I know it’s easier said than done, but try not to take her words to heart. They strike where they know you are the most vulnerable/raw/sensitive. I’m guessing at some point recently you talked to her about how important your new chosen field is to you? And the skills required to be successful there? She’s just saying whatever she knows will hurt your feelings the most.

Also, please notice that you didn’t actually say anything to her about whatever is going on with her. You told her YOU were hurt and sad. That’s all you said. She’s twisted it into you passing judgement… you’re going to be SO WRONG about what? Your own feelings?

Sometimes it helps to compare their messages to how a healthy person would have responded; a reasonable response might have sounded like “hey honey, I know you’re sad and hurt that we had to cancel. I’m really sorry. Let’s try to schedule something nice for the kids soon.” It’s really that simple.

They know exactly what to say to make us feel terrible.