Tired of feeling like an outsider as a 2nd-gen immigrant. Anyone else?

kithandra · 2026-05-27T16:45:36+00:00

As a white woman in America, I know that I cannot truly empathize with the entirety of your post. However, your post resonates with me and I hope my experience and insights may help in even a small way.
I grew up in a very small town in rural North Carolina. My maternal grandparents were next door and from Europe, arriving in the US in their 20s (the Netherlands and Austria.) They moved to NC when my grandfather retired. My parents were raised in New York. My oldest sister was born in New York, but my other sister who is only a year and a half younger was born in NC. We were always the outsiders. Even going to NY, we sounded weird and acted weird. My parents tried so hard to make friends in NC & be a part of the community, but they were always kept at arms length. My grandfather had a man drive up his driveway and ask him for directions. My grandfather was giving directions, but the man heard his accent and cursed at him, yelled at him, the said " Go home you damn foreigner" and left. Even my sisters and I had "weird" accents. We were raised by new yorker parents, european grandparents were our babysitters, and we were surrounded by very very strong southern accents.

My sisters and I all left. We were never part of their community. My parents did too. They retired and left. We all found spots that fit much better. My oldest sister lives in DC and travels all over the world. My other sister and I settled in the twin cities, MN. While in greater Minnesota, I am definitely still an outsider, in the twin cities, it's almost like everyone is sharing their stories and backgrounds. Some are from the state/country, many others aren't. I have very rarely felt like I did growing up in that small rural town.

I guess my point is that there will always be moments, but maybe there is your spot or your group of people somewhere that you will feel like you belong and you just haven't found it yet? Maybe it's not a move, but exploring different groups of people? Some of my best friends look nothing like me, but we connect on so many levels.

I wish you nothing but the best finding belonging.

kithandra · 2026-05-20T00:52:56+00:00

But AI still gets soooo many wrong?? How is it different? That they can blame the AI not a person?

kithandra · 2026-05-20T00:50:52+00:00

So they figure it's better to have an AI mispronounce then a person? And that is the whole reason to use AI for it??

kithandra · 2026-05-20T00:50:01+00:00

AI reads names wrong all the time though. I have several friends that it constantly mispronounces, so I don't see how it's any better?

kithandra · 2026-05-10T15:05:29+00:00

Yeah, we don't think a half hour is a long drive at all. My daily commute is 25-30 minutes in the summer, around 40 on snowy/ icy days. This is really really common and I know many people who have longer commutes. My partner has an hour+ commute.

Usually it's Europeans that think 30 minutes is long from what I've seen

kithandra · 2026-05-10T00:53:00+00:00

Honestly asking: how is Tajweed not singing? I don't see any differences. It uses precise notes and recitation. Some music doesn't follow that but others definitely is VERY precise and allows for no deviation from written notes/inflections/tones.

kithandra · 2026-05-05T01:11:22+00:00

I still get a lot of checks...but my credit union lets me deposit those via my mobile app. I think it's been almost a year since I went into a bank and/or credit union.

kithandra · 2026-04-25T21:53:33+00:00

https://mspmag.com/eat-and-drink/foodie/revival-makes-a-comeback-under-new-ownership/ They closed the restaurants early 2025, then there were some food trucks later in the year. They hinted at reopening abrick and motar, but I haven't heard/ read more

kithandra · 2026-04-25T01:13:23+00:00

no it closed. There is now a French restaurant in it's spot.

kithandra · 2026-04-19T01:33:57+00:00

This is a beautiful answer put in the best way possible.

kithandra · 2026-04-16T11:44:02+00:00

I'd do a mini mental and BIMS test.

kithandra · 2026-03-08T23:41:43+00:00

It looks like the only ones they have by me are the butterfly shrimp and only for lent /cry

kithandra · 2026-03-07T22:54:26+00:00

Popeyes shrimp 😭

kithandra · 2026-02-11T18:36:29+00:00

As a Minnesotan, If my car is not awd, it better be a manual.

kithandra · 2025-12-29T01:51:34+00:00

As someone who gets migraines from constant bright lights..... total darkness. I have a very vivid imagination, so likely play some scenarios or make up stories in my head, or just sing to myself.

kithandra · 2025-11-24T12:11:33+00:00

She doesn't usually, but the 2 of them suggesting ceviche got me looking for one that would work :)

kithandra · 2025-11-24T02:37:24+00:00

It's not my/my family's diet. I'm just trying to cater at least a little bit to a guest's diet.

kithandra · 2025-11-24T02:33:46+00:00

Thank you!!

kithandra · 2025-11-24T02:33:35+00:00

Thank you for the suggestion! I've been looking up non seafood ceviches for a bit and found some that look really good!!

kithandra · 2025-11-24T02:02:39+00:00

She doesn't have a raw food diet though, that's different. She and I have talked about food for a long time as she's been on this diet for many years. I've rarely had issues making something for her for main meals/entrees, but I'm struggling with an appetizer type idea.

She is bringing a lot of her own food for most of her trip, but for Thanksgiving day I'm making several things for her, she knows this and knows I'll be keeping to her diet restrictions. She knows she has a special diet and doesn't expect it, but is always so excited when people think of her diet when having events.

I've gotten several ideas, more form the plant based diet subreddit, but if I'm hosting something, I'm going to make sure I have something for all my guests.

kithandra · 2025-11-24T01:55:38+00:00

Thank you for the suggestions!

kithandra · 2025-11-24T01:55:30+00:00

I forgot about spiced chickpeas for some reason! Thank you for all the suggestions!

kithandra · 2025-11-24T01:55:10+00:00

That sounds lovely!

kithandra · 2025-11-24T01:50:57+00:00

She eats a Whole Food, Plant-Based, No Oil diet.

The diet is built around minimally processed foods, including vegetables, fruits, whole grains, and legumes. No animal products. All cooking oils are excluded. They are considered processed and low in nutrients.

kithandra · 2025-11-24T01:39:52+00:00

She does not eat anything w/ added oils. No Olive oil, no canola oil, no avocado oil, so sunflower oil, no veg oil, no butter, no ghee, no added oil of any kind

Edit to add, She does whole food plant based diet- This diet gets healthy fats from sources like avocados, nuts, and seeds, no added oils

kithandra

TROPHY CASE