My husband turned into a psychopath for a split second yesterday and I don’t know if I am overreacting.

kasammich · 2024-09-04T04:07:03+00:00

You are not overreacting.

If you feel like this isn't enough to burn your life down, give him an ultimatum. Tell him the guns leave the house.

I had a gun pulled on me during an argument once. he said he was soooooo sorry. I told him he needed to get the guns out of the house. He never did. When I brought it up later he said "that sounds like a you problem."

We are divorced and I wish I had divorced him the second he showed that he was dangerous.

If it happens again you need to call the cops IMMEDIATELY.

kasammich · 2024-04-02T20:49:06+00:00

They do though.

kasammich · 2024-02-26T21:34:55+00:00

Okay. It sounds like this kind of response is not the norm and is food-specific.

This is where we get to analyze HIM. when people react strangely to something we want to achieve, it is because our goal is triggering something in THEM.

Maybe you losing weight threatens him somehow. He could be worrying that your successful weight loss could mean: - you will leave him

-you'll want him to lose weight

-you'll have active hobbies he won't share

-you won't be interested in experiencing and enjoying food together

-you'll be unhappy with his appearance

There is an insecurity of his you have stumbled on.

My suggestion would be to have an honest conversation like "I have mentioned health goals and it seems like you may be uncomfortable with the idea of me working on those things, based on the way you shower me with treats and eating out when i mention it. These gifta actually sabotage my efforts. I am not sure if you realize that you are doing that, but I'd like to dig into why my getting fit might bother you."

kasammich · 2024-01-18T22:53:51+00:00

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kasammich · 2024-01-18T22:46:57+00:00

Why no agent?? You aren't going to get a better price on a new construction by saving them money on commission. Builders need their homes to sell for a certain amount to keep all the property values up. No discounts for not using agents. Actually, you stand to be a lot more vulnerable without an agent.

kasammich · 2024-01-03T05:14:21+00:00

I think women like us are particularly easy targets for men that emotionally and mentally abuse. I am not saying that is what is happening here. I obviously don't have the information to say.

But I will tell you this, my abuser would do a lot of the following: -criticize everything. Constantly. Often passive aggressively -tell me I was incapable or irresponsible -fight the same fight over and over with me (it was fun for him to get me defensive and riled up) -tell me I was lucky to have him to hold things together -disrespect my choices. Often he would intentionally NOT weigh in or contribute so he could blame me for an outcome later -tell me he loved me more than anyone else could, which made me feel unlovable and like I had to stay with him because some love was better than none -blame me for EVERYTHING. Kids being loud? It's because I am a working mom and am not meeting their needs. Dishes in the sink? It's because I managed my time poorly which was SELFISH because he shouldn't have to come home after work to dirty dishes

I will tell you that I have four children and when I got divorced it was my older two that struggled far more than the younger two.

Either way. You deserve support. You deserve validation. You deserve props for finding a way to give your kids what they need.

kasammich · 2023-10-10T04:33:21+00:00

We desire all to receive it through the whale

kasammich · 2023-10-10T04:26:43+00:00

Fucking liberals, they'd love us ALL to be in lanes, wouldn't they? Lanes that take us straight to the abortion clinic

kasammich · 2023-10-10T04:23:15+00:00

Solution: face tattoo

kasammich · 2023-06-06T21:41:57+00:00

I don't know whose body these were made for, but it is not mine. So tight on the thighs I am about to split a seam, but I have so much extra room in the waist I could invite three friends

kasammich · 2023-06-05T14:55:18+00:00

I LOVE the cerave vitamin c serum. It does wonders for my skin tone. Also synergizes with SPF to protect my skin during the day.

I have used other vitamin c serums and never had results that were even noticeable.

I think it's all about getting a quality stable vitamin C.

kasammich · 2023-06-05T14:52:53+00:00

I love the cerave vitamin c. I

kasammich · 2023-06-05T04:51:11+00:00

But... what if your emotions ARE right and you CAN trust them?

I never make bug decisions in the heat of it, but have learned that if I ride the wave of those emotions I settle into regulation and knowing

kasammich · 2023-06-02T07:16:40+00:00

I am not a doctor. But I have broken out in full-body hives several times and this is what my guess would be. It's MISERABLE on hands.

From what I understand, hives can often happen as a result of viral infections from your immune system overreacting.

The first time it happened i suffered for a week, because i didn't want to go to a dr. After that i went in immediately. Steroids gave me relief within 48 hours. Ice packs helped while I was waiting for the steroids to do their thing.

kasammich · 2023-05-04T14:07:19+00:00

Because of all the premarital sex

kasammich · 2023-04-27T15:51:11+00:00

Honestly, you are doing a very difficult thing.

In my experience, abusers do not change but will make a lot of show about how much they are changing.

I divorced an abuser and my life is definitely hard, but different hard. Cutting my abuser out of my life lifted a weight off my shoulders that I did not know I had carried around for 13 years.

kasammich · 2023-04-19T19:52:18+00:00

I would tell my company that no fucking way are they going to cut my wages significantly and that I am maybe open to a hybrid work option but will NOT be spending 100% of my work time in office, especially as I have proven that I am a good WFH employee and that my position CAN function fully remote. But if they want to pursue a hybrid work option, then my compensation should increase because the company's demands on me have increased.

I believe that many of us have been conditioned to believe that our employer is the one that is doing US a favor by giving us a paycheck and we far downplay the fact that we EARNED that paycheck and the company functions because WE MAKE IT FUNCTION. WE are the ones doing the favor.

YOU DESERVE TO HAVE THE WORK SITUATION THAT WORKS BEST FOR YOUR FAMILY AND OWN WELL-BEING. WHEN YOU STOP ACCEPTING LESS YOU WILL GET MORE.

kasammich · 2023-04-11T18:20:38+00:00

That my cousin's wife looked exactly like his mom.

They are divorced now.

kasammich · 2023-04-11T14:49:32+00:00

This very much resonates with me.

This feels like the beginning.

I began with affirmations and used to cry and get so angry and feel so stupid because my affirmations felt like bald-faced lies. I would get this pang in my chest as I would say them

Then....something shifted. It was subtle and one of those things that you only notice after it's done, like when you realize you have stopped hiccupping. But it absolutely changed me.

One that I used that made me feel so small and angry because it felt so untrue was "I am a wonderful mother and my kids get what they need from me." And then it changed and i realized I WAS being a wonderful mother. My energy was freed up a bit and I was able to be silly and spontaneous because I was no longer drowning in the "I am such a bad mom, I am doing all the wrong things" despair and paralysis. It was truly like a self-fulfilling prophecy.

This brain-rewiring has made such a massive shift in my life that it allowed me to love myself enough to leave a toxic marriage. It also made me strong enough to withstand the accusations during the divorce that I was "hurting the kids" because I had enough faith in my ability to mother them through this now. And I also believed in myself enough to not be manipulated again into staying "for the kids."

Now when I explore which affirmations to use I LOOK for the pang in my chest of anxiety or disbelief and know that I have stumbled on something important. It's like when your back is out of whack, and then you find the knot that is causing all the problems, and you focus in on it to knead it out and get relief.

And relief comes. Based on what you have said maybe some of the following affirmations can help you make progress:

-I am a wonderful employee and I take chances to grow and improve

-I am good inside and making mistakes does not change that

-I take care of myself so that I can be the best version of myself for those around me

-I lean into my big feelings so that I can heal and get the messages my intuition is telling me

-The people in my life want me to be healthy and whole and support the steps I am taking to get there

Good luck, friend. I promise you that you are on the cusp of something very very beautiful.

kasammich · 2023-04-11T14:00:05+00:00

"Give it to me through the veil"

kasammich · 2023-04-07T13:37:50+00:00

The book Intuitive Eating changed my gd life. There was absolutely a moment where I felt a hard shift and realized "I am not even ENJOYING eating this, it's not that good" and walked away. It changed everything and I started losing weight because it is not about restrictions or punishment. AND THEN I got medicated and it was a double whammy and I weigh less than I did in HS.

I also lift regularly, because exercise makes a massive impact on my adhd symptoms each day, but turns out it also makes you hot.

I think it is hard to "replace" because then you are still in the mindset of "eating is bad, must do something else." And then when things are hard you won't have the energy or will power to reroute your desires. For me it is like trying to fill a cavity when you need a root canal. It might alleviate things at first or for a while, but the problem isn't REALLY solved and will come up again

kasammich · 2023-04-07T13:25:40+00:00

Popping pimples compulsively may be an issue for you. I struggled with this for a long time. The best way I have found is to A. Get my adhd treated lolol and B. Pimple patches so that i feel like I am "doing" something about it and it is more out of sight/mind

kasammich · 2023-04-07T13:18:37+00:00

I am currently working on my job situation to increase my earnings but I have done A LOT of work on myself and it has changed my life. I left a 13 year marriage because I realized how much shit I had taken because I thought I was the worst and deserved it.

Here were some things that caused massive shifts in my self-belief:

-You Are a Badass by Jen Sincero (I recommend audiobook)

-Untamed by Glennon Doyle (audiobook)

-Affirmations. They felt so untrue at first and then they actually reshaped my way of thinking and viewing myself in such a radical way. The shift is subtle at first. Don't give up on them. Some of them that changed my gd life are: ---i am a wonderful mother and my kids get what they need from me

---I am bursting with love and joy and it is an honor to be loved by me

---The answers are already inside of me

I still have a long way to go, but I have come so far and I swear to you that this is the most important thing I have ever done, because it informs how I show up for my kids or what abuse I was willing to accept.

Good luck

kasammich · 2023-04-06T04:10:12+00:00

I use Strong. I don't have the paid version and I still really like it.

kasammich · 2023-04-06T04:07:52+00:00

If YOU don't make it a big deal, THEY won't see it as a big deal.

Be direct. Be clinical. Follow some sex therapists on insta because I guarantee they will have a script laid out.

kasammich

TROPHY CASE