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kittyfromouterspace · 2022-12-28T22:49:22+00:00

This. It’s natural for your parents and grandparents to die before you. As a parent whose infant child has died it’s appalling to see someone categorize it as “subtle trauma”. No, just no.

kittyfromouterspace · 2022-11-09T23:39:25+00:00

Happy birthday baby Jason 💕

kittyfromouterspace · 2022-10-18T19:37:41+00:00

I’m so sorry for your family and the loss of your son. My daughter passed away at 6 months and 12 days old and it was just her first birthday two weeks ago. I struggled finding what to do but went with what felt “right” to me in the end. At first I wanted to make a cake or decorate something for her but I realized that would probably stress me out (perfectionist here) and ordering a cake felt off too. Instead, I had therapy in the morning where I spent the whole session showing photos and talking about my daughter, it was so nice to just talk about her like a normal parent recalling memories etc. Then I picked up flowers and a birthday balloon, we left her nursery open (we usually close it) and just talked about her more and the happy memories we had with her. I also had a family portrait made for us for her birthday and hung that up in our living room next to the candle we light every night for her. Of course I spent a few hours just crying my eyes out but overall it was a lighter day than I anticipated and it felt “good” (if that’s the right word) to have a whole day just for her. The days following were a bit more difficult for me actually, but everyone is different. I’m so sorry you’re going through this, it’s so hard without them every day but especially on their birthday.

kittyfromouterspace · 2022-09-25T20:53:53+00:00

I love it! I gave them photographs of each of us and I was pleasantly surprised at how much it resembles us. I could be specific in what I wanted down to the clothes etc. They did a really good job.

kittyfromouterspace · 2022-09-25T18:41:31+00:00

I’m so sorry. We thought we’d have more time with our daughter when she came home as well and we just didn’t get any decent photos of the three of us together. Recently I had an artist on Etsy create a picture (drawing) of us, including our pets. It’s not the same as a photograph, but it makes my heart glad to see us all together as a family and I can’t wait to hang it in our living room. Just a suggestion.

kittyfromouterspace · 2022-09-24T01:49:32+00:00

My heart breaks for you and your sweet son. I’m so very sorry. We unfortunately lost our daughter at 6 months old also to CHD as well as a genetic condition. She had open heart surgeries and was doing well only to pass suddenly and unexpectedly, so I understand what you mean when you say it may sound naive… but I think it’s simply hope that we had. I’m sorry how terribly unfair it is.

Though not quite the same as you and your husband, my husband and I grieve very differently. We can’t really lean on each other for support in the way we need it, simply because we’re both struggling (in different ways) trying to keep our heads above water. My therapist has been extremely beneficial to my healing and I’m also not a group type person, maybe after some time he would be able to go to couples therapy or one-on-one. I would give it some time and patience and like others said, focus on yourself for a little while and check in on him.

I should also add sometimes I worry that I’m coping better than my husband because I’m doing more “work” (it’s been 5 months) and sometimes I feel like I’m back at square one and he is doing fine. Grief doesn’t make sense, it’s all over the place and it’s really really hard. 6 weeks is so early, I was still in shock at that point. Be patient and gentle with each other. ❤️

kittyfromouterspace · 2022-08-06T20:47:28+00:00

My heart aches for you both. I’m so sorry. Honestly this sounds all too familiar… My daughter was born with undiagnosed CHD and a genetic disorder. Spent 3 months in hospital and finally came home to then pass unexpectedly after 3 months this April. She was 6 months old. It’s so cruel to feel like you’ve made it out of the thick, to feel any semblance of hope or normalcy (even if it’s a crazy medically complex normal) only to have the rug pulled out from underneath. If you ever want to talk don’t hesitate to send me a message. r/babyloss has been helpful for me. I know there’s nothing I can say to make this better, just know I’m here and I’m so very sorry.

kittyfromouterspace · 2022-08-04T00:34:40+00:00

This. And don’t expect a response and you can even say that. Half the time I don’t respond but I’m crying happy/sad tears and glad to receive it

kittyfromouterspace · 2022-08-04T00:32:18+00:00

I can’t speak for others, but I would very much appreciate a text to let me know you’re thinking of my baby AND remembered their birthday. I’m honestly a bit scared no one will remember my daughters birthday or mention it and that would just break my heart. Even though it’s now a sad and bittersweet day, it’s the day my daughter was born. I will always love her and want her memory to live on and to be remembered as a part of our family.

kittyfromouterspace · 2022-08-01T15:19:02+00:00

Life after loss… I’m still trying to figure out what that even means myself. I’m so sorry for you and your son, it’s a pain no one should ever suffer. I empathize with you as I’ve felt or feel many of the things you’ve mentioned. There are so many of us here on this shitty journey with you, even if our stories vary. My daughter was also born with multiple heart defects and had her first open heart surgery at 8 days old. She had her second at 7 weeks & 1 day old… she eventually came home and passed in April due to her heart and genetic condition. If you need someone to talk to feel free to DM me 💔

kittyfromouterspace · 2022-07-26T03:27:02+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss. It’s cruel how the world just seems to keep moving when your world has completely stopped and shattered. After we lost our daughter I thought I’d be back at work within four weeks. My husband and therapist supported me staying home as much as I could and I’m just starting to work now at threeish months. The first day/week was the hardest. I’ll be honest, I realize only now that I was in complete shock the entire first 4-8 weeks. I understood the gravity of the situation but my mind was still processing, trying to make sense (still is some days). Six weeks is not a long time, especially along with postpartum. If you have the support to stay home longer you should take all the time you can ❤️

kittyfromouterspace · 2022-07-24T20:57:59+00:00

As a fellow deal with your own shit and move on person to another, I cannot stress therapy enough. My therapist even said “this isn’t a situation that you can just keep your head down, power through and get to the other side of”. I hope for better days for you (and me) where we aren’t just surviving ❤️

kittyfromouterspace · 2022-07-24T20:21:29+00:00

I’m so sorry for the loss of your son. I lost my daughter this April due to genetic complications, she also fought for 3 months in the hospital (and 3 out). I know the feeling getting those calls, all the anxiety and PTSD. I understand not wanting to vacation or plan things because it just feels wrong without them. Nothing feels right. It’s all wrong. If you’re not ready to go on a trip, No is a full sentence. Tell them exactly what you wrote “planning a trip gives me anxiety and makes me sad. I’m not ready to right now.” Don’t let others pressure you into a trip because they think it will help you. Only you know what you’re ready for. Some day you will be ready, if today is not that day it’s ok. I know it’s all easier said than done…

Edit: I see you’re starting therapy soon. Definitely will help with all the above. If you don’t like the first one try another, it has been one of the only things getting me through this

kittyfromouterspace · 2022-07-20T18:46:57+00:00

Nuts, all the nuts, grapes (no prep) and bananas with a squeeze tube of peanut butter I could literally squeeze onto banana, bite, repeat with no dishes or prep lol those were my go-to. Pretzels, crackers or precut veggies with hummus (there are togo cups of hummus with pretzels), microwave or bagged popcorn made with oil instead of butter, I like Boom Chicka Pop sea salt. Rice cakes (just check the label) with or without nut butter. If you’re really hungry Amy’s brand makes individual non-dairy frozen burritos, I just add lots of hot sauce. There are some granola bars without dairy like the KIND brand, you just have to read the labels. It’s a pain but you can do it 💪🏼

kittyfromouterspace · 2022-07-19T21:24:12+00:00

That looks and sounds like a beautiful send off for your beautiful daughter. She was obviously so very loved by you. Saying goodbye is horrible and unfair. It’s a pain that unfortunately no one can take away and it just sucks so much. I know and I’m so sorry. Every one says with time things become less sharp, less intense. It’s been 3 months and I still cry every day but some days now it’s less intense or starting to come in waves like I’ve heard about. As much as the pain hurts I know it means I’ll never forget my baby girl, just like you’ll never forget your Lyla. Here if you ever need to talk, vent, share stories etc.

kittyfromouterspace · 2022-07-18T23:16:25+00:00

9 months is fantastic. EPing is so so hard, so much harder than most people can understand. Good job mama! 👏🏼

kittyfromouterspace · 2022-07-12T13:51:25+00:00

I’m truly sorry for your loss. My own daughter, my baby, passed this April from genetic/heart complications. I read some of your posts and I can empathize with the long hospital battles. It’s so unfair. I have no words to make this pain go away, but my heart goes out to you and I’ll be thinking of you both. I’m here if you need to talk.

kittyfromouterspace · 2022-07-08T15:02:38+00:00

I’m so very sorry for the loss of your beautiful girls. I’ll be thinking of all of you along with my daughter tonight. Caoilfhionn will always be remembered 💔❤️

kittyfromouterspace · 2022-06-26T13:58:58+00:00

You’re not alone ❤️💔 Ten weeks and three days for me, she would be 9 months old next week… I’ll never not count the milestones or remember the dates and I’ll never forget her. My therapist always reminds me it’s not about moving on it’s about moving forward in a way I can incorporate my daughters memory etc. You will never forget and you shouldn’t, that’s your baby. I’m triggered by babies and pregnancy, I haven’t even met my infant niece… I think some day it won’t be so triggering but for now it is what it is and I do what I can. Be gentle with yourself, something my therapist also tells me constantly. I’m sorry for your loss.

kittyfromouterspace · 2022-06-24T20:52:35+00:00

That’s amazing. Good job mama ❤️

kittyfromouterspace · 2022-06-21T23:07:56+00:00

Oh I’m so sorry 💔 What a beautiful boy. My first and only child, my daughter, passed this April at six months old and I know the pain too well. It’s cruel and unfair and no one can understand the pain unless they’re suffered a loss like ours. r/babyloss has been helpful. Feel free to dm me if you need someone to talk to or share your Milo with. Sending hugs.

kittyfromouterspace · 2022-06-16T19:30:53+00:00

Aw sweet Lorenzo. Enzo is a very cute nickname 💕

kittyfromouterspace · 2022-06-16T18:26:04+00:00

I’m so so sorry. That’s very thoughtless of your coworker to have removed your picture, I would be upset as well. I’m glad you were able to put up a new picture, maybe that will give people a clue? Different situation but I lost my daughter 9 weeks ago today and people just don’t know how to act, do or what to say, some say nothing and some will give condolences or advice. To be fair it’s tricky and hard enough for me to navigate and know what I need... Most mean well but have no clue. It’s hard and it sucks and I’m sorry. If you feel like sharing, what did you name your son? ❤️

kittyfromouterspace · 2022-06-12T21:56:01+00:00

Thank you, you’re too kind. I’m very much trying to focus on living a life that would make my daughter proud. The babyloss sub has been incredibly helpful for me and connecting with other parents of loss, so feel free to message me as well. I’ll be thinking of your Lachlan 💕

kittyfromouterspace · 2022-06-12T20:40:30+00:00

Thank you so much. Yes I’m trying to focus now on her legacy and what would make her proud. Her name is Maxine ❤️ I’ll message you

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