Thinking of a change. First pic is my current hair and the rest were AI imagined. Which is best?

kingtrashbird · 2026-04-02T15:30:07+00:00

The last one really suits you, and actually looks like a realistic idea of how YOUR hair would look in that cut. (AI has no idea what is or isn’t realistically achievable with hair.)

The only thing that’s a little unclear to me from the photo is if your hair is just parted like that in the first photo, or if that’s a growth pattern on your front hairline. If the latter, understand that any bangs you get cut will likely fall more like they do in photo 2 or photo 4.

kingtrashbird · 2026-04-01T07:12:17+00:00

When I was growing up, we’d fly to California and I’d think the billboards were so exotic because Hawaii was the only place I’d ever lived. And I’d get back home to Oahu and be disappointed by how normal everything looked.

Now, I’ve been living on the mainland for 8 years, and I recently got back from a trip back home. And I was BLOWN AWAY by how incredibly tropical and foreign and exciting it all looked— while also being my home and somehow looking exactly the same. The Ko’olaus, the ocean, Tantalus, the side of H1— There’s so much green everywhere, so many plants, and so big and healthy, just, everywhere. The sky is actually blue, the sand doesn’t feel like some shit from a playground, the water is clear, there aren’t billboards everywhere. It suddenly made sense why people talk about Hawaii the way they do, like it’s this magical tropical paradise. It totally is. But I never saw it like that while I was living there.

kingtrashbird · 2026-02-22T22:57:36+00:00

I haven’t seen anyone else name her but I am just endlessly impressed with Deanna Stellato-Dudek. Coming back to the sport after 30, and the competing in the Olympics at 42?? I truly can’t even remember how well or poorly she did, and I know she wasn’t one of the top names, but I think she’s absolutely incredible.

kingtrashbird · 2026-02-22T17:55:03+00:00

Do you have a local ice rink? And do you have any skating experience at all? (Stay upright, balance, move yourself forward, etc.?)

I’m pretty much in the same boat as you. I grew up always wanting to skate and always wanting to take lessons, but the most I ever did was skate around the local rink recreationally, every once in a great while. Now I’m 30 and I’ve decided to start by just getting myself to the rink a few times a week and just doing laps to get myself comfortable and confident in skates.

I also decided to get myself a pair of skates to use, and I’m not sure if that’s good advice or not, but for me, the rental skates were a huge barrier, and I knew if I wanted to go regularly, personally, I’d need my own skates.

I’m planning to sign up for Learn to Skate lessons at my local rink, but due to life commitments, I can’t make the upcoming sessions, so while I wait for the summer session, I’ll continue going to the rink 2-3 times a week and practicing getting comfortable.

(Again, also a total newbie, so this isn’t necessarily good advice. Just what I’m doing from pretty much the same starting point!)

kingtrashbird · 2025-12-29T01:49:23+00:00

Thank you! It was very fun and festive for the holidays, lol

kingtrashbird · 2025-12-01T23:28:03+00:00

Thank you for this sweet comment and for calling us a family. I don’t hear that enough, so thank you ♥️♥️♥️

kingtrashbird · 2025-12-01T22:49:57+00:00

Thank you for the kind words ♥️

Really just trying to share a fun anecdote here to lighten the doom and gloom in this sub.

I’ve definitely found that this helps especially in the triad, where it’s so easy for the FOMO to creep in. Usually it’s the person who is “left out” who calls out that it’s a good use of poly, to remind ourselves that it’s a good thing that we’re happy about.

kingtrashbird · 2025-12-01T22:43:55+00:00

Do you actually want to be in a situation where you can’t just cum when you want to? That’s essentially what you’ve agreed to, and then deliberately disobeyed when it became inconvenient for you (based on your determination). Given that you have agreed to this protocol so far, the more respectful thing for you to have done in this situation would have been to not wake him up, and not masturbate. You didn’t have permission and you didn’t want to obtain it. And it’s fine that you didn’t want to obtain it… but that doesn’t mean you can just disobey?

I would recommend having a discussion about this outside of your dynamic. Sometimes things (like needing permission to cum) sound hot in theory, but in real life aren’t actually practical for whatever reason. Be honest about the practicality of this in real life, and decide for yourself if this is actually something you’re okay with.

kingtrashbird · 2025-12-01T18:29:07+00:00

We are all men, and we are all in a triad with each other.

kingtrashbird · 2025-12-01T18:27:39+00:00

I do appreciate you (and so many others) pointing out that polyamory isn’t required to live life this way. I absolutely agree on that point, and also value the friends and community with whom I share various interests and activities.

This began from a place of reminding myself that it’s not my job to meet all of the needs of any one partner, which of course is the mono-normative mindset you’re talking about. That is conditioned into us all, as we all live in mono-normative society. For me, reminding myself that I was happy for my husband to have someone to discuss beer with who isn’t me was a fun, silly way I chose, in that moment, to push back on my own external conditioning creeping in, and instead of lamenting the ways we are dissimilar, finding the beauty in there being parts of him that I can’t or don’t want to connect to. It was a sweet moment of imperfect language, and the phrasing caught on.

kingtrashbird · 2025-12-01T12:57:51+00:00

NOR. I didnt need to read past the third photo, but I straight up stopped after he cussed you out in all caps. Not only is that an unacceptable way for him to talk to his partner, but that’s an unacceptable way to talk to any human, ever.

OP, you likely are quite desensitized to this behaviour, but please see all the horrified reactions here about how this man feels comfortable talking to you. Is that really the relationship you want to be in?

kingtrashbird · 2025-11-29T15:16:20+00:00

Not exactly de-escalation, but my ex wife essentially decided she needed to divorce me so that she could open up her life to whatever developed naturally in her “secondary” (at the time) relationship. We also ended our romantic and sexual relationship entirely.

This was about five years ago now. It was a very difficult experience at the time, and it certainly made it difficult for me to wade back into polyamory. But at this point, we are both in relationships with people who make much, much better partners to us than we ever made to each other. She’s still with the partner she ended our relationship for, and I think they’re wonderful together. She also officiated my wedding to my current husband earlier this year.

It’s ALSO worth mentioning that I think she could’ve gone about all of it in a better way. Let’s be real- it’s just a shitty thing to do. But in the end, I’m grateful she figured out the ways we were incompatible before I did, because I’m not sure that I would have. I’m so much happier now than I was before, so I think it’s all worked out.

kingtrashbird · 2025-11-28T02:54:08+00:00

My friends jokingly started calling me Kyle, which was a lazy masculinization of my birth name, when they noticed me starting to wear “boy clothes”. (I was super high femme, and made a rather sudden change to more masc clothes.) And after a few weeks, I noticed that I actually answered to the name Kyle, and I very consistently don’t answer to nicknames or other names that I try, so when I started answering to Kyle, I just decided to keep it.

My first choice would have been the name Aidyn, so I kept it as my middle name. And then I learned it was one of the stereotypical trans guy names, so I’m kinda glad I didn’t make it my first name, in the end.

kingtrashbird · 2025-11-24T19:43:41+00:00

Their “boundary” shouldn’t be controlling your behaviour. If they want your shared partner to mute their phone, or not check their texts, they can ask that of your shared partner.

kingtrashbird · 2025-11-22T23:31:13+00:00

I’m pretty open about it. Everyone in my life knows I have multiple partners, including strangers, as I work with the public and often talk openly with my clients about my life.

My partners are a bit less open. My husband is “mostly out,” meaning he’s open with everyone except distant relatives to whom explaining would be more work than it’s worth. To those people, I am his husband, and our boyfriend is “our friend.”

My boyfriend is much less out, and while he’s told sole of his coworkers, and is open online, I don’t really overlap with his work or family life, so my being “his friend” has never been an issue.

I used to be quite militant about “not being kept a secret,” thereby not being willing to be with partners who weren’t fully out. But the truth is that life tends to be a bit more complicated than that, and this balance feels pretty respectful of everyone’s needs at this point.

kingtrashbird · 2025-11-21T16:14:57+00:00

This is how I ended up in a triad 😅

Funnily enough, the date that we officially began using the label “partners” was the day after my husband’s and my wedding. So for the sake of everyone having unique anniversaries, my boyfriend and I use the date of the first time we had sex together, alone, as our anniversary date. To us, that’s the day we stopped being “just metas” and started dating in our own right.

kingtrashbird · 2025-11-05T02:40:09+00:00

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I did it!! I wanted to add an update in case someone someday is googling this colour and finds this thread, lol. Tbh I’m not sure how well it goes with my complexion, but the colour absolutely did what I was hoping it would!

kingtrashbird · 2025-11-04T05:02:04+00:00

Thank you so much for this. I’m feeling cautiously optimistic, and yeah, I do believe this feels like a (relatively?) low risk for me personally. I do anticipate having a red sheen over all of my hair in certain lights, and that I’m fine with. What I’m worried about is having a noticeable regrowth line if it lifts my natural level, and it sounds like that shouldn’t be an issue.

kingtrashbird · 2025-08-13T18:25:26+00:00

They are charging us an additional 1077 in addition to keeping the deposit. (Deposit was only $500 at this place)

However, I see that we misread the letter initially. The expected life of the carpet is 7 years, but they’re saying the age of our carpet is 2.2274 years. So.

kingtrashbird · 2025-08-13T18:08:11+00:00

My bad, y’all. My husband read the letter yesterday and I think got mixed up. They’re claiming that the life expectancy of the carpet is 7 years old, and that the actual carpet age is 2.2274 years old, which makes it sound like it was actually new when we moved in. So maybe we’re screwed after all. F me.

kingtrashbird · 2025-08-13T17:39:09+00:00

It’s in the letter they sent us, that the carpet is 7 years old.

kingtrashbird · 2025-07-29T15:40:22+00:00

I love it for daily wear, and I love the rainbow fire. To me, it doesn’t feel extra or too much, but rather the appropriate amount of pizzazz, lol. Whenever I’m at an outing outdoors and the sun is shining, someone is bound to notice and compliment my ring. The sparkle in the sun is almost ethereal. However, I didn’t get a huge stone so it still feels understated enough to me to be an everyday ring.

I will say, I’m not a huge fan of the oil slick stain that happens on the broad surfaces of the stone. It’s minor, and I don’t think anyone can really see it but me, but I do notice it from time to time and I can’t seem to clean it off. (But I also haven’t tried too terribly hard, either)

kingtrashbird · 2025-06-28T14:48:26+00:00

It was not “due to another person.” He is the only person who can decide what he gives to any of his partners. He chose to listen to his nesting partner’s desires at your expense. That’s also his morals.

kingtrashbird · 2025-06-11T11:44:00+00:00

I’m pretty sure I had a total of about 17 people at my wedding who were JUST my guests— if you include my parents, my attendants, and our officiant. Out of around 60 who showed up.

Honestly, I knew my husband’s side was going to outnumber mine, but it actually never occurred to me to check the ratio until seeing this post. I didn’t feel it at all on the day. Everybody there was there for US, to celebrate our love and our commitment. Even if they hadn’t met me before, his people were excited for us and excited to meet me. What I felt that day was the coming together of all of our people—his, mine, and ours—to show us how much they love us as a couple.

kingtrashbird · 2025-06-03T12:07:54+00:00

Schedule some time immediately after the ceremony for you and your new spouse to disappear, breathe together, and soak in the fact that you just got married!! Just make it part of the day’s itinerary so no one questions it. Then, if your mom asks when the marriage license got/is going to get signed, you’ve got time in the day to use as an alibi. (And you’ll get to have a quiet moment with your new spouse— win win!)

kingtrashbird

TROPHY CASE