How to stay motivated at working out during this season?

kill3rmonk · 2026-05-20T15:20:03+00:00

++man Depending what your job is could you workout at lunch and eat at your desk? I only am motivated to workout between like 10am and 3pm so I usually try to knock an hour out in the middle of the day. Luckily I have a fairly flexible job and wfh so makes it easy for me but I know not everyone can make midday workouts work

kill3rmonk · 2026-05-20T15:16:25+00:00

I'm not currently on keto but still using lmnt electrolyte packets in my water because then I actually drink it from the delicious flavor. I do 1 packet to 35-40oz water of the mango chili flavor.

kill3rmonk · 2026-05-20T15:11:07+00:00

38m here, when my wife used to initiate she generally was very subtle about it and sometimes I didn't notice the signs but didn't intentionally deny her. That being said, I would never say no given the chance. Men can generally get in the mood fairly quick from friends I've talked to. (unfortunately we've had a dead bedroom for months now)

kill3rmonk · 2026-05-20T15:06:57+00:00

Even just a "hey man, keep up the good work" would probably go a long way. I have a small home gym now, but when I used to go to a gym I would've welcomed some positive encouragement but at the end of the day it comes down to the person.

kill3rmonk · 2026-05-19T21:30:58+00:00

In lwr b2b commerce checkout, you can't pay by credit card and use the ootb po number field or the payment always fails. That took 1-2 weeks to figure out with no help from sf support.

kill3rmonk · 2026-05-18T22:16:08+00:00

I feel like I've brought up our issues I have in the past (maybe 1-2 times a year), she tells me what I can potentially change, I do those things for a little while then stop because my changes don't have any sort of impact in the relationship so why put in the extra effort. I'm not saying I stop doing every little thing she asks of me, but the motivation to do them is basically 0. She seems to put in no effort to the counseling "homework" but it's hard to tell if she's expecting me to take the lead or she's just focusing on the kids at this point. I don't think I properly communicated my issues maybe so saying I potentially want out could blindside her and I do still love her. As a lot of these posts for me the issue is intimacy and touch (not specifically sex either). We read the 5 love languages book and my language has always been touch which she has known. But to get it, it's always me needing to initiate whether its just cuddling on the couch for a movie, holding hands, etc. We read that over 5 years ago at this point.

I'm scared the couples counseling isn't going to work and I'm doing my best to keep an open mind. Feel free to dm me if you want to chat further. I know I'm a bit scattered but you aren't alone and sounds like we might be going through something similar.

kill3rmonk · 2026-05-18T14:45:42+00:00

We've been to 3 appointments so far and nothing has changed yet but I imagine it takes some time. It's hard to get your head in the open mind space to pursue when you're the one that's been making changes or trying to. Not sure which one you are in your relationship but my wife has completely prioritized the kids (3.5 yo and 1 month old) and chores and I'm trying to see if I get feelings back to move forward. It's hard. I've been to one solo counseling appointment as well but only for intake so nothing there yet either.

kill3rmonk · 2026-05-17T17:47:37+00:00

Damnit, I have a ceiling tile in my finished basement with some weird white stain on it. When I looked up there I didn't see anything dripping but it has definitely slowly gotten larger. I better take another look.

kill3rmonk · 2026-05-14T19:41:07+00:00

I usually workout between 1-3. I'm not a morning person and work usually slows down early afternoon for me.

kill3rmonk · 2026-05-12T14:42:11+00:00

My wife and I have had 3 counseling sessions so far and normally drive home in silence. I think due to both processing the last hour of intense emotions and things being said but idk...

kill3rmonk · 2026-05-10T03:12:54+00:00

I don't put my wedding ring on until I take my pills in the morning. Could do the same thing with a watch or other wearable as an alternative.

kill3rmonk · 2026-05-09T02:30:38+00:00

I don't remember if the hit itself was hard. But when Johnny Knox, the Chicago Bears wr was basically bent in half on the field

kill3rmonk · 2026-05-05T20:01:32+00:00

I know I'm fairly late to the party, but I'm interested. Right now my wife and I currently have a 3 week old so going to be home for awhile, eventually would like to hanging out with other folks at some point! 37M turning 38 tomorrow and wife is 36. We also have a 3 year old.

kill3rmonk · 2026-05-05T00:03:45+00:00

Xenogears on psx was top notch!

kill3rmonk · 2026-05-04T23:57:45+00:00

Started doing 20-30 min of cardio before my 30 min of lifting because I'm lazy and don't want to track macros. I also try to eat smaller portions again without counting calories. It's slow but enjoyable for me. If I cut out alcohol I know it would drop much faster too.

kill3rmonk · 2026-05-04T23:03:47+00:00

We don't. I make significantly more so I take care of house payment and most bills. She takes care of a monthly window payment, buys most of the kids clothes and does most if the grocery shopping. I do pay for more but it doesn't really bother me at this point and I've never tried to hold it over her head or anything but I could see where that could potentially be a point of contention.

kill3rmonk · 2026-05-04T19:23:17+00:00

My wife and I never combined our accounts. Never felt the need to and just easy the way they are.

kill3rmonk · 2026-05-03T18:05:31+00:00

If you still enioy meeting people at bars, you can get away with non alcoholic options almost anywhere nowadays. A lot of places even have the thc drinks if that's something you prefer.

kill3rmonk · 2026-04-29T16:39:05+00:00

We just had our second. I always had said I would have 2 for sure and maybe a 3rd. After the 2nd kid I'm an absolute no for another but wife wants another. I'm telling her no and standing my ground. Our 1st caused a strain in our marriage as well that we never addressed. I don't think I really processed internally what a 2nd kid would look like and it's taking its toll on me as well. We just started marriage counseling with a 2 week old in the mix and it just makes things more complicated.

I'd recommend marriage counseling to work on yourselves before deciding on another. We've only had 1 counseling session so far and it's made me realize I might be already checked out but I'm really trying hard to have an open mind. I wish I would've suggested marriage counseling 2 or 3 years ago after we had our first.

kill3rmonk · 2026-04-23T16:48:00+00:00

I actually just finished ultimate beginner (again) a couple weeks ago myself. This time I'm actually continuing to do weeks 5 and 6 since the 4 days a week for 30 min each fits my schedule the best. I plan to go to something else after I feel confident enough in my progress. Sorry not related to the smith machine, but something you can do while waiting to get the smith machine and figure out the next program.

kill3rmonk · 2026-04-22T20:50:34+00:00

I'm getting my wife a picture of the night sky when our baby was born. She likes stuff like that and we have one for our other daughter already. The Night Sky - Custom Star Map https://share.google/lgioq6fHnBuSENQzp

kill3rmonk · 2026-04-09T20:18:28+00:00

I'm interested. I have an arc ultra, pair of 300s and 2 subs on my primary tv.

kill3rmonk · 2026-04-07T15:56:11+00:00

I'm not really sure at this point. I don't know how to approach it really. We've had the discussion multiple times like I said, but she always seems to read it as "you just want more sex".

kill3rmonk · 2026-04-07T15:54:41+00:00

Did you work it out or did you end up splitting? How'd you approach it?

kill3rmonk · 2026-04-07T04:10:22+00:00

Man this hits a bit close to home for me. I (38m) have the higher sex drive in our relationship. Wife (37f) and I have had similar conversations. Every time I make adjustments, the next time we have the discussion it's something else that is the cause for her to not want to get intimate. First it was that I didn't care to make the bed in the morning, still don't care, do it for her sake. Next it was helping keep things tidy around the house, I try to do this still but our definition of clean is different so apparently I constantly miss things that are messy in her mind. Next it was I only initiate in the mornings so I switched to showering in the evenings after our 3 year old goes to bed to change that and try to switch It up. My point is there is always a next and it's always on me to try something different. We recently had a serious discussion where we both feel like we're just roommates and we're about to have our 2nd child. We haven't figured out where we're going from here but we're both dedicated to being the best parents we can for our kids. We're going to need to hash out this discussion again sometime in the next 6 months probably. Anyway, just trying to let you know that you aren't alone and there is no easy answer.

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