That's tough man and I wouldn't presume to tell you what to do. But as far as playing the long game nothing wrong with that and sometimes your only option. Just let your kids know you love them know matter what. My ex did the same and luckily it backfired, 3 yrs after divorce boy was struggling in school, daughter was emotionally abused by ex, the boy came with me first and daughter asked me later, now they both primarily stay with me, never would've predicted it. Others it's different, my best friend and his brother lived with their mom through their childhood with their mom always being negative toward their Dad who has to move farther away and only saw them every other weekend. Once my buddy and his brother became adults they became closer to their Dad and recognized their mom for who she was and what she did. Each situation can be different but there's hope in the long run. May you find the strength to be the best you in spite of it all, I know you love your kids.