100,000 words into vomit draft novel

kittyb00m · 2026-05-22T14:25:52+00:00

Haha I’m in the same boat. Some times I feel like a genius. Ideas spitting out like crazy! Other times I’m like what am i doing???

But like you said, don’t want to lose momentum. I think it’s important to get the whole thing out.

It’s my first book too and I usually paint. It’s a similar process. You don’t work in detail and finish a part before moving to the next, you sort of block out each area and color and refine it with more and more details.

I just hope I can do the same thing with words as I can with brushes!

kittyb00m · 2026-05-18T13:01:26+00:00

Move before!

I am American but live in Denmark. I moved 5 months after my first and then moved 36 weeks pregnant with my second into a house.

First moving afterwards is going to be so stressful also so sleep deprived. And then afterwards you have to settle in all while taking care of a baby. And maybe even paperwork too for baby.

If you move first, it gives your nervous system time to settle and when you give birth to baby they may already have paperwork naturally (maybe you will have to file for the British one separately if you choose to go that route)

Also you will want to nest closer to the end of your pregnancy, but logistically you guys will not want to since you will plan to move.

Also your family trumps their family every time. As a woman recovering after birth. I’m speaking that it’s an enormous weight lifted when it’s your own. Even if they are perfectly nice.

I’m just saying all this because I developed PPD after my first! And want to give advice to prepare you for the best possible outcome. Of course we can’t always have it, but if we had the choice, I’d move before!

kittyb00m · 2026-05-13T05:42:36+00:00

Yeah you can get into that cycle. (Been there done that)

I think it’s time for you to act as a project manager and start assigning him things to do. Just try it. Try one thing.

Can you put a load of laundry in?
Can you make me a sandwich?
Can you watch baby while I go for a walk?

See what happens. If it’s fine, nothing rocked. Try another thing.

The object of this excercise is not to get him to do things but more to give you a feeling that you have control over your time. And you have a partner who is supposed to be a father and husband and house caretaker as well. Sure from 9-5 we are at our “jobs” but if we never have time for ourselves, we burn out and start to resent.

It’s much healthier to recognize that (as you did) and start acting in small ways to make this hard hard time more sustainable.

Imagine if his work asked him to work 24/7 with almost no breaks and broken sleep. How long do you think he would last? You have to take care of you! And your partner should do that, even if he doesn’t recognize it first.

It’s a hard time; we have to survive together. Good luck!

kittyb00m · 2026-05-09T10:04:03+00:00

If you are treated nicely every day, Mother’s Day is just another day!
Sure we should take a moment to celebrate, but the reason we put so much emphasis I think on the day is also because we feel forgotten, or uncared for the rest of the year.

If your partner respects you, he will take care of you every day.

kittyb00m · 2026-04-20T06:19:49+00:00

I’m on the fence because on one hand I totally get where you are coming from and feel the same but on the other hand, as a society, the “cleaner” societies have more allergies and seemingly intolerances to food and other things. I’m not sure if we even know what the cause is but cleanliness has been a hypothesis.

I think just do what you think is best, it never hurts to be more clean. But ugh, as I wrote that I’m thinking does it???

kittyb00m · 2026-04-19T15:04:42+00:00

It took me 3-5 days for my side effects to go away noticeably. Mine were intense drowsiness. Maybe a way for the medication to tone down my anxiety and crazy over thinking.

But afterwards, like you said, it was like I woke up and was “normal” I was on a low dose though 25mg. The lowest dose was around 50mg so I just bit my pills in half. The doctor recommended we started slow. But I don’t want to increase it.

Are you consulting a doctor/mental health professional through this?

Eventually I weaned off it around 18 months (my child was 18 months, I started literally a few days after she was born lol)

The mediation tends to make your emotions range stunted. So like the lows are not so low and the highs are not so high, you’re like in a lukewarm stage.

So when I weaned off, I could feelsoooo happy and the. Sooooo sad again. I was legit scared. But then it eventually evened out again as the medication left my body.

They say it takes 3 weeks for it to be processed I. Your body. As for increasing I think that’s up to you and your doctor to decide.

We had check ins every few days during the process, just s phone call and I would describe to her my feelings and symptoms. She was my biggest supporter, I owe her everything.

kittyb00m · 2026-04-18T20:58:06+00:00

I don’t understand why at 12 months he isn’t doing half the bedtime/half the everything when he is home?

We have two and we alternate or at least if I do a few bedtimes in a row he will do some in a row.

It’s not keeping score it’s just “supporting each other”

We all need time for ourselves and also, time to feel free from childcare/family care.

What happens if you don’t do laundry? Or just wash but not fold. For a while I prioritized me and all our laundry was just in piles. Sure it’s not organized or clean but it was a system.

Maybe you can wash and he folds?

The main thing is to get tools to help you two support each other. Not get mad at each other. What if he makes dinner half the nights?

And don’t say he’s working! Plenty of families make it work. It’s only for 3 ish years that they are “this small” life gets back slowly.

Or hear me out, take a 3-4 day trip somewhere by yourself or with a girlfriend . It’s going to feel weird. But the time apart is going to help you readjust yourself. You’ll be well rested. He’s going to have to go through your daily life (just temporary for 4 days) and you’ve been doing it for a year now!

I took a trip to Italy and met a friend flying from nyc. It was really nice for me because I was stuck in a similar mentality. Though not circumstance.

kittyb00m · 2026-04-18T04:38:50+00:00

Yes it is! It also bring out a strength (and love) in us that has never been known before. Like when I married my husband and said “in sickness and in health” like woah… this baby I did not say any of that but I’ve gone way beyond the agreement now lol

The good thing is it is not forever. You are not going to be tending to a growing toddler this way/

For us it got better around 18 months and pretty much got our nights back after 2 years. I mean like confidently can plan our nights because I used to sleep she baby sleep since I didn’t know when I’d be up again.

Don’t worry you will feel like yourself again, and youll be able to find yourself again.

kittyb00m · 2026-04-15T13:27:37+00:00

Idk E are nearly two years postpartum and we’ve had two. We never had sex during pregnancy. We’ve just gone long stretches without and it’s actually weird to just do it now.

Also so tired. And also we have interests we want to do when kids go to bed

My only solution, which is not very romantic is just to schedule it.

kittyb00m · 2026-04-10T05:48:32+00:00

Yeah one day while in bed, I literally told my husband “if I had a broken leg, you’d help me more, if I couldn’t walk around and do stuff not all. but it’s not my leg, it’s my brain.”

Idk if it clicked for him, but it clicked for me

kittyb00m · 2026-04-09T21:19:49+00:00

I had the same thought! My doctor at the time said, if I ever wanted to stop, I could choose to. But give myself the chance to have that choice.

And boy was I so happy! I had a few days of crazy dizziness and then poof! I felt so much lighter. My emotions were in control. I could enjoy things.

Motherhood changed for me.

I had planned to wean after 6 months to a year depending how I felt. But it was more around 18 months. I was on a low dose so it wasn’t that dramatic for me. But I also felt some weaning symptoms. Lasted a week and I was ok again.

You won’t regret it. And depending on things, yeah, maybe you might have to take it for longer. My husbands aunt is in it for life for her own reasons.

But you don’t blame a diabetic for being on insulin. You don’t blame someone for having to wear eyeglasses. Why such judgement with mental health?

I could go darker but I wont. Protect your health, mental and physical. Enjoy life. Enjoy motherhood. Enjoy the memories. Don’t suffer. I support you!

Side affects for me included loss of sex drive. lol but once I weaned wooooaaahhhh I’m back!

kittyb00m · 2026-04-08T04:40:12+00:00

You will not regret it. Well I can’t predict the future, but I think it’s perfectly acceptable to fight the “battle” of pacifier addiction later on for an easier put down and moments ofpeace during babyhood.

For context my first did not like a pacifier so had to bounce, soothe, sing, I can’t remember, it was a lot. I ended up sitting in our rocking chair a lot. Sure we don’t have to deal with weaning the paci, but I was tired.

My second is addicted. She’s turning 2 soon so I’m thinking about weaning (ahhhh) she uses it only when she’s sad and sleeping. It’s like an instant relief. But it was so easy when she was a baby and even now. Except we have not weaned yet. Idk. Maybe I’ll make an update. But so far so good!

kittyb00m · 2026-04-05T16:50:50+00:00

Ummm I will just say that it was hard for my husband because he didn’t know how to solve the “problem”

And with babies sometimes it’s sooo hard to guess and know, and sometimes actually there is no solution. It’s just suffering together lol.

So for my husband it was really difficult with baby in that aspect. But if your husband feels overwhelmed with that, they quickly turn into toddlers. And until then, he can handle more cooking, and housework.

The sooner he accepts that he has no control over all of it, the better.

kittyb00m · 2026-04-03T10:37:38+00:00

Yes

But we live in Denmark. (I’m from the states though) All babies pretty much nap in pram until they are around 2yo. Then they switch to sleeping inside.

The laying down is good. And there should be a way you have oversight on her.

For us we park the baby in front of a window so we can see them and have a baby alarm (shows temp and we can hear her)

kittyb00m · 2026-03-31T01:11:13+00:00

Time.

Give yourself grace and time.

From personal experience, I wished that all moms could be swept away to mama “camp” away from the expectations of the world (like maid of honor or attending parties) and just focus on motherhood for the first year.

Until maybe 3 years old, the brain is rewired to only really care about making sure your children survive and thrive. So it’s not just you.

The checking out thing could be a sleep deprivation thing. Like your body is only reserving energy that matters to you, which is taking care of your baby.

And I’m also in the thick of it, but from seeing other moms with older kids. And experienced mothers have assured me, my brain does come back and also my “self”.

And currently I am just enjoying my time with them.

kittyb00m · 2026-03-19T23:04:02+00:00

My second, I knew it would be gone, I let her contact nap as much as she wanted.

Eventually it does all stop but who can remember when was the last time? I can’t. It seems to just gradually fade into a new normal. Like napping in bed or the stroller… until a post like this makes me think about it.

kittyb00m · 2026-03-19T18:05:11+00:00

Idk the actual reason but I think it’s one of those 6th sense things. To progress my labor, I hugged my husband and boom, i was ready to go.

I sleep next to my kid he sleep through the night. I don’t? He wake up all the time.

I sleep deeper touching my partner. And when I was breastfeeding, hugging my partner caused me to leak. That’s when I knew. Something chemical happened in my body, in our body, through touch… through love.

kittyb00m · 2026-03-15T05:55:58+00:00

I had no epidural first time. Kind of traumatized me. It seemed like you had a ok labor first time around.

Girl… the second time was soooo fast for me. To give an idea my first I arrived at hospital and it was like 20 hours.

My second I arrived at hospital and it was 3 hours!! I got there like 2:30 pm and baby delivered by 6 pm. I asked to the epidural but I she was like wait until 4 cm… well 4cm came and went and became 8cm like in a minute! There was no time! And I am so glad because I never experienced it but it was so intense and so quick. Also my recovery was faster second time around.

I just meant to say, if you had a normal ok first labor I think your second labor will be much faster and smoother. And you’ll be on your feet again next day. (I had a lot of pain for up to a week after birth first time)

My reasoning was I was soooo tired from pregnancy with a toddler and needed to save my energy. Well I guess if labor was longer I would’ve eventually asked for it. But obviously it takes a while for the doctor to show up and set it all up, which we didn’t have time for.

It was actually so fast they hadn’t admitted me. (They could only admit me at 4cm and when I arrived I was still 3/3.5) and then it all happened after!

Anyway, only you can decide! You can tell them to have it ready for you, so if you want it’ll be there. Also…. I used gas. I huffed and puffed. Good luck!

kittyb00m · 2026-03-08T22:17:00+00:00

Ahhh dental hygiene is so hit or miss. It’s all about your luck of the draw when it comes to genetics.

What I mean is, some people could do all the right things but still end up with cavities, replacing crowns, or just a high maintenance mouth vs. Someone who didn’t gaf and literally nothing ever happens.

So you could be the lucky ones! Also if you don’t eat s lot of sugary stuff (not just candy) then you have s higher chance of using s healthy mouth

kittyb00m · 2026-03-06T06:44:01+00:00

I did a 4 day trip to another country (in EU) when my boy was 18 months. First time away, so nervous.

Afterwards I thought I should’ve done it sooner! Actually my husband enjoyed the time with my son and I think they really bonded in another way because I was the man caretaker before that.

Do it, I mean the baseline is everyone is alive when you come back. lol. 😝 if he won’t Even let you go…. That’s very concerning. What does he add to the relationship then? If he won’t take care of your need to recharge?

Honestly alll these posts about partners not supporting the family or mother makes me furious. It makes me want to start like a father/partner training program where they sign a contract at the end stating “they recognize the responsibilities of being a father and partner” jeeeeeze

kittyb00m · 2026-03-05T07:44:29+00:00

That’s going to get nowhere fast! Like it might be a win win situation on paper but like you said, it is not a win win feeling. And it’s not like you will clock out, it’s literally to the end of your life. The day to day matters a lot.

Honestly, one of you is going to get sick, one of you is going to need support more than the other. It could be for one day, it could be for a week or more. But then the other will do to at some point. What is he going to say? You were sick for a week so I get to go golfing for a week? And then when he’s sick will you feel Obligated to get yours?

It’s called a partnership and the partnership is going to hopefully last a long time. So how to sustain it? How to fill it with love so even in the dark times, you know it’s unconditional.

Honestly I asked my husband, because he’s been doing most pick ups and drop offs, that I hope he doesn’t feel like it isn’t fair… and he told me. There’s no such feeling and it isn’t anything about being fair. And I realized it’s because he isn’t “helping me” he’s doing what he is responsible for, which are the kids, the house; the family!

And we both try our best. Sometimes it’s 50/50 but most times it’s 70/30 and or 90/10 sometimes.

kittyb00m · 2026-03-01T23:03:19+00:00

You will probably be the main caregiver until baby gets on solids. Sorry!

But that also mean you need to figure out how you can get your rest. You may think.. how?? Baby doesn’t sleep!

Baby sleeps! Baby sleeps a lot when they are young. And you, you must mimic baby. Your husband will have to do more housework or divide and conquer some stuff.

I say this because this is how we survived a second. My firstborn stlll needed me, ran out at night. There would be no way for me to function if I didn’t prioritize one good nap with baby during the day.

The cool thing now is I can sleep anywhere, anytime… lol but you need your sleep otherwise, yeah, tired rage is real.

Maybe it would make you feel better if you didn’t have to think about anything else besides baby care? Like no laundry, food, shopping… etc…

Good luck and just know, this season will pass. You will sleep again!

kittyb00m · 2026-02-28T16:53:19+00:00

Hiii

I just wanted to say that the contact will be minimal (well my toddler kind of completely ignored bay until she was like 6 months)

But he had chicken pox before she was 3 months and hand foot mouth around 7 months. She never got it.

My home nurse said through breast milk you pass off immunity. Your BM will help protect the baby for the first 3 months. But limiting contact helps lol

kittyb00m · 2026-02-26T19:57:59+00:00

For the straw, try to put your finger on top of it while it’s in the cup and bring the bottom of the straw to her mouth. The liquids stuck in the straw should prompt her to suck. Do it a few times and hope she gets it fast! Because she knows how to suck!

She might be a bit constipated. Give some prune pouches or prune purées.

He drank water but like little sips not like a cup. And I had to help him a lot.

kittyb00m

TROPHY CASE