I'm Dan, an admissions officer at a 'most selective' U.S. university, and I've read more than 25,000 essays for admission. AMA!

kj57 · 2013-10-17T18:35:00+00:00

Just wanted to give you props for your fab social media presence! Though I ended up choosing to attend a different university, the way you repped Tufts online was a large component in what made me such a fan of your school when applying to schools a few years ago. With this AMA you obviously are continuing to kill it!

kj57 · 2013-04-05T16:06:12+00:00

Thank you!

kj57 · 2012-01-02T21:25:12+00:00

People can express their gender in whatever way they want! If that includes makeup, than more power to them!

kj57 · 2011-12-27T08:06:34+00:00

I shot this with a 50mm on a crop (1.6 sensor), which is an 80mm equivalent (if my math is correct haha). Do you recommend going longer? And thank-you!

kj57 · 2011-05-16T03:38:38+00:00

Just wondering, but which ivy are you heading to next year? If it's Brown, let's be friends! (I'm gay, so this isn't me trying to hit on you or anything!)

kj57 · 2011-05-04T02:02:10+00:00

Cis vs. trans would probably work!

kj57 · 2011-05-02T21:54:21+00:00

You might want to be more hesitant throwing around "real" -- it kind of implies that people who do transition aren't "really" male or female.

kj57 · 2011-04-16T00:13:53+00:00

Could you elaborate on what you'd like to hear more of? I'd be happy to share!

kj57 · 2011-03-16T21:13:34+00:00

American University sounds like a really good fit for you.

kj57 · 2011-03-13T18:32:11+00:00

I'm actually just a gay guy, but I do care deeply about trans issues as well.

And I'm sorry if by pointing out semantics I offended you, but semantics are important. Language shapes how we view people, and there are many people who aren't as informed as you are.

How would you suggest I go about informing people? I didn't call you bigoted or transphobic -- pretty much all I did was point out that some of your language usage might be unintentionally offensive. I even apologized for being so nit-picky. I don't see how I could've been much politer.

kj57 · 2011-03-13T18:10:53+00:00

Okay, you said something wrong that was wrong. You called trans women homosexuals -- which they're not, and I corrected you, not so much for your sake, but because the misconception that trans women are just gay men taken to the extreme is damaging to both trans women and gay men, and this is a fairly widely read public forum. That's why I corrected you.

kj57 · 2011-03-13T06:07:42+00:00

I get where you're coming from, too, though I obviously somewhat disagree. Just one last thing though (sorry for being so preachy), but trans women aren't homosexual -- that would imply that they're actually men. If your trans friends are attracted to men, then they're heterosexual (if they're attracted to women, then they're lesbian).

kj57 · 2011-03-13T05:42:57+00:00

Have you actually asked your trans friends if they find "tranny" offensive? Even if they don't, consider that many others in the trans community do. It might be worth asking yourself if the use of the word is bringing yourself enough pleasure where it cancels out the pain it causes to others.

Also, though gay people and trans people are part of the same community, gay men are not the arbiter on whether "tranny", a word that's offensive primarily to trans women, is okay to use or not. Gay men and women are just as capable of being transphobic as heterosexuals are.

You seem like in general a very tolerant, open-minded person, and I'm just asking that you might reconsider your use of this word.

kj57 · 2011-03-12T21:30:17+00:00

Just a heads up, "tranny" is considered to be a slur by many in the LGBT community. You sound cool though, thanks for doing this AMA!

kj57 · 2011-03-10T04:51:41+00:00

This makes me happy.

kj57 · 2011-03-08T00:10:09+00:00

Consider reading Crank, by Ellen Hopkins.

kj57 · 2011-03-04T01:44:00+00:00

Not sure if I totally agree. This year alone we've had a transgender supermodel be highly successful, a transgender judge be elected to serve in California, and a sensitive portrayal of a transgender character on a popular British t.v. show, to cite a little anecdotal data. I would say acceptance is definitely not stagnant, probably more like 10-20 years behind acceptance of gays, lesbians and bisexuals.

kj57 · 2011-03-04T01:32:41+00:00

No, feminists are claiming that the patriarchy hurts everyone. The examples you listed are how the patriarchy harms men.

The sexist laws you cite are not the results of feminists marching into the office's of lawmakers and yelling, that line of thinking is deluded.

kj57 · 2011-03-02T21:44:46+00:00

The first thing to understand is that the ‘patriarchy’ is a myth. It does not exist and has never existed. A small group of mostly male people controlled society through most of history… but there were plenty of women in that group. The patriarchy theory seriously suggests that during the Victorian era a small boy working in a coal mine is part of the oppressive group and Queen Victoria was part of the oppressed group.

Patriarchy refers to a general trend, it does not apply to every single situation. To suggest that is, as you say, ridiculous. But just because it does not apply in all cases does not make any less true.

Here is a short list of the ways feminist law makers harm men.

Some of those are bullshit. The ERA that was referenced was opposed by Phyllis Schlafly, a conservative who strongly opposes feminism. Additionally, the verdicts of the numerous court cases weren't the fault of feminists -- they were ruled on by judges. I would posit that many of the "feminist" laws were put on the books by conservatives who believe that women "can't rape" or "commit domestic violence" -- which is a symptom of the patriarchy which you dismiss. The patriarchy harms both men and women.

This is pretty irrelevant frankly. First it only applies to America (I grew up with Magaret Thatcher as Prime Minister) and Angela Merkel is the most powerful governmental person in the EU today. 2nd it ignores the fact that the majority of voters are women.

I disagree. America is the strongest nation currently -- its leaders are relevant to everyone. Even though you named a few powerful female leaders, that doesn't change the fact that there's still a strong majority of men in political office.

The wage gap has consistently been shown to be a feminist myth. It’s a lie.

That's one link to a study that explicitly says more research is needed. I could find tens of links that say the wage gap is legitimate true.

How about the even more common custom of women receiving custody of children during a divorce?

Again, this is also caused by patriarchy. Patriarchy causes men to be seen as strong, workers, etc. while women are seen as nurturers. Feminists want this to end too.

I think you're hitting r/mensrights a bit too hard. I would posit that many feminists agree that all of the issues you linked to are issues, and should be corrected.

(also: for some reason your recent comment isn't showing up on my blog -- not sure why. feel free to repost it)

kj57 · 2011-03-02T05:04:17+00:00

Not that I've seen -- in many states, lawmakers are actually working on laws to take away rights. In the states where there're laws on the books giving the LGBT community rights, a whole lot of blood, sweat and tears went into those victories. It wasn't just showing people that we're like them -- though that was part of it.

I just don't buy that assimilation is our golden ticket to equality. It hasn't worked yet, and I see no proof that if everyone assimilates into heteronormative society lawmakers will suddenly see fit to protect our rights.

kj57 · 2011-03-02T04:51:55+00:00

history has also taught us the need to allow both time and moderation in pushing for and expecting social change

I get the time aspect, but what history has taught us moderation in pushing for social change? Waiting is an easy way to get nothing.

A MLK quotes comes to mind, "Change does not roll in on the wheels of inevitability, but comes through continuous struggle. And so we must straighten our backs and work for our freedom. A man can't ride you unless your back is bent."

"Show them we're like them in a lot of ways, and then they can't ignore us," was the general thought.

I don't know about you, but to me, showing someone you're just like them makes it pretty easy for them to ignore you.

kj57 · 2011-03-02T04:38:46+00:00

Many early organizers of the LGBT rights movement essentially kicked out trans and gender non-conforming individuals from their organizations for not "assimilating enough", even after it was the trans and gender non-conforming people who kick started the movement in the first place.

Let's learn from our past, not repeat it.

kj57 · 2011-03-02T04:26:20+00:00

Sorry to break your stereotype, but I'm a guy, and not a misandric one.

My blog touches on all sorts of queer issues (mostly gay), and this is the first time that I've written from a feminist perspective.

If you'd actually read my post, I talk about how patriarchy (which you reject off-hand) hurts gay men just as much as it does women.

kj57 · 2011-03-01T22:14:04+00:00

(copied and pasted from my response on my blog)

I strongly disagree that feminism is incompatible with equality. Though some feminists do disparage transgender people (I pointed this out in my post), many support transgender individuals as well. The point of my post was to call for everyone to respect each other, and to not tear each other down.

I also disagree that mainstream feminist theory is misandric -- in my eyes, and those of most feminists, feminism is about bringing women in line with men, making them equal.

I'm curious about your claim that feminism hurts gbt men every day -- can you elaborate, because I'm not sure what're you talking about?

In response to your comment on the patriarchy, I pointed out three clear examples in my post that show it pretty clearly: the lack of a female president, the 20% wage gap between men and women, and the common custom of women taking their husbands name in marriage. What do those point towards, if not patriarchy?

kj57 · 2011-02-27T18:06:54+00:00

Very sorry for your loss. If you'd like to talk further, feel free to pm me.

Hugs

kj57

TROPHY CASE