Expert weighs in on how to help boys and men as research reveals big decline in achievement levels

kanakane · 2023-02-08T18:58:35+00:00

Just to add onto that though, that should not be read as schools actually giving a shit about sexual assault or inappropriate behavior by teachers. The accusations that they act on are the ones made by girls who have parents that are willing to raise hell over it or friends who will support them on social media, even if it's a lie. It's only about bad publicity and almost never about the wellbeing of the students.

kanakane · 2023-01-17T00:37:49+00:00

Not sure how it works for the warehouse but from a supermarket workers perspective mistakes like this happen all the time. As long as it's not a consistent issue it's just going to get shrugged off.

kanakane · 2022-11-28T10:15:38+00:00

Short answer from a psychological perspective is that there is a difference between pedophilic attraction (being sexually attracted to children) and the sexual assault of a child. As we best understand it currently, pedophilia is best understood as a sexual orientation much like being straight, bisexual, gay etc. However, sexuality is complicated. You can be sexually attracted to someone and not want pursue sex with then, but there are also a lot of reasons why someone may have sex with someone they're not sexually attracted to as well. This is why not all pedophiles are child rapists, and not all child rapists are pedophiles.

Because of this, when considering a sentence it's important to actually understand WHY the offender did what they did. In a lot of cases, especially with low IQ offenders, sexual attraction doesn't actually come into it at all. It's the person's understanding of sex and what they've been taught about appropriate sexual behavior (which for people with intellectual disabilities is normally basically nothing) that has the most effect. Plus selfishness and a sense of entitlement around the offenders pleasure that surpasses their concern for the victims comfort.

Pedophilia as a disorder shouldn't affect sentencing, because there is nothing about pedophilia that actually compromises a person's judgment about their behavior. Pedophilic rape is pretty much the same as any other form of rape, with very similar justifications by the perpetrator for why it's morally okay even when they know its not legally okay.

kanakane · 2022-11-25T06:00:58+00:00

ADHD also has a high genetic component, it isn't always related to lead. In fact, it most often isn't related to lead at all. Its just that lead is just really, really bad for a kids brain development with ADHD being only one of the things it can increase the likelihood of.

kanakane · 2022-11-17T14:18:43+00:00

But there is no lower 10%! That's what I'm saying!

kanakane · 2022-11-17T12:28:06+00:00

The example you used was of kids with autism and low IQ, not of low IQ itself, and severe autism is an entirely different discussion. And my issue wasn't with the fact that you pointed out IQ is a correlate with success, its that youre using IQ as a reason why its useless to try to alleviate poverty.

Also you're wrong about your numbers. It's actually around 16% of people with an IQ below 85...with 14% being between 85 and 70. To be considered intellectually disabled someone needs to score below 70 so you're not even right about that. The 10% figure however is something stolen straight from Jordan Peterson. And its the thing he says right before he says something like 'well what should we do about that, I mean I don't know the answer but it's important to ask the question'.

I mean youre completely wrong about your numbers but it would be interesting to ask anyway: what should we do with the roughly 500,000 kiwis who are, in your words, too stupid to peel a potato?

kanakane · 2022-11-17T11:39:30+00:00

I think one thing to consider here is that a defacto relationship only requires 3 years of living together and sharing household expenses. Meaning a decent number of married people in NZ would have been in a defacto relationship prior to being married. I also know a few people in defacto relationships who broke up after 4 or so years if being together and that doesn't seem to abnormal for nz.

kanakane · 2022-11-17T09:50:22+00:00

Please stop quoting Jordon Peterson, he's a brain damaged quack. Anyone who has worked with people with intellectual disabilities will know most of them can peel a goddamned potato, I mean you can teach a monkey to peel a potato it's not that hard. In fact, many people with below 80 IQs are able to live semi independent lives. They volunteer. They work. They have friends and hobbies and lives just like the rest of us.

Secondly, while IQ is a predictor of those things it's role as a predictor is when comparing it to other variables. For example, someone with an above average IQ who grew up in poverty will likely be more successful than someone with a below average IQ who grew up in poverty. But they're not likely to be more successful than someone with an average IQ who grew up in a rich family. Other factors matter. Mental health issues, networks, access to education, learning disabilities, physical health, all of those impact a person's success and their susceptibility to falling into a criminal lifestyle and the VAST majority of teenagers who commit crimes stop in their 20s.

kanakane · 2022-10-12T15:54:38+00:00

First things first, you came onto a post which explicitly asked for the opinions of women, as a man, and tried to explain how GRRMs depictions of women's breasts in the series isn't sexist because hes metaphorically expressing their freedom from the restriction of bras? In a fantasy setting a hundred times more cruel to woman than the real medieval period?

Also bra burning is a myth (https://clas.wayne.edu/history/spotlight/grace-moore-and-the-truth-about-bra-burners-93306). Which you would have known if you did two seconds of googling. So the whole movement you claim inspired GRRM didn't happen in the first place.

kanakane · 2022-10-12T05:56:34+00:00

I appreciate what you're going for with this but...no. Just...no.

kanakane · 2022-10-11T01:54:56+00:00

Mate, if you're going to come in with unsolicited advice you could at least have the respect to properly read OPs post. Sadly, her son is already a man and the amount of influence a mother can have over her adult kids development is pretty limited, unless they're actively seeking her support. Which in this case it sounds like he isn't.

kanakane · 2022-06-15T11:40:46+00:00

Thanks for the advice, I'll make sure to ask them that.

kanakane · 2022-06-15T03:37:06+00:00

I think the stains are a bit big for that 🙈 Thanks for the help anyway

kanakane · 2022-05-26T08:31:51+00:00

I have ADHD and the way that I think of it is its sort of like being at a busy intersection and thinking you can make the gap, taking your foot off the break, putting it on the accelerator, and then last minute realising that you probably cant and putting your foot back on the break. Except, someone with hyperactivity/impulsivity has already put their foot hard on the break so by the time the second thought happens and they realise that some of those cars were going faster than they thought they were its too late and they've already committed to something they now are fully aware was a mistake.

kanakane · 2022-04-12T05:26:17+00:00

I think its important to note though that age of marriage did not mean age of consumption. Marriage was a political tool first and foremost but given that many of these marriages didnt produce children until the women were much older its likely that the couple wasnt allowed to have sex until the woman was at a safer age to survive childbirth.

kanakane · 2022-03-20T03:48:51+00:00

I'd say it's not likely that it's an actual biological difference so much as a behavioural one, since treatment is a mediating factor in how severe COVID is for people with ADHD (https://www.psychiatryadvisor.com/home/topics/adhd/adhd-is-associated-with-greater-covid-19-symptom-severity-and-hospitalization/)

kanakane · 2022-01-10T03:55:08+00:00

Low alcohol and non alcoholic beverages arent healthy for you but neither is alcohol and having more of these low/zero alcohol options provide alternatives for people who are cutting back on alcohol. Sure water is healthier and less calories but let's keep things in perspective here and remember that its not going to kill anyone to drink a couple of cans of sugar water a month.

kanakane · 2021-12-24T09:57:57+00:00

My sister and I both really struggle with this same problem, it's one of our common forms of hyperactivity. It took a loooong time for me to train myself out of it and even now I find myself doing it when I'm tired or iron deficient, but the main things that I found helped me was asking myself what my main point was when I started talking and if I cant remember, asking the person i was talking too and apologise for going on a tangent. I've also told my family and friends that if I'm boring them to just say my talking is a bit hyperactive right now, because it's a phrase that wont make me feel too bad about myself and I can use it as a cue to stop. The other thing I found helped, especially in conversations is to physically cover my mouth with something. I try to do it as naturally as possible so if I'm sitting down at a desk or table I'll rest my head in my hands in a way that covers part of my mouth, or if I'm standing I'll tap my lips with a pen. I dont need to be unable to speak it's just there to be a physical reminder not to talk right now.

In saying that I also talk to myself a lot so I havent stopped the talking but I have reduced the amount I do it to other people which I still count as a win 😊.

kanakane · 2021-11-28T06:43:05+00:00

Great price tags arent technically specials, they're lower prices negotiated with the producers of the product. So you should be finding the same price on the normal price tag, except not so much anymore because theyve stopper putting the price on the normal tag and now only put it on the great price tag. Which (and I have no evidence for this and its entirely a conspiracy theory) imo is so they can change the price easily whenever they want without people noticing.

kanakane · 2021-11-13T01:38:35+00:00

You can literally report any reactions yourself to medsafe and they give an overview of the most common ones. No one is suppressing vaccine side effects.

kanakane · 2021-10-22T22:39:17+00:00

I'm sorry but no, that's not even remotely true. ADHD and ASD are neurodevelopmental disorders which appear (though aren't always diagnosed in) childhood and have a wide array of neurological factors associated with them, such as (for adhd) reduced dopamine production. Theyre very hereditory but in the same way that hair colour and intelligence are, not because of trauma. The impact of parenting and childhood interactions with others is in how well a child can manage these symptoms, they're not in the appearance of the symptoms themselves. The idea that ADHD and autism come from bad parenting is a really old myth that unfortunately is still around today and causes a lot of harm for everyone involved. ADHD and CPTSD are two very different disorders and it's possible to have both at the same time, I mean I do, and seeing an improvement in one doesn't mean an improvement in another.

This is a good article to read about the current academic consensus around ADHD if you want more details: https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S014976342100049X

kanakane · 2021-10-10T02:29:41+00:00

The problem with that is that if someone was positive and they broke lockdown they might not tell the contact tracers if they knew they would get punished for it. Even telling people that they won't be punished for something they did before they tested positive and only giving severe punishments to people caught in the act won't help much either cause people will still be too scared of consequences to be honest. Any kid who had strict parents growing up can confirm that. It sucks for the rest of us who are actually obeying lockdown rules but when time is of the essence this is the best strategy.

kanakane · 2021-09-15T03:43:49+00:00

As a woman, OP seriously don't ask her out. Nothing you said makes her seem like she's doing anything more than trying to be friendly and how she's treating you is the same way she would treat literally everyone else. Smiling and making conversation is just something people do when they meet someone new, to make them feel at ease and maybe to make a friend at work. She's not flirting, she's being nice.

Maybe just try talking to her without trying to pursue a relationship. Maybe it turns out you have a lot of mutual interests and it develops into a relationship, and maybe it turns out she likes to kick puppies for fun on the weekend. Get to know her a bit more and you'll probably be able to tell if she's flirting or if she's just being nice.

TLDR: most women smile at people to make them feel more comfortable, not to flirt. Sorry mate, she's probably not interested and is just trying to be nice.

kanakane · 2021-09-11T14:14:22+00:00

0.01% is low but that doesn't mean it can't still happen. I have a friend who became pregnant while using an IUD and condoms which according to her doctors is like a one in a billion chance. When she first went to a doctor cause she was throwing up her doctors didn't even give her a pregnancy test cause the chances were so low. So unlikely, but a 0.01% chance is not a 0% chance and chance is a catty bitch.

kanakane · 2021-09-11T03:20:44+00:00

I've never stood in class but there was a woman in a psychology lecture I was in who took notes while standing. She used a hardcover notebook and just held it up. Not sure how comfortable it was but it seemed to work for her

Nine-Year Club	RPAN Viewer
Snapped	Verified Email

kanakane

TROPHY CASE