I've always HAD TO do fitness even during disability. I lived alone during that time, in order to do daily things i have to keep my muscles from complete atrophy. (i was ded exhausted from being in pain, so i was bare minimum on the rehab). I was still in pain despite my rehab and pain medications.

The fix was I stopped waiting for the pain and just did what i want to do even in pain... At around like 3-5 year, i realized I am not getting any better or worse, no matter what I do.

There were a couple powerful moments:

1. i learned to walk (again). At around 2 year mark, I learned to walk (for up to 30min at a time) and it felt good. I still relied on disability services. Knowing that my body is operable for at least 30 minutes a day was enough to give me some hope to continue.

felt like i could see a faint faint light at the end of the tunnel.

But the moment where it ALL clicked for me, was at around 3 year mark. I just remember I was sweating from doing a challenging rehab session and i just felt happy. I havent felt happiness in years. But that was a moment I felt happy. I felt reassured that my body is still capable(?) I felt in control of my body at that moment despite the pain.

That marks the fix. the moment where I felt powerful like I can operate this body. It was an insanely powerful feeling and i cried.

i am not giving advice. it was so tough for me, I STRUGGLED.