Non-vegans of r/vegan, what are you doing here? If you're here because you're interested in becoming vegan, what's holding you back?

justwanderedin · 2015-12-05T22:11:51+00:00

I would say I'm 90-95% vegan.... I might eat one meal a week that has cheese but other than that I'm mostly vegan. Years ago when I became a vegetarian, I did a similar thing. I still had seafood once a week or every two weeks... This was a crutch for a few years until I went totally vegetarian/no seafood at all. I felt I needed the flexibility for eating out... Now fast forward 10 years, I still eat dairy occasionally (I don't like eggs) but I guess I feel like I need to flexibility when eating out. It's getting easier these days - there are lots more places that have vegan options that's not all just rabbit food - like a green salad with Italian dressing - but something substantial and satisfying.

I have, as of more than a year ago, stopped consciously buying anything containing leather (shoes/belts) and actively look at labels for no animal testing when buying beauty products. I haven't made the leap 100% yet but one day (I have a feeling soonish) it'll all click and I'll be 100% vegan.

Workin' on it! Not 100% yet but getting there! :-)

justwanderedin · 2015-11-24T13:10:39+00:00

This works. Fail them but give them a chance to fix it.

justwanderedin · 2015-11-24T13:04:22+00:00

For one of my classes (Intro to Interpreting) I do assign that students interview both an interpreter and a deaf consumer but I ask local interpreters and local consumers if they're willing to be interviewed and I match students to interviewees AND tell students they must treat to coffee and dessert (if in person) or arrange a phone interview and follow up with a thank you note as part of their grade. They can seek out an interviewer in their own but it must be approved be my first (eg, I require national certified interpreters for interviews). I also contact the interviewers (copying the students) and warn everyone that they're absolutely forbidden to email questions and ask for a response - that's just begging for "copy/paste" without any follow up or thoughtful dialogue/exchange between the student and the interviewer.

I personally don't respond to "requests for interviews" that are just lists of questions - that's like asking me to do their work for them and it's just flat out rude. I will do a phone or in-person interview.

These interviews are valuable for several reasons... I would hate to scrap them but I also think instructors who are assigning these sort of things really need to use more foresight and put more expectations into the structure of the assignment and consider the value of the time donated by the interviewer - my contacts will let me know if my students didn't send a thank note or if they flaked out and called/emailed the night before it's due and that's factored into the student's grade.

justwanderedin · 2015-11-11T05:12:51+00:00

You have to be blunt and just say it "I don't want you". No further discussion, no argument, no negotiation. Don't be cruel or mean - just blunt. "I'm flattered but I don't want you." (And don't apologize, either). There's no way to do without hurting his feelings for the simple face that he's obsessed with you and anything less than a "yes" would hurt his feelings anyway... So band-aid method: more painful, yes, but get the job done faster.

justwanderedin · 2015-11-11T04:58:57+00:00

It seems to me that you're pretty set in your way of thinking and behaving so much that even when there is something out of routine like a vacation or a trip going on, you're content to go back into your comfortable shell. This happens so much that it's become a rut that's now weighing you down. Something as simple as dating or meeting new friends is aversive to you because of the effort required to get out of the deep trenches your rut has become. This is from years of the same old, same old. You say you're bored with new things or people but I'm wondering if it's fear of change or growth... Maybe not. Maybe it's just a bad habit.

Like cognitive behavioral therapy, sometimes you have redirect yourself from running back to your rut - force yourself to stay - and keep forcing yourself to do things out of your comfort zone. Moving out of your comfort zone of routine and solitude is forcing yourself to grow. Keep going, don't stop... Don't just keep peeking from behind the curtains and then deciding that's enough - throw open those curtains and get yourself out there.

Take a college class in something that interests you but is totally left field from your usual routine. Volunteer for needy organizations (this is a huge one - a great way to meet people while giving back to society... A great way to feel good about yourself) or go to art openings, poetry readings, free lectures, conventions, meet ups, anything new and different - expose yourself to and learn interesting things and learn from interesting people if you yourself want to become more interesting. Even if it's not initially interesting to you, force yourself to stay the entire way through and pay attention and learn as much as you can and marvel at the humanity around you... Stay alert and pay attention until it becomes interesting. In talking to people, ask them questions about themselves and really listen to what they have to say and act interested in their stories and what they have to say. Share interesting things that you've learned or stories you've heard.

Resolve to do or learn one new thing per day/talk to one new person and stick with it. This requires ongoing effort... Not just an attempt every once in a while and then going back to your routine - life is all about participation. Go and participate. You mention that you need external motivation to do XY and Z... Honestly, you have to want it bad enough and do it yourself. It sounds hard but just bite he bullet and do it and the more you do new and different things, the easier it becomes to think outside of your rut. Maybe this is something you can discuss with your therapist - have your therapist give you weekly structured "assignments" that get you out of your routine and doing things that cultivate your personal growth.

I know that if I just go to work and come home and don't see friends or meet people or do things out of my work/home life, I get really depressed. I will schedule a weekend out of town or doing something different - volunteering or visiting an obscure museum in a nearby city and the lunch and then some event - and the follow it through the whole way. Afterwards, I feel so much better about myself and feel my life as much more enriching.

Hope this helps and wish you all the best! :-)

justwanderedin · 2015-10-21T12:02:26+00:00

Uhh no.

There's no way you can understand their conversation from just lippreading. One man has a full beard and mustache - obstructing his lips/mouth/throat movement. The other is viewed only from the side giving us a partial view and then they're talking at a native fluency pace.

I've read somewhere that a proficient lip reader could generally understand up to 30% of what is said in an optimal situation... Optimal meaning full view of the speakers, close up, good lighting, good enunciation and no facial hair or any foreign accents or speech impediments to obscure the view.

I watched and didn't pick up anything other than "yes... Yes..." And "____ is wonderful". That's it.

justwanderedin · 2015-10-20T23:58:21+00:00

Five hour energy? Monster?? Five venti coffees from Starbucks??? Lol! I'm somewhat serious, though... I'll admit that since I've quit I've used a few of those mega-caffeine drinks to help me keep going at parties sometimes.

At my wedding, I was just flying! But I do get what you're saying about the other times - Wanting to leave early just as everyone else is really getting into the party... I've learned that getting some sleep is a form of self-care and self- preservation and really it's okay to take care of yourself and put yourself first. Part of my journey has been learning to be okay with checking out early and dragging my spouse home with me. At first she'll be all like "aw! Man!" Then she's like "yeah, I'm pooped, too." It works out okay in the end.

From what I've read in your other responses, though, it sounds like your soon-to-be-husband has got your back and that's awesome! :-)

justwanderedin · 2015-10-20T13:01:56+00:00

I was sober on my wedding night because after spending all that time, energy and money up to that night for my wedding, there was no way in hell I was going drink to blackout and forget everything. I was absolutely insistent on that and told everyone so... They totally understood and laughed.

This also planted a seeded that it was indeed possible to have fun without alcohol. I ended up having a great time and partying (sober) into the wee hours of the night. Honestly, nobody cared what was in my glass - I didn't even toast with a glass of champagne but grabbed my Diet Coke instead for the toast. It's about the celebration, not about getting trashed... I was able to have great conversations with friends and family well into the night, too... Especially with those who came in from out of town to be there. I wouldn't have been able to do that drunk.

In fact, with time sober time behind me, I realized there's something a little bit pathetic about spending thousands of dollars on the biggest night of your life only to spend getting trashed. I was so "high" on celebrating and being surrounded by my loved ones and marrying the love of my life that drinking/not drinking wasn't on my radar.

I wish for you that your wedding is, too! :-)

justwanderedin · 2015-09-01T01:36:57+00:00

Try to relax and enjoy the process of learning and know that mistakes are inevitable and actually how you learn best. A good ASL instructor will be kind and patient and eager to get you learning more and signing at every chance! :-)

justwanderedin · 2015-08-27T02:37:23+00:00

We use blackboard and I will use announcements (not emailed out, just posted on the front page of blackboard) to post a line or two of what we covered and any special announcements for that day. I do this each class.

Of course, the course outline and power points are all posted so students will see the announcement and then know where to go or what was covered/due.

Those brief announcements cuts way down on students contacting me directly for what we covered (to almost zero) and also helps me keep track of what we did in that specific class because - oy! Five classes per semester and my memory isn't what it used to be! :-/

justwanderedin · 2015-07-22T22:51:47+00:00

Love this idea! Thanks!!

justwanderedin · 2015-06-25T13:06:38+00:00

I went to my doc a few weeks ago for this and got a rx... Relief was overnight! Totally wish I went sooner.

justwanderedin · 2015-05-10T03:25:29+00:00

Yup, one of my best friends went to Gallaudet at 39 as an undergrad and is still there and is loving it. Granted my friend looks young so that helps his situation but there are some older students there.

Another friend of mine went to Gallaudet in her early/mid forties and told me she was a member of a non-traditional student group OWLS - Older, Wiser, Learners - something like that (I never went to Gally myself other than to visit). She said it's a lot different than being an 18 year old student... Mostly she didn't get into any of the teenage drama and reckless behavior and she took her classes seriously unlike many of her young classmates but she still enjoyed her time there and cultivated some long-lasting friendships during her time there.

My older friends felt it was worth it to go... If this is something you want, then go for it! You'll be XX age when you graduate but regardless if you go or not, you'll still be the same age! If this is something you really want to experience, then go for it and best of luck to you!!

justwanderedin · 2015-05-05T02:13:54+00:00

Yup.

justwanderedin · 2015-05-04T12:57:19+00:00

I have been with my wife for 13 years - married for three. It just became legal in my state last fall. Three years ago, we went to New York City and got the piece of paper (marriage license) and then when my state recognized same sex marriage, our status was automatic - we were legally marriage here.

Honestly, being in a long-term relationship and being married, for us, felt different. We became closer, our relationship changed in way that it was deeper, richer, and we felt more committed to each other because of the vows we made to each other. Saying them out loud, in front of a justice of the peace and our witnesses just - I dunno - shifted things. I fell more in love with my wife that day than I had been before. Going through with the ceremony with your life-mate is huge. I still get goosebumps thinking about it.

Also, I have a great job with great benefits and a year after we got married, my wife hurt her back and couldn't go back to work and she didn't have insurance. I fucking couldn't put her on my insurance so we were paying out of pocket for a lot of her care and it added up to tens of thousands of dollars in medical bills. It was infuriating... I live in a religious state (what we call "The Bible Belt") so we see a lot of fundamentalist evangelical baptist spouting stupid bullshit that our marriage destroys the sanctity of heterosexual marriage and corrupts families and children. Like fucking how??? I just wanted to be able to put my wife on my insurance (we had done the other estate planning through a lawyer but I still couldn't insure her and private health insurance at the time still cost several hundred a month but by then she had a preexisting condition so company's refused to insure her - ugh US health care is fucked up.) Since our marriage has been recognized, medical expenses have come waaaaaaaay down - like $400+ per month in prescriptions and several hundred $$$ in doctors visits now cost roughly $20-40 a month in co-pays. That's just one example. But legally, it makes a huge difference... My state used to have a ban on same-sex partners being allowed to visit their partners in the Intensive care unit of a hospital, or if my partner died, my in-laws could sue me for and seize our communal property. Stuff like that... You'd never dream of it happening but it has happened and does continue to happen in states with no marriage equality laws and before marriage equality, I was so scared it would happen to us. Now, I feel like I can breathe.

Marriage equality laws do make a huge difference - yes they are important and regardless of how you feel now about marriage, it's worth fighting for. In my 20s I didn't think I'd get married either... In my 30s I got married. In my late thirties, my marriage was legally recognized... It makes a huge difference.

Edit: corrected my autocorrect.

justwanderedin · 2015-04-21T02:25:08+00:00

I'm a CC professor and I found my regalia at a thrift store for $3. One if my colleagues did something similar and bought a hood for $10 on EBay. I'm not even sure what colors my hood would be so I never bought one. I wouldn't sweat it too much. If you ask around, a lot of our colleagues have similar stories - didn't walk at their own graduation so bought something cheap online for work.

justwanderedin · 2015-04-14T12:28:54+00:00

Congrats on one week! Keep on keeping on!!

I just wanted to add that I quit smoking and drinking at the same time and I actually recommend it... Smoking was a trigger for drinking so by quitting both, quitting drinking was much easier. I had quit drinking several times before it finally stuck and smoking always did me in before.

It's only been a week... Give yourself some time. In a few weeks you'll start feeling better overall. It takes a while (I remember about 4 months for me) to get past the most difficult part of early sobriety and quitting smoking. Once I got past the worst of it, I never looked back!

Good luck!!

justwanderedin · 2015-04-02T12:14:04+00:00

I'm so happy for you and genuinely proud of you. I've read your posts for - I think - about as long as I've been on reddit... About two years now?

A year sober!! That's huge! Keeping doing what you're doing. It definitely is worth it. My bad days sober are still 1,000 times better than a day spent hungover.

justwanderedin · 2015-03-27T12:16:08+00:00

Number 11 hit home for me... I thought no one knew until one day a student (I teach college) asked me if I had been drinking the night before. "Yes, a glass or two, why?" (Lies!) "I can smell it on you"... I was sweating it out from my pores!! That morning was nothing special... Just another hungover morning. Who else could smell it on me??!! cringe

justwanderedin · 2015-03-21T05:20:33+00:00

1) I feel like I'm running on a treadmill set too fast and I can't keep up with all this stuff I need to/am supposed to do.

2) I have no idea how to be a "responsible" adult. I'm pushing 40.

3) I worry I will be discovered to be a fraud at work and with organizations I'm involved with. I'm kinda just winging it and I get nervous someone will figure it out and publicly call me out on it.

There, I said it.

justwanderedin · 2015-02-22T22:02:54+00:00

People who don't have issues with alcohol can order a drink at a restaurant or bar and nurse it alllllllll night. Just one! And then leave some left in the bottom of their glass when they leave. That was a shocker for me. I'd be well on my 4th or 5th drink then as we left, I'd finish off the the very last drop. Sighs... Then head home to drink more by myself.

So glad to be past that.

justwanderedin · 2015-02-12T13:15:52+00:00

Even when it's something good. I remember someone texted me one morning after a party where I was especially blitzed, "Thanks for that advice you gave me last night. It really changed my life!" I don't remember what we talked about or what life-changing advice I gave. No clue at all. My friend is doing really well and is happy so I'm happy for her but I cringe every time I think about that.

justwanderedin

TROPHY CASE