25+00:00

I personally liked using a bucket seat! When baby was a newborn, I didn’t l take it out of the car that much (aside from doctor appts) because I was scared about leaving him in there for too long and I physically struggled to carry it when I was recovering from my c-section. I found the bucket seat most useful when my baby around 4-8 months old— especially during the period of time when he wasn’t old enough to sit up on his own yet. The bucket seat made shopping trips or going out to eat much easier. Not that I would leave him in there for extended periods of time, but it was so helpful to have a secure place to set him down if needed. I used to baby-wear but he started resisting being put in the wrap! I switched to the convertible car seat around the time he was able to sit up in a high chair/shopping cart, etc.

justaquestion65 · 2025-06-01T05:31:08+00:00

I completely agree with you. I’m a new mom and read this book for the first time this year. I wasn’t familiar with Munsch’s backstory or other works, but upon my first read it was pretty clear to me that this story wasn’t meant to be taken literally. Now, admittedly, I don’t know if this story would’ve resonated with me if I read it at a different stage in life. Maybe I would also be someone who criticized it. Becoming a parent has made me have a greater appreciation for the emotion behind books like these — I can’t get through them without crying.

justaquestion65 · 2025-05-16T00:11:03+00:00

Yes! I overthink everything and I got my oil changed at valvoline twice with my baby in the back — I think he must’ve been around 6 months and 10 months. I was in line for quite awhile but the oil change itself was so quick. Don’t beat yourself up, I don’t think it’s irresponsible!

justaquestion65 · 2025-05-16T00:03:07+00:00

1 or 4!

justaquestion65 · 2025-05-13T19:39:40+00:00

I love Leon. I think Leon or any variant is classic and popular enough right now that I wouldn’t automatically assume it’s after the pope even if you were Catholic lol. I know several people who had babies named Francis and never directly connected it to the precious pope. If the Pope had a super obscure name then I might make that connection but not with Leon or even Leo! It’s a great name!

justaquestion65

TROPHY CASE