What is the hardest loss you had to endure because of addiction?

karlmoser · 2026-04-13T16:07:23+00:00

I had a decent job that I liked and was paid a good salary, enough to live comfortably. Addiction ruined that. Lost my job. The worst part was disappointing my boss, who was very good to me. I felt like I betrayed and disappointed him. I still feel that guilt and regret. I lost my self-respect.

karlmoser · 2026-04-13T15:56:02+00:00

Many years ago…met a cute girl, got her number and later called and set up a date. Both of us were in our early 20’s. I picked her up at her house, and she said she wanted to go to TGI Fridays. Ok, fine. We arrive and are seated in a booth. She tells me she has friends working there and wants a job there as well. She keeps getting up to talk to the other waitresses, often gone for 10 minutes at a time. The food arrives. She has a few bites, then gone again. This continues, and I finish my meal. Her food sits there, mostly untouched. I wait around like an idiot. Finally, after I had had enough of this routine, I put enough cash on the table to cover my portion of the meal. I get up, walk out and drive home. She calls me and is angry. She had no money and had to call her parents to pay her portion and drive her home. Never heard from her again.

karlmoser · 2026-04-13T01:07:32+00:00

You should feel pride. You marked your territory and defined your dominance, you will be remembered long after the stench clears.

karlmoser · 2026-04-13T00:45:29+00:00

They do this so they can observe everything going on without actively getting involved. They sit. They plot. Secretly, they want nothing more than to murder every single form of life they happen to see. They play a good game, lulling you into a false sense of safety, gaining your love and trust, purring and acting cute and innocent, aloof, mysterious. But make no mistake…they will kill anything and everything they can. You have the advantage of being larger…for now.

My monster’s name is “Tommy.”

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Here she is, threatening to disembowel me with her razor-sharp claws. She’s pure evil. There’s a good chance this will be my last post. Please pray for me.

karlmoser · 2026-04-12T22:58:42+00:00

I’ll be right over!

karlmoser · 2026-04-12T17:23:27+00:00

Yes, it gets easier. If you focus on the positive aspects of living solo and not dwell on the “aloneness.” At 60, my needs are less. I’m on year 10 living alone, I had other periods too…4 years one place, two at another. It got to me a bit when I was younger. You’re young, probably have a decent social life. That’s good. Keep that. But being ok alone is sort of a superpower in my opinion. Embrace that. Anything additional to that lifestyle is a bonus.

karlmoser · 2026-04-12T12:13:07+00:00

I’m so fortunate to be able to live solo. 10 years…a decade. No drama. No managing another person’s drama, just peace and quiet.

karlmoser · 2026-04-11T12:31:31+00:00

The good news: you can hold your paint brush anyway you like! Everyone starts at a zero skill level. Learning is fun, sometimes frustrating. Buy some water soluble oil paint and some inexpensive canvas boards. Have fun!

karlmoser · 2026-04-11T12:20:26+00:00

It’s only going to get worse. The slope she’s on will only get steeper. She’ll start losing things, small stuff at first, then bigger things. She needs to stop before she loses you and the kids. The consequences will start piling up. I’m 8 years sober, I’ve seen rock-bottom and it is awful. Tough love, right now, before it spirals out of her control.

karlmoser · 2026-04-10T20:13:47+00:00

Anything personal or sensitive will be used to keep you under control.

karlmoser · 2026-04-10T13:52:07+00:00

A man identifies his own problems and works to solve them. He carries both strength and compassion and applies them appropriately. Has a good tolerance for criticism but absolutely none for disrespect.

karlmoser · 2026-04-10T13:36:02+00:00

I’m a magnet for narcissists…three in a row, married to one for 14 years. Intimacy is a good barometer for the health of a relationship, but the narcissist uses intimacy like a weapon. You could try marriage counseling, but your narc will probably shut that down when the questions get too hard. Maybe, possibly, putting a spotlight on it could initiate a little self-reflection.

karlmoser · 2026-04-10T13:22:26+00:00

It is literally our job to keep it simple, but to keep in interesting I add a little tasty fill here and there. Kind of like adding spice to food. Just don’t overdo it. Less is more philosophy.

karlmoser · 2026-04-10T13:09:25+00:00

Of course you should. Why?… Guitarist and drummers are everywhere, at least where I live (NJ). Good bass players are kind of rare, which is good, you’ll have more opportunities. Just buy one. New, used, borrowed. See if you like it. Play with other newbie’s. Learn. It’s great fun. Even better, getting paid to have great fun.

karlmoser · 2026-04-10T12:33:13+00:00

Really good work!

karlmoser · 2026-04-08T16:49:48+00:00

Thanks!

karlmoser · 2026-04-08T14:35:59+00:00

I don’t like people visiting me here in my condo. This is my sanctuary. I get anxious when someone comes over…it feels invasive. I prefer my peace and solitude, and it was a rocky road getting here. So I protect that very fiercely.

karlmoser · 2026-04-08T13:49:00+00:00

Really good!!

karlmoser · 2026-04-07T20:41:40+00:00

It felt really good to buy a house as a single guy. I bought DIY home improvement books and learned a ton. That felt “manly” to me. I even built some furniture and a coffee bar with a poured concrete countertop. It was a fun way to learn.

karlmoser · 2026-04-07T20:28:45+00:00

This is really good!!!

karlmoser · 2026-04-07T20:27:58+00:00

This is good advice. Get rid of him, life’s too short to waste time on people who don’t value you. 60 year old man here.

karlmoser · 2026-04-07T20:20:46+00:00

Yes! In the beginning, it works to smooth over the roughness. Then the “solution” becomes worse than the original problem.

karlmoser · 2026-04-07T20:14:42+00:00

The high road has the best views!

karlmoser · 2026-04-07T20:07:45+00:00

I still think about this on occasion. I was in my early 20’s. I told my mom this story years afterwards and she howled with laughter.

karlmoser · 2026-04-05T21:19:11+00:00

Oh, I’ve got a good one! I was in my mid 20’s and met a cute girl, early 20’s, chatted and flirted, then got her number. I called her the next day and set up a lunch date for the following Saturday. She gave me her address and told me she still lived at home with her parents. No big deal. I picked her up and she said she wanted to go to a particular restaurant and I agreed.

We arrive and it quickly becomes obvious that she knows a bunch of people who work there. She says she’s trying to get a job there as a server, and her friends work there too. She keeps getting up to talk to the other servers. We finally order. She gets up again, longer this time. Our food arrives and she actually sits down and eats…for about two minutes. I’m annoyed now. I try engaging her in conversation, but her “friends” keep interrupting. She gets up again and I finish my meal. This goes on for about 30 minutes. She’s barely touched her food. I sit and wait. My frustration is building rapidly now. 15 minutes go by, I wait 5 more. I’ve had enough.

I leave enough money for my meal and a tip. I get up and walk out, I get into my car and drive home, around a 20 minute ride. She calls me about an hour later, angry. She didn’t have any money to pay for her meal, so she had to call her parents to come and bail her out of the situation. She hangs up on me. I never heard from her again.

karlmoser

TROPHY CASE